There was a rebroadcast of the Opening Ceremonies of the Beijing Olympics 2008 on Saturday. I watched some of it and was reminded of the answer to the questions people would ask me frequently.

"Why China? Why teach?"

These questions would send me into a whirlwind of thought and reflection. I would be tempted to return those questions with some of my own.

Is it possible to watch those performances and not be inspired?

Is it possible to learn about the symbolism in a seemingly simple Chinese character and not find universal truths?

Is it possible to see the innocent and sincere smile on a child's face and not feel a little warmth in your heart as well?

Is it possible to learn of the history and culture of these people and not stand in awe?

I'm fascinated with the people, language, culture, place. I'm curious about it all. I want to learn more, more, more.

Now, I'm often asked whether I'll be going to China after I heal or if it's out completely. I realize that anything can happen between now and when I'm back to full health. I realize that at any given moment, something could change my mind. But for now, I still want to go. And I know that someday I will. That's enough for me right now.

Since my last post I...

• went to a specialist who took blood from my body and later told me I have mono.
• went to another specialist who told me I also have TMJ. I now have a splint/retainer/thing that I wear when I sleep and a few hours during the day. It's supposed to fix everything. People make fun of me.
  
• played lots of beans. Lost every game but I'm still obsessed with it!
  
• went on a date.
  
• set my best friend up with her potential future boyfriend. Just call me Emma.
  
• got into a war with these. And won. Which, in fact, was the same night as the two previous bullets.
  
• went to Taco Tuesday with the guys I've been hanging around lately to fill the void of my friends on missions. But don't worry, I'm not using them. They do more than fill the void, we have lots o fun. If anything, they use me so they can say they actually got a girl to come this week. Yep, they really said that.
  
• simply ha-ad a wonderful Christmas time!

That's pretty much it. I met a Chinese guy today. Long story short, he was my friends mission companion and he will be attending UVU. Pretty much awesome. I took a few moments to be sad about my China plans falling through. If anything, my desire to go to China has increased. It was really cool to talk to him. I wish I could speak Chinese. It's a beautiful language.

Right now I'm waiting for a night of fun to begin with some friends. I predict laughing.

A lot has happened within the past little while. I'll tell the story after I say this.

I've been thinking lately about the things I post on this blog and why I leave some parts of my life out. A part of me believes that there are certain things in life that are just too personal to share with other people and that those other people might not want to hear that part. I still believe that, but on the other hand I've come to the conclusion that whoever doesn't want to hear it, doesn't have to read. "It", in this context, is defined as everything that goes on in my life that I have something to say about, yet I leave it out of the blog. Main topics that fall under this category are my dating life and my spiritual and church life. So from now on, I Go There. If I feel like writing about those things (or anything else for that matter) I will. If I don't feel like it, I wont. The end. =)

So here is the story. I'm sick. Don't know what it is yet, therefore don't know how to fix it yet. Because of this, teaching in China is being postponed until we know what's going on and I get back on my feet. Making that decision is at the top of my list of hardest things I've ever had to do in my life this far. Right up there next to saying goodbye to Sam. (OH MY GOSH I SAID HIS NAME ON THE INTERNET. =) Hahaha!) Where was I? Oh yeah. China is postponed until future notice. Overall, I'm okay with that. (Although, I'm sure you'll hear me whining about this soon enough.)

School is on hold too. I withdrew from classes yesterday. So, for now, I'm omitting all stress from my life, and focusing on getting healthy. I'm keeping my part-time job. The plan is, as I get better I'll ease into life again. Whether it's China, college, massage therapy school, cello lessons, or Hogwarts. Seriously, the possibilities are endless. And I'm looking at ALL the possibilities. =)

I'm taking this time, not only to heal, but to also:

• enjoy the cherished company of my lovely family
• laugh hysterically with my crazy awesome friends
• learn what it is I was put in this world to do and figure out how to do it
• help out with the high school lacrosse team I started last year (Ran into Coach T today. And by "ran into" I mean that I went to the high school to see her. She doesn't have an assistant coach yet and wants me. I'm thinking, why not? If I'm feeling up to it, it will make me feel like less of a loser. I love lacrosse.)
  
• listen to the music note residing on my heart and do what it tells me to do
• the possibilities are endless... =) any ideas? (That means comment on this post, please.)

I wrote this last night, "Question for thought... Today I did some of the hardest things I've ever had to do, withdrawing from school and deciding to postpone China, so why is it that I'm happier right now than I have been in days? Weeks even?"

Could it be the stress relief? The empowering love and support I've received from family and friends? Actually making progress in some direction instead of just spinning wheels? Gratitude? Hope? I think it's a mixture of all.

Dear Family,

Thank you.

Love, Megan

Tentative China departure date has changed. Now the website says February 2. Which means I'll miss your birthday AND yours. And virtually everything that will be potentially happening in the family during the year 2009. I don't like that. I'm sorry that I probably won't get to be there on your special days. If I could be two places at one time, I'd be with you. I really would. Because my family is very very important to me. Missing you is the only downside that I can see to this wonderful opportunity. And miss you I will. A lot. Don't forget that.

I don't think I'll go into detail about who and what I'll miss so much. Because that will just make me sad. I'll just post about it when I experience it.

As for my lack of posts... whoops. Life gets crazy sometimes. The last couple weeks have seemed a little crazier for me. I don't really know what to say about it. I have this image in my head and if I could draw, maybe I would draw a picture of how I feel. I'm afraid words can't describe this odd feeling.

Whatevs.

I need poetry.

And music.

And more sleep.

I am a part of the "Fellowship of the Unashamed."
The die has been cast. I have stepped over the line.
The decision has been made. I am a disciple of
Jesus Christ. I won't look back, let up, slow down,
back away, or be still. My past is redeemed, my present
makes sense, and my future is secure.
I am finished and done with low living, sight walking,
small planning, smooth knees, colorless dreams,
chintzy giving, and dwarfed goals.

I no longer need pre-eminence, prosperity, position,
promotions, plaudits, or popularity. I now live by
presence, lean by faith, love by patience,
lift by prayer, and labor by power. My pace
is set, my gait is fast, my goal is Heaven, my
road is narrow, my way is rough, my companions few,
my Guide reliable, my mission clear. I cannot be bought,
compromised, deterred, lured away, turned back,
diluted, or delayed.

I will not flinch in the face of sacrifice, hesitate in the
presence of adversity, negotiate at the table of the enemy,
ponder at the pool of popularity, or meander
in the maze of mediocrity.

I am a disciple of Jesus Christ. I must go until
Heaven returns, give until I drop, preach until all know,
and work until He comes. And when He comes to get
His own, He will have no problem recognizing me.
My colors will be clear.

I am not ashamed of the gospel. (Romans 1:16)

"The Fellowship of the Unashamed"
Dr. Bob Moorehead


My friend shared this with me the other day. It speaks to me. I am part of the Fellowship of the Unashamed. Simple.

During the past couple of weeks I have felt inspired. Inspired by music and events. I want to create something that will have the same effect on others as she or they (or most recently, they) have had on me. (And I thank Steve Vistaunet for introducing me to all via you.) I have this increased desire to write music. Small problem with that... I have no idea how. I suppose fooling around with chords on the piano and guitar will get me somewhere?

I'm afraid that if I do try to write something, it will just be a generic, inexpressive bore. One of those silly songs that teenage girls (myself included) sing in the car on the way to the mall to like, shop. I don't want to be cheese. I want to make something more than that. Something real. Don't know where to start.

I feel like there's something inside of me, trying to get out. There's a song or two deep in my fingers, waiting to escape. I can't describe this feeling. I picture it as a little music note that has appeared on the surface on my heart. I know it's there is because it whispers to me, "Write me, write me. Turn me into a melody. Play me. Sing me. I need to be heard."

Lyrics shouldn't be a problem for me. I have pages and pages of things I've written that could become lyrics. But they just don't fit. They aren't what the music note on my heart needs to become. So I ask, "What are your words, little music note? What are your sounds? What is your melody? What is your rhythm? What is your message?"

Thoughts? Suggestions? Words of encouragement? I have the want, but do I have the ability? The knowledge?

PS: I'm buying this. I need it.

I am a young man. Human life is a musical. I sing on a boat. A big ship. The song ends on the deck with a big splash. Another tsunami wave comes, threatening the boats stability. It's existence. I am not afraid. The ocean gives me peace. The boat is covered in water. The wave brought a girl with it. She lies on the deck as if she was washed up on shore. I begin to approach her and without a word she stands and takes my hand. Together we run, jump into the water and begin swimming to a new song. Her song. I can breathe under the water. Or can I just hold my breathe longer than I could before?

A blue whale shakes my panicked hand and greets me in English. Or do I just understand his language? I suppose the whale was the cause of the wave on the ship. The three of us swim together and I feel as if I can’t keep up. I hold onto the whale to carry me. Can a whale chuckle? We swim on. The familiar girl swims with elegance and expertise. It is beautiful. She is beautiful. Where have I seen her before? How do I know her?

Now I am the girl. I am me. I look at him and smile. I’ve finally found him. Now I will never let him go. We swim in silent understanding. I can feel his eyes adoring me as I twist and move and jump. Like a mermaid. But that is not what I am. He will soon understand. He will soon remember his life before. His life with me when we were in love. His life as one of us. A mammal of the sea.

I am fascinated. Why would I dream of being a whale? Is this weird to any one else?

pic⋅ture [pik-cher]

noun, verb, -tured, -tur⋅ing. –noun

1. A visual representation or image painted, drawn, photographed, or otherwise rendered on a flat surface.
2. A visible image, especially one on a flat surface or screen: the picture reflected in the lake; focused the picture on the movie screen.
3. a. A vivid or realistic verbal description: a Shakespearean picture of guilt.b. A vivid mental image.
4. A person or object bearing a marked resemblance to another: She's the picture of her mother.
5. A person, object, or scene that typifies or embodies an emotion, state of mind, or mood: Your face was the very picture of horror.
6. The chief circumstances of an event or time; a situation.
7. A movie.
8. A tableau vivant.

-- pic·tured, pic·tur·ing, pic·tures
1. To make a visible representation of.
2. To form a mental image of; visualize.
3. To describe vividly in words; make a verbal picture of

If a picture paints a thousand words, then why can't I paint you?

By which I mean the trees. Definitely for the trees.

There is this little grove of trees on campus. I walk past it almost every day. The first week I was here, I remember looking at all the green and hoping that Utah would give me a legitimate Autumn so I could enjoy this. Thanks, Utah.

It is on repeat.

First off, this version is simple. Beautiful. Emotional. It seems to me that the simplest of phrases can be the most powerful.

"I want to hold your hand."

It's the beginning. It's going out on a limb. It's jumping and hoping you fall in the right place. It's expressive. It's without reservation. It's your diary screaming out loud. It's being so sure of your feelings and emotions that you can't hide it inside yourself anymore. It's just needing to say it. Or write it. It's a shaky voice of confession. It's stuttering words of affirmation. A declaration. It's music. It's art. It's colors. It's beautiful. A wonder. A thought. A dream. A wish. A heart.

Oh yeah, I’ll tell you something. I think you’ll understand when I say that something. I wanna hold your hand. I wanna hold your hand. I wanna hold your hand.

Oh, please, say to me you’ll let me be your man and please, say to me you’ll let me hold your hand. Now let me hold your hand. I wanna hold your hand.

And when I touch you I feel happy inside. It’s such a feeling that my love I can’t hide. I can’t hide. I can’t hide.

Yeah you got that something I think you’ll understand when I say that something. I wanna hold your hand. I wanna hold your hand. I wanna hold your hand.

I wanna hold your hand.

quix⋅ot⋅ic   /kwɪkˈsɒtɪk/ Show Spelled Pronunciation [kwik-sot-ik]
–adjective

1.	(sometimes initial capital letter) resembling or befitting Don Quixote.

2.	extravagantly chivalrous or romantic; visionary, impractical, or impracticable.

3.	impulsive and often rashly unpredictable.

He is quixotic in a way with which I am unfamiliar, causing my thoughts to wave and crash about the sea.

I've been ignoring you, blog. I'm sorry. I'll try to stop. It's not that I haven't had any blog worthy experiences, thoughts, or words. I have. I really have. Lots of them too. Like the Jon Schmidt concert I went to. And the seasons changing. And music. And books. And adventures. And WOTD. And questions. And learns. Believe me when I say this: It's not you, it's me.

I've learned a few things while I've avoided posting:

1. College is hard.
2. Working at a restaurant and going to school full-time... is hard.
3. When you are doing numbers 1 and 2, it's not smart to sit at home and play music during your free time like you want to. (Unless, of course, music is your major. Which I have to admit... that sounds really good right now. Reallly good.)
4. All these things will wear you out. And if you're not careful, you'll get sick.
5. And tired.
6. And you won't be able to sleep.
7. And when you do sleep, you'll find it very hard to wake up.
8. And you'll get sick.
   

My sisters cracked jokes the other day when I told them I might quit my job and take a job at a new bookstore that's opening next week. It was funny. Well, I took the job. Because the restaurant? Might just maybe possibly a little bit sorta be the cause of numbers 4-7. Maybe.

Okay, it totally is. And just the thought of a less stressful job is helping me come out of my cave. Because I've been hibernating. If you've seen me within the past couple weeks, I wasn't really conscious. I was sleep walking.

Concerning China:

• Fuqing is indeed pronounced Fuching.
• The ILP program is new to the school at which I will be teaching. Which means that I'm the first impression. And most likely, these kids don't know a lick of English. Exciting! Daunting!
  
• I'm not excited for the medical forms I need to fill out.
• I want your opinion on something, dear blog. They say that the teachers in the program get a lot of downtime. One girl said that when she went to China, she read 17 books. SEVENTEEN. That makes me drool. But I have a problem, I wont have room in my luggage to pack SEVENTEEN books. Plus, what if I don't get to all SEVENTEEN? What if I finish all of them and get bored? So, I'm looking into electronic book readers. I also think that this would be cheaper than buying every book I want to read and bringing it with me. I like this one and this one. I'm going to try to get a deal on eBay, so let me know what you think! Also, if you know of any other models that are good, I'm interested.

I promise to not be gone so long this time.

International Language Programs


Dear Megan,

Congratulations!  You have been assigned to Fuqing in China for the
Spring 2009 semester. We are excited to have you teach with our
 program and know you will do a wonderful job serving the children.

Thank you for completing the Application and Documents Packet!
We now have the information we need to prepare for your service
abroad.

You will mainly be teaching Primary level classes. Please keep in mind
that we make level assignments to help you be able to gather
age-appropriate supplies—primary teachers will be working with children
ages 4-8 years; elementary teachers will be working with children ages
9-16 years. However, once you are in the country, you may be asked to
teach classes in the other level to accommodate changes in enrollment.
To ensure that you’ll be ready to teach either level, you’ll be trained
for both. We appreciate your flexibility in this area.

Please plan to attend one complete volunteer training session. You can
find the training schedule on our web site at www.ilp.org/training. Your
participation in one of the training sessions is required. Training
sessions provide the answers to many of your questions, introduce you to
the culture, language, other volunteers, and most importantly the ILP
teaching method. Please call the office or email ________ to let us
know which training session you will attend.

If you will be departing in the next two months, please download the
Medical Forms packet found at www.ilp.org/docspacket. These medical
documents must be submitted at least one month before departure. If you
will be departing later, we will email you this packet about two months
before departure.

We look forward to meeting with you again and sharing in your excitement
as you continue to prepare for this adventure abroad!


Sincerely,
ILP Review Committee Chairperson

Shan. =)

light·ning /ˈlaɪtnɪŋ/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[lahyt-ning]

–noun

1.	a brilliant electric spark discharge in the atmosphere, occurring within a thundercloud, between clouds, or between a cloud and the ground.

–verb (used without object)

2.	to emit a flash or flashes of lightning (often used impersonally with it as subject): If it starts to lightning, we'd better go inside.

–adjective

3.	of, pertaining to, or resembling lightning, esp. in regard to speed of movement: lightning flashes; lightning speed.

The lightning tore into the sky, so we danced to the cadence of the thunder's rhythm.
(Cadence maybe have to be WOTD soon.)

The tag is to post the fourth picture in the fourth folder of your pictures folder. I was tagged by Rachel. She's awesome.

I took this while I was in Boston last year. I miss that place. This was at the aquarium. That place was hands down the best aquarium I've ever been to. There were penguins all on the first level and the whole room was a spiral ramp. You could get off at any level. The walls of the ramp? Glass to a giant tank where all the sea creatures were. This is where we met Crush. ("Righteous! RIGHTEOUS!")

I hereby tag: Mom, Mom, Kenna, Erika, Elle, ... basically anyone reading. =)

per·snick·et·y /pərˈsnɪkɪti/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[per-snik-i-tee]

–adjective Informal.

1.	overparticular; fussy.

2.	snobbish or having the aloof attitude of a snob.

3.	requiring painstaking care.

Mom, You're persnickety.

e·ter·ni·ty /ɪˈtɜrnɪti/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[i-tur-ni-tee]

–noun, plural -ties.

1.	infinite time; duration without beginning or end.

2.	eternal existence, esp. as contrasted with mortal life: the eternity of God.

3.	Theology. the timeless state into which the soul passes at a person's death.

4.	an endless or seemingly endless period of time: We had to wait an eternity for the check to arrive.

5.	eternities, the truths or realities of life and thought that are regarded as timeless or eternal.

Families can be together through the eternities.

One Sunday evening, Megan was trying to print something from her laptop. She hooked up to printer number 1: not working. Then she hooked up to printer number 2. After a few minutes she realized that the reason printer number 2 wasn't working for her was because it was not plugged into the wall. After plugging printer number 2 into the wall, she realized that the chord she thought was for printer number 2 was really for printer number 1. When she tried sending the document to printer number 1, it didn't work. So she searched for the chord to printer number 2. She found it quickly and printed her document. She then wondered what she had hooked up to the first time, when she thought she was connected to printer number 1. She followed the chord and, much to her dismay, found that it was the chord to the mouse.

om·i·nous /ˈɒmənəs/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[om-uh-nuhs]

–adjective

1.	portending evil or harm; foreboding; threatening; inauspicious: an ominous bank of dark clouds.

2.	having the significance of an omen.

The smoke coming from the hood of the car isn't as ominous as it seems.

I want to start a word of the day list. Expand my vocabulary, if you will. So every day - haha - I will have a word of the day. It will probably be one that I read recently and didn't know the definition so I had to look it up. Or maybe it will just be a word I like that day. Who knows.

This one is from my research on my paper about the Hungarian Revolution of 1956. I still don't have a specific angle. I'm in early research stages. A rough draft is due in a week. ACK!

PS I read and walk at the same time. I think it's the only way to be successful with all the reading that is required in college classes. I've only had one close encounter with a wall.

u·biq·ui·tous /yuˈbɪkwɪtəs/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[yoo-bik-wi-tuhs]

adjective

- existing or being everywhere, esp. at the same time; omnipresent: ubiquitous fog; ubiquitous little ants.

The Soviet troops were ubiquitous, rounding up Hungarian citizens with various Russian commands.

I didn't want to post anything earlier this week without being able to give you good news. But I'm going! I got an email this afternoon from ILP, accepting me for the Spring 2009 semester which means I will leave sometime in January or February and returning in June.

Now, I still need to fill out a 15 page document and make a payment in order to officially reserve my spot so I still don't know exact dates. But. I've been accepted! And I'm so excited!

I'm excited to meet my students and fall in love with them. I'm excited to teach them and learn from them. I'm excited to take pictures of everything I see and blog about my entire experience. I'm excited to explore. I'm about to live my dream. I'm excited for everything. I'm excited to just crash and burn while I'm teaching because... (sigh)... I don't speak Mandarin. I'm excited to learn more about myself and the world. And cultures. And people. And history. Everything. Learn. Grow. Discover. Accomplish. Live. Laugh. Love. Ardently.

To do list:

1. Pick a program: check.
2. Pick a country: check.
3. Apply online: check.
4. Get academic reference: check.
5. Get character reference: check.
   
6. Go to interview: check.
   
7. Apply for passport: check.
   
8. Get accepted: will know next week.
   

So I'm a college student. Yep. I go to college. I learn. Lalala. Nothing too special about that.

Things I am happy about right now:

• Pretty sure I'm getting "a little kitty kiiitty". You basically just have to hear me say that.
• I'm enjoying school, and the knowledge I get from it. Like the other day, in my Interpersonal Communications class, we were learning about relationships. There are different kinds you see. Like, I-It (generally consist of strangers, maybe a server. Someone you don't treat like an individual, they are just there), I-You (most of your friends/acquaintances. You recognize them as an individual), and I-Thou (basically your family and best friends, you know their hopes and dreams and they know yours). I had a job interview. The guy treated me like an "It". Well, I didn't appreciate that. So I don't care if they give me the job.
• I'm making many new friends. People from school. People from church. People I like. People who like me. Friends.
• I filled out a Passport Application. I'm not entirely sure where I'm going. Or when. That's why I'm getting a passport now. How about we put a vote on it? When you get the chance go here, here, and here. Pick your favorite and tell me why. And please! Comments mean a lot to me and so does your opinion! Also, if you know of any other programs along these lines, I'm interested!
  
• Took my first test today, I really think I did well. I'll let ya know.
• I have two job interviews this week/next week. Woo!
• I put bed risers on my bed. I feel like a princess.
  

Things I am unhappy about:

• Some friends seem to be disappearing out of my life. Some seem to be popping in every once in a while. Teasing me. They love me, they love me not. Please make up your minds. It's hard not knowing if you'll be around or not.
• I don't get to read as much as I want. I mean novels. Those beautiful stories I hunger for. Last night I was talking to some friends about books and movies. Before this conversation, I considered myself relatively well-read. Ooh-ho-hoh no. I was sadly mistaken. It made me desperately want to sit and read for days. Not so I could catch up to them in their knowledgeable ways. They talked so highly of classics like Moby Dick and Crime and Punishment. Jane Eyre and Persuasion. All books I've wanted to read but just haven't had the time.
• I saw a really big scary spider in my room yesterday. No really. This one was really bad. Like, huge. I'm not exaggerating this time. Ew. I'm unhappy about this because I think he was in the mafia. So he probably has friends. Who are his size. ACK!
  

Things I've been thinking about:

• I have this one friend who seems to read me like a book. I don't even know him that well. Maybe he's just really that perceptive, or maybe I wear my heart on my sleeve but he knows when I'm not myself. Also, every time I talk to him, he says something that is a huge answer to a question bobbing around in my soul. On any other day, if he said what he did, it would be nothing special. Wouldn't think twice about it. But the other day a simple, "You are awesome, thanks for being yourself" was a big deal to me.
• I'm friends with these two people (the ones I was talking books with as I mentioned earlier). They are brother and sister. They have an awesome relationship. I can't really put my finger on what makes their relationship so interesting to me. They're best friends. The word patience comes to mind. It makes me wonder what their childhood was like together. What drew these two siblings together instead of others in their family? Or is their entire this close with each other?
• There's nothing wrong with being yourself. Even if it makes other people unhappy. Especially if it makes other people unhappy. I learned this again. I won't change who I am because someone doesn't like it. What I like, or what I don't. What I do or don't do. What I believe in. And I believe in a lot of things. Possibly a whole post's worth.
• Also, I think it's very fashionable to wear your heart on your sleeve. Maybe you get hurt more but you learn, grow, and become a lot more too.

The end.

Song of the day.
Favorite moments:
"Are your friends really your friends?
Are you still waiting for the end of the day?
Hey, hey, when will you learn to love what's sent from up above?
...
But it's a facade like the sky, like the moon, like your eyes
...
Oh, I wish I had someone.
Who would want you as you are?
What can you give they couldn't get from someone else?
What life of ease, what wedding bells, what pretty stones, what precious wealth?
...
It's called a come on, come on, come on baby
Does your heart echo like a hall
'Cause there's no one there at all"

I'm not creative enough to step away from the tradition of the random 100 facts in celebration of the 100th post. I sure hope it doesn't bore any of you to tears.

1. When I was about two years old I got drunk after I got into the window wash.
2. I was rushed to the hospital to get my stomach pumped.
   
3. As a child I was very quiet and shy.
4. Most people I meet now don't believe this.
5. I went to the first three days of Kindergarten in pull-ups.
6. When I realized that all the other kids really WERE using the potty, I grew a desire to wear the big girl panties.
   
7. For the majority of my childhood, I would only consume macaroni and cheese and peanut butter and watermelon sandwiches.
8. I hate watermelon unless it's on a peanut butter sandwich.
9. I only like extra crunchy peanut butter.
10. I get that from my stepmom.
11. I only say stepmom because I have to. If I didn't have to differentiate between my two moms, I wouldn't. They are both my mom.
12. In fact, "step" isn't really part of my daily vocabulary.
13. I did gymnastics until I broke my arm in the fourth grade by falling off the high bar.
14. I wore a Snoopy sling for months.
15. When they said I didn't need it anymore I cut it up into small pieces and lit those pieces on fire.
16. I was way too cool for that stupid Snoopy sling.
17. I grew out of the hating Snoopy stage.
    
18. I believe in Christ, His gospel and church.
19. Those beliefs make me the happy one.
    
20. In elementary school and junior high I was involved in musical theatre.
21. I still have a passion for acting, singing, and dancing.
22. I'm not too great at any of them. Except maybe singing.
23. I have a fiery passion for music of every kind.
24. I think the passion was always there, but my piano teacher was the one who lit it on fire.
    
25. I've played the piano for ten years.
26. A year or two before I quit taking lessons my piano teacher told me she had come close to quitting many times and that my talent, dedication, and success was one of the main reasons she kept sticking with it. The second she said that, I knew I wouldn't play for anyone except her.
27. I still feel guilty for quitting.
28. I've played lacrosse since I was in 8th grade.
29. During my senior year I pretty much single handedly started a lacrosse team at my high school.
30. It was one of the best experiences of my life.
31. The wonderful coach of that team started calling me Megs.
32. It's my favorite nickname.
    
33. I grind my teeth when I sleep. This causes me to have frequent headaches.
34. Because my jaw muscles are so exhausted all the time, I rarely chew gum. It intensifies the headache.
35. My jaw pops every time I open it, but only on the left side.
36. Almost every one of my joints pop with out much force.
37. I have arthritis. I know when the weather is about to change.
    
38. If given the choice, I will always pick something that is on my left side. Or the bottom of a stack.
39. When I'm shopping at the grocery store, I never take the front item. Especially if it's chips. It's because the ones in the back are touched less.
40. I will always pick odd numbers. For instance, the T.V. volume must be an odd number.
41. The only exception to this is when eating. Equal/even amounts of food to each side of the mouth.
42. I love alliterations and use them frequently when I'm writing creatively.
43. I love poems and short stories.
44. I took a creative writing class and wrote a few short stories and some poems.
45. My teacher bribed me to submit them to a teen literary magazine.
46. I have no idea if they got published or not. I don't really care either way.
47. Writing has always been more of a stress outlet for me than for an audience.
48. I also experiment with art as a stress outlet. I find it soothing.
49. There are millions of books on my reading list. I often go to the bookstore and drool.
    
50. Something tells me I wont get to all of them.
51. I daydream about my future everyday.
52. I look at my niece and nephews and wonder what my kids will be like. What kind of mother I will be.
53. No matter where I am, I always sleep with my back towards the entrance of the room.
54. I feel like if I'm not constantly progressing in some way or another, I'm moving backwards.
55. I hate cold weather.
56. I must have at least two sons and one daughter because I already have their first and middle names picked out.
57. Future Husband has absolutely no say in the matter.
58. Well, unless he likes the names. Which he will, or I wouldn't have married him.
59. I have a pretty good idea of what kind of person Future Husband will be.
60. I have a hunger for traveling and experiencing other cultures.
61. I say hunger because I feel like I'm living without a major necessity having never left the U.S.
62. My best friend and I share this hunger. Ever since we met we've had this joke that once we both graduated high school, we would get enough money for a plane ticket and work our way around the world. Nomads.
63. We both know that the other is in no way joking.
64. I love school supplies.
65. One of my very favorite movies is You've Got Mail. I identify with Kathleen Kelly.
66. Not in the emailing and falling in love with a perfect stranger who happens to be the man who puts me out of business kind of way. More in the I love books and simplicity and Jane Austen and daisies and bouquets of newly sharpened pencils way.
67. I love pictures because they seem to speak without words.
68. I have a coat hanger in my room.
69. It holds purses and scarves... and coats.
70. I pride myself in saying that I have a childlike sense of adventure and curiosity.
71. Speaking of pride, my sisters say that I will grow up and have 12 kids and a perfect garden and wonderful kitchen and so on. The epitome of a soccer mom.
    
72. I always bring it up in a mockingly bitter tone when my future is being discussed with out my input.
73. One time after I did, my sister said that an emotion is visible on my face every time I say something about it and that emotion is pride.
74. She's right.
75. It's because I can't think of anything better to do with my life then raising a happy family.
76. It's also because they believe I'll be good at it.
77. I bring it up in a bitter way because I hate being so predictable.
78. I am actually accepted by both the pirate and ninja communities.
79. I have never lost an ugly face war.
80. I would almost always rather listen to oldies music than the music from the decade I was actually born.
81. I write in my journal almost every single day.
82. Sometimes I read it and realize how far I've come.
83. Sometimes I read it and laugh.
84. Sometimes I read it and want to throw it away because no one should have to read THAT!
85. But I never do.
86. Because what if my great grandchildren read it and can relate to my craziness?
87. I'll tell you what. They'll know that they are doomed to become like the giggling old lady in a rocking chair that pinches their cheeks and won't stop talking about rainbows and butterflies.
    
88. Sometimes I have panic attacks.
89. Don't worry, it's rare and I'm learning how to keep it under control.
90. I love hugs.
91. I love rings.
92. I love collages.
93. I love photo booths.
94. I can sew a pillowcase.
95. I can bake some great chocolate chip cookies.
96. I can't take a shower that lasts longer than 15 minutes.
97. My favorite colors are yellow, orange, and green. They are the happiest colors. Friendly.
98. More of my personality comes out when I'm extremely tired.
99. I have a razor scooter with a basket and bell. I ride it often.
100. I will never half-heartedly commit to something that's important to me. Sometimes I'm even a bit of a perfectionist.
     

In high school, there was this bench. It was right outside of the cafeteria. "The Bench" is where I spent my lunch hour every day during my junior year. It was more than just a bench. We formed friendships and memories there.

I remember one day, after school, we sat on the bench and talked for a few. We all ended up on the floor, unable to stop laughing. I can't remember why.

This is the last of The Benchers. Missions are wonderful, but I already miss those friends.

Caley, Cam, Laney, Megan, Bridget, Dave, Sam, Mike (not a bencher, but still awesome)

Every once in a while, The Benchers get together and have a cereal party. A cereal party is usually on a Saturday morning or a holiday, such as today. It consists of unlimited supply of cereal, cartoons, movies, video games, friends, laughter, and silliness. Pajamas are required. It wasn't quite the same with out this guy today. He left in early August.

This kid is bangarang.

Surprise! The festivities started early with six close besties and this, on Friday afternoon.

"My name is Optimus Prime. We are autonomous robotic organisms from the planet Cybertron."

New boyfriend? Perhaps. Oh, who am I kidding? How can you resist those guns? (Haha! Get it?!)

Pinata! Pinata! Pinata!

I wish I had taken a picture of all who were there. My friend from Layton drove all the way here just for me. I'm loved.

Saturday was a happy birthday! It started with a delicious breakfast with Laney and Caley. Got distracted on the way home and went for a test drive.

Sasha.

The sky looks cool through the mirror.

Then I saw it again. I will never tire from that movie. Ever.

I will never ever ever grow up.

A friend of a friend was having a back to school party. That's where I met the teeter totter. Also where I met a new friend. From Australia. With an accent. Yep, that just happened. I wish I could talk like that. Or maybe I just wish I could hear people talk like that all the time.

One of my favorite birthdays. Throughout the day I said many things like, "Can you drive? It's my birthday." or "You should let me eat some of your french fries. Why? Because it's my birthday."

I got two other surprises here and here. Thank you! =)

And one of my best friends sent me this.

Yep. It fits.

Song of the day. -- OH MY AWESWOME!