I've been ignoring you, blog. I'm sorry. I'll try to stop. It's not that I haven't had any blog worthy experiences, thoughts, or words. I have. I really have. Lots of them too. Like the Jon Schmidt concert I went to. And the seasons changing. And music. And books. And adventures. And WOTD. And questions. And learns. Believe me when I say this: It's not you, it's me.

I've learned a few things while I've avoided posting:

1. College is hard.
2. Working at a restaurant and going to school full-time... is hard.
3. When you are doing numbers 1 and 2, it's not smart to sit at home and play music during your free time like you want to. (Unless, of course, music is your major. Which I have to admit... that sounds really good right now. Reallly good.)
4. All these things will wear you out. And if you're not careful, you'll get sick.
5. And tired.
6. And you won't be able to sleep.
7. And when you do sleep, you'll find it very hard to wake up.
8. And you'll get sick.
   

My sisters cracked jokes the other day when I told them I might quit my job and take a job at a new bookstore that's opening next week. It was funny. Well, I took the job. Because the restaurant? Might just maybe possibly a little bit sorta be the cause of numbers 4-7. Maybe.

Okay, it totally is. And just the thought of a less stressful job is helping me come out of my cave. Because I've been hibernating. If you've seen me within the past couple weeks, I wasn't really conscious. I was sleep walking.

Concerning China:

• Fuqing is indeed pronounced Fuching.
• The ILP program is new to the school at which I will be teaching. Which means that I'm the first impression. And most likely, these kids don't know a lick of English. Exciting! Daunting!
  
• I'm not excited for the medical forms I need to fill out.
• I want your opinion on something, dear blog. They say that the teachers in the program get a lot of downtime. One girl said that when she went to China, she read 17 books. SEVENTEEN. That makes me drool. But I have a problem, I wont have room in my luggage to pack SEVENTEEN books. Plus, what if I don't get to all SEVENTEEN? What if I finish all of them and get bored? So, I'm looking into electronic book readers. I also think that this would be cheaper than buying every book I want to read and bringing it with me. I like this one and this one. I'm going to try to get a deal on eBay, so let me know what you think! Also, if you know of any other models that are good, I'm interested.

I promise to not be gone so long this time.

I think I've been avoiding my blog lately. This week kind of went crazy on me.

A boy who went to my high school took his own life on Wednesday. Heartbreaking. I didn't know him very well. But I did know him. I can't help but wonder the "What ifs". What if I could have done something to help him? But I wouldn't have known to reach out to him because he seemed like one of the happiest kids I knew. He was the one bringing comic relief to the crowd. Always had a smile on his face. I stole his ring pop at a football game. He chased me down and stole it back. We then proceeded to cheer our classmates to a victory.

Things like this make me think. Carpe Diem, right? He died at 17. It makes me think how fragile life is. I'll remember him.

On a brighter note, I got two awesome books this week. One of them will be a coffee table book when I move out. Just call me a hippie. Because I am. "All you need is love." It's very awesome. It's... gooeyooeyastic! (I make up words sometimes. Deal with it.) The other, well, lets just say I think this guy is becoming one of my idols.

I'm thinking that the guys who sang to me on my run this morning are calming. Knocked some sense and reason into me. It just gave me a good start for the day. I'm looking up. Still slightly melancholy, pondering. But good.


Song of the day. --Awesome, right? It fits me today.

I'm sick. I only went to school for one class. I drove my mom's car because I asked a boy to a dance and in reply he decided you saran wrap my car. (The answer was "Yes" if you were wondering.)

Because I drove Mom's car, I had to park in visitor parking so I wouldn't get a ticket. After my class, as I was putting the key in the lock to get in the car, I heard a little honk to my right. Ed, the school's parking attendant, was shaking his pointer finger at me. Shame on me. I awaited the wrath as he waddled up to me.

"You can't park there."
"This is my mom's car. I didn't know where else to park because I don't have a sticker for it."
"You can't park there."
"I'm leaving ; does it really matter now?"
"How long have you been here?"
"Just third period."
(Shaking his head.) "No. You can't park here."
(Hysterical now, with tears welling up in my eyes.)
"I don't understand what I've done wrong! I'm sorry! I'm sick, and tired, and I just want to go home! I only came for ONE CLASS! There are PLENTY of other parking spots here! PLEASE, just let me go home!"
(Before I finished.)"Oh. Oh. Okay, okay. You go home. Just go home."
"Thank you."

And then I opened the door on my face. Sobbing, I slammed it hard and backed out of my spot quickly. I was temped to wave the Satan finger at him as I drove away. I resisted. Dang Nazi.

Fortunately, I only took a five minute shower which means I had time to do my hair.

Unfortunately, I got hungry so no make-up.

Fortunately, I was ready to leave for school 10 minutes earlier than I normally do just in case there was a storm.

Unfortunately, there was a storm.

Fortunately, it wasn't the kind of storm that creates an inch of ice on one's windshield.

Unfortunately, I got stuck in the snow.

Fortunately, I got out.

Unfortunately, the garbage dumpster still needed to be taken out to the street.

Fortunately, it was easy.

Unfortunately, I got stuck in the snow when I pulled over to take the garbage out.

Fortunately, I found a shovel.

Unfortunately, I fell whilst digging myself out.

Fortunately, I only fell once.

Unfortunately, I got stuck in the snow three more times on my way to school.

Fortunately, I got there in one piece.

Unfortunately, I was 30 minutes late to class.

Fortunately, writing Cinquains, Haikus, and Tonka poems is therapeutic.

Unfortunately, the bell rang and woke me from my word daydream.

Fortunately, I have been recently inspired.

Unfortunately, there is still snow outside.

Fortunately, someone cares.

Unfortunately, some idiot drove past the house with a giant shovel forcing ALL the snow to pile up three feet along the road making it perfectly impossible for my little Lola Belle to pull in to the driveway or the side of the road.

Fortunately, someone else offered to let me borrow her car. (Thank you, again.)

Unfortunately, there's still snow everywhere.

Fortunately, with a little clean up here and there with my new best friend Mr. Shovel, I got out of the driveway.

Unfortunately, I left my tennis shoes at home on my way to lacrosse.

Fortunately, I wasn't late and an intense workout with some nice girls made everything better.

Unfortunately, I find myself having moments like these all too often.

Fortunately, the little good things that make me happy in life add up. Like, family, friends, lacrosse, writing, reading, singing, dancing, twirling, laughing, smiling, coloring, doodling, music, etc. . . and they always make up for all the bad.