I went to the Draper Temple Open House yesterday.

We drove around it a few times to take some pictures.

What shade of blue would you say the sky was? My opinion: Glorious Blue. Coming soon to a Crayola box near you. (ha?)

Seriously, the weather lately has been splendid. As long as the sun is out, I'm happy.


I was so excited to see it. I can't even describe it. It was breathtakingly beautiful. If you're in the area, I suggest going to see it.


In certain rooms there are hand painted murals on the walls. They reminded me of Grandpa Ross. Made me think of some of his paintings I've seen. Which sent me into a whirlwind of thoughts and memories. I have a memory of going to church with Gpa Ross and Gma Lyn. (Maybe a cousin's mission farewell/homecoming? Not sure. It's fuzzy.) I remember sitting next to my wonderful grandparents. Grandpa had doodled on the program. Trees, mountains, rivers, bears, deer. I remember watching the way he held the pen and let it outline the figures. Easily guiding it to create beauty. I sat in awe at how quickly and gracefully he created a landscape. If you asked me who my favorite artist is, my answer would most likely be Ross Davis.



Thinking about him made me think of Lyn. (Well, that or the fact that I was wearing her shoes.) How much I miss her. All my memories of her are from my childhood and early teen years. I wish I could know her and see her through my new "big kid" lenses. But as I was walking through those rooms with handcrafted furniture and original artwork, I felt her smiling down on me. I felt her arms wrap me up into a tight, warm hug. That's special to me.

On the way back, we stopped at the store. And by "we" I mean me, the boy, and the china man.

Side note: the china man=one of the coolest persons I've ever met. We found cool sunglasses and decided to take pictures.

The end.

A lot has happened within the past little while. I'll tell the story after I say this.

I've been thinking lately about the things I post on this blog and why I leave some parts of my life out. A part of me believes that there are certain things in life that are just too personal to share with other people and that those other people might not want to hear that part. I still believe that, but on the other hand I've come to the conclusion that whoever doesn't want to hear it, doesn't have to read. "It", in this context, is defined as everything that goes on in my life that I have something to say about, yet I leave it out of the blog. Main topics that fall under this category are my dating life and my spiritual and church life. So from now on, I Go There. If I feel like writing about those things (or anything else for that matter) I will. If I don't feel like it, I wont. The end. =)

So here is the story. I'm sick. Don't know what it is yet, therefore don't know how to fix it yet. Because of this, teaching in China is being postponed until we know what's going on and I get back on my feet. Making that decision is at the top of my list of hardest things I've ever had to do in my life this far. Right up there next to saying goodbye to Sam. (OH MY GOSH I SAID HIS NAME ON THE INTERNET. =) Hahaha!) Where was I? Oh yeah. China is postponed until future notice. Overall, I'm okay with that. (Although, I'm sure you'll hear me whining about this soon enough.)

School is on hold too. I withdrew from classes yesterday. So, for now, I'm omitting all stress from my life, and focusing on getting healthy. I'm keeping my part-time job. The plan is, as I get better I'll ease into life again. Whether it's China, college, massage therapy school, cello lessons, or Hogwarts. Seriously, the possibilities are endless. And I'm looking at ALL the possibilities. =)

I'm taking this time, not only to heal, but to also:

• enjoy the cherished company of my lovely family
• laugh hysterically with my crazy awesome friends
• learn what it is I was put in this world to do and figure out how to do it
• help out with the high school lacrosse team I started last year (Ran into Coach T today. And by "ran into" I mean that I went to the high school to see her. She doesn't have an assistant coach yet and wants me. I'm thinking, why not? If I'm feeling up to it, it will make me feel like less of a loser. I love lacrosse.)
  
• listen to the music note residing on my heart and do what it tells me to do
• the possibilities are endless... =) any ideas? (That means comment on this post, please.)

I wrote this last night, "Question for thought... Today I did some of the hardest things I've ever had to do, withdrawing from school and deciding to postpone China, so why is it that I'm happier right now than I have been in days? Weeks even?"

Could it be the stress relief? The empowering love and support I've received from family and friends? Actually making progress in some direction instead of just spinning wheels? Gratitude? Hope? I think it's a mixture of all.

Dear Family,

Thank you.

Love, Megan

I am a part of the "Fellowship of the Unashamed."
The die has been cast. I have stepped over the line.
The decision has been made. I am a disciple of
Jesus Christ. I won't look back, let up, slow down,
back away, or be still. My past is redeemed, my present
makes sense, and my future is secure.
I am finished and done with low living, sight walking,
small planning, smooth knees, colorless dreams,
chintzy giving, and dwarfed goals.

I no longer need pre-eminence, prosperity, position,
promotions, plaudits, or popularity. I now live by
presence, lean by faith, love by patience,
lift by prayer, and labor by power. My pace
is set, my gait is fast, my goal is Heaven, my
road is narrow, my way is rough, my companions few,
my Guide reliable, my mission clear. I cannot be bought,
compromised, deterred, lured away, turned back,
diluted, or delayed.

I will not flinch in the face of sacrifice, hesitate in the
presence of adversity, negotiate at the table of the enemy,
ponder at the pool of popularity, or meander
in the maze of mediocrity.

I am a disciple of Jesus Christ. I must go until
Heaven returns, give until I drop, preach until all know,
and work until He comes. And when He comes to get
His own, He will have no problem recognizing me.
My colors will be clear.

I am not ashamed of the gospel. (Romans 1:16)

"The Fellowship of the Unashamed"
Dr. Bob Moorehead


My friend shared this with me the other day. It speaks to me. I am part of the Fellowship of the Unashamed. Simple.

By which I mean the trees. Definitely for the trees.

There is this little grove of trees on campus. I walk past it almost every day. The first week I was here, I remember looking at all the green and hoping that Utah would give me a legitimate Autumn so I could enjoy this. Thanks, Utah.

So I'm a college student. Yep. I go to college. I learn. Lalala. Nothing too special about that.

Things I am happy about right now:

• Pretty sure I'm getting "a little kitty kiiitty". You basically just have to hear me say that.
• I'm enjoying school, and the knowledge I get from it. Like the other day, in my Interpersonal Communications class, we were learning about relationships. There are different kinds you see. Like, I-It (generally consist of strangers, maybe a server. Someone you don't treat like an individual, they are just there), I-You (most of your friends/acquaintances. You recognize them as an individual), and I-Thou (basically your family and best friends, you know their hopes and dreams and they know yours). I had a job interview. The guy treated me like an "It". Well, I didn't appreciate that. So I don't care if they give me the job.
• I'm making many new friends. People from school. People from church. People I like. People who like me. Friends.
• I filled out a Passport Application. I'm not entirely sure where I'm going. Or when. That's why I'm getting a passport now. How about we put a vote on it? When you get the chance go here, here, and here. Pick your favorite and tell me why. And please! Comments mean a lot to me and so does your opinion! Also, if you know of any other programs along these lines, I'm interested!
  
• Took my first test today, I really think I did well. I'll let ya know.
• I have two job interviews this week/next week. Woo!
• I put bed risers on my bed. I feel like a princess.
  

Things I am unhappy about:

• Some friends seem to be disappearing out of my life. Some seem to be popping in every once in a while. Teasing me. They love me, they love me not. Please make up your minds. It's hard not knowing if you'll be around or not.
• I don't get to read as much as I want. I mean novels. Those beautiful stories I hunger for. Last night I was talking to some friends about books and movies. Before this conversation, I considered myself relatively well-read. Ooh-ho-hoh no. I was sadly mistaken. It made me desperately want to sit and read for days. Not so I could catch up to them in their knowledgeable ways. They talked so highly of classics like Moby Dick and Crime and Punishment. Jane Eyre and Persuasion. All books I've wanted to read but just haven't had the time.
• I saw a really big scary spider in my room yesterday. No really. This one was really bad. Like, huge. I'm not exaggerating this time. Ew. I'm unhappy about this because I think he was in the mafia. So he probably has friends. Who are his size. ACK!
  

Things I've been thinking about:

• I have this one friend who seems to read me like a book. I don't even know him that well. Maybe he's just really that perceptive, or maybe I wear my heart on my sleeve but he knows when I'm not myself. Also, every time I talk to him, he says something that is a huge answer to a question bobbing around in my soul. On any other day, if he said what he did, it would be nothing special. Wouldn't think twice about it. But the other day a simple, "You are awesome, thanks for being yourself" was a big deal to me.
• I'm friends with these two people (the ones I was talking books with as I mentioned earlier). They are brother and sister. They have an awesome relationship. I can't really put my finger on what makes their relationship so interesting to me. They're best friends. The word patience comes to mind. It makes me wonder what their childhood was like together. What drew these two siblings together instead of others in their family? Or is their entire this close with each other?
• There's nothing wrong with being yourself. Even if it makes other people unhappy. Especially if it makes other people unhappy. I learned this again. I won't change who I am because someone doesn't like it. What I like, or what I don't. What I do or don't do. What I believe in. And I believe in a lot of things. Possibly a whole post's worth.
• Also, I think it's very fashionable to wear your heart on your sleeve. Maybe you get hurt more but you learn, grow, and become a lot more too.

The end.

Song of the day.
Favorite moments:
"Are your friends really your friends?
Are you still waiting for the end of the day?
Hey, hey, when will you learn to love what's sent from up above?
...
But it's a facade like the sky, like the moon, like your eyes
...
Oh, I wish I had someone.
Who would want you as you are?
What can you give they couldn't get from someone else?
What life of ease, what wedding bells, what pretty stones, what precious wealth?
...
It's called a come on, come on, come on baby
Does your heart echo like a hall
'Cause there's no one there at all"

Do you remember when I wanted a pair of glasses but didn't buy them and regretted it? Let's just say that someone out there loves me. Because these were in a box with my name on them on my doorstep today. There is no way to know who it's from.

Not just the fake glasses but the sunglasses, too.

Yes, people, someone out there does love me. Someone who reads this blog and knows where I live. Someone who wants to make me feel special and loved. Yes, yes, I feel all warm and fuzzy on the inside. All nerdy, and old school on the outside.

Mystery Giver, you made me so happy I actually smiled for the camera. What a concept!

Behind me? On the wall? It says, "I believe in fairies". I do, indeed! I also believe in the greatness of humanity. Oh, Mysterious One! You shouldn't have! But thank you very much anyways.

"Remind me not to go there, the weather affects my knee." - Song of the day.

I've been thinking a lot about a number of things lately. Basically, my life. What am I doing with it?

What kind of girl am I? What kind do I want to be? What kind of woman do I want to become?

What should I study in college? Should I do what is fun? What makes me drool? Or should I be more practical and choose something that will pay well and I can still enjoy?

Will I ever get to explore the world? How will it start? Study abroad? Volunteer? Heck, Peace Corp? I do desire to travel.

Where will I find my balance? I don't want any one thing to tie me down. I want to learn and grow. Love those around me and help them and learn from them. Improve myself to form who I want to be. Who DO I want to be?

I want to be charitable, kind, loving, caring, empathetic, joyful, helpful, adventurous, spontaneous, wise, teachable, athletic, encouraging, strong, lovely, creative, artistic, colorful, perceptive, observant, inspirational, ardent....

These characteristics remind me of someone. An Earth Angel. Most of everything I want to be more like her. She's simply wonderful. But it's much more complex than that. I wish I had gotten the chance to see her through my older, more insightful and ready eyes.

Having said that, I'm thrilled to have other inspirational women influencing my life. Like my moms and three sisters. My aunts and many cousins. Neighbors and friends. Grandma Lucy.

Too many to name. Too many to count.

I went to MAMMA MIA! with my Mamma Mia. I couldn't really stop laughing. And I didn't want to. It was that good. Of course, it doesn't take much to entertain me. I mean, I'm the girl who can tell her favorite joke repeatedly and still think it's the funniest thing ever. What's my favorite joke? I'll tell you.

Me: Okay, okay. Ask me if I'm an orange.
You: Are you an orange?
Me: (Fit of ab working laughter, ferocious shake of the head) No!

Can I live in Greece? I fell in love. The way the sun shined off the water. The aged hotel. Everything was so white. Mixed with blue. Art. Simply Beautiful.

I decided this song will forever be able to put me in a good mood when I'm feeling down. And this one. Oh, boy.

My favorite part about the movie? It started a conversation about music, family, and life lessons that made my heart smile.

Other things I did today:

• Went to a volunteer meeting for this.
• Bought a shirt and a swimsuit.
• Gave my spleen to food poisoning. On a date. The most embarrassing thing that has ever happened to me. And I'm not easily embarrassed.

Song of the day.

• listened to this song (hello, hello. HOLA!)
• looked at pictures
• wished I could fly-for numerous reasons
  
• learned more about this fantastic inspiration
  
• went to Juice Press
• received a "special assignment"
  
• went on a mobile stakeout for sprinklers
• ran through them
  
• giggled with friends
  
• updated my iPod
• giggled some more
• took pictures
• ate two string cheeses... let's make that three
  
• pondered about summer, the love I have for all my friends (including you, yes, you), and music
• wondered what my 20-year-old face will look like
• 30-year-old?
• 40?
• washed it

"Fill your paper with the breathings of your heart." ~William Wordsworth

I think it's TOTALLY AWESOME that his last name is WORDSworth, don't you?

Song of the day. Lyrics.

I love you. I was sitting and just thinking today and I felt the need to let you know how much. A few weeks ago, I tried to put into words how lucky I feel to have MY family. I also wrote, a while before, that we see ourselves differently than other people see us. Well, this is how I see you, Family, whether you care to read this or not.

Mom, you are such a support to me. I love how no matter what, you are behind me, backing me up 100%. I love our conversations. They range from silly things that make us giggle for days to deep, thought-provoking insights and and life principles. Always uplifting. You are so strong in my eyes. A hero. You're my Buffy.

Dad, sometimes you get this look on your face and the only way I know how to describe it is complete joy. I love it. Your face just lights up. Smiles come so naturally for you. I love how we both get a kick out of the little things in life. I love that I inherited your passion for music along with many other things.

Mom (2), I love that I almost refuse to call you my stepmom. (In fact, the only time I use the word "step" is when I have to explain to people the intricate details of who's technically related to who in my family.) I love how we both seem to enjoy the sun more than most things on this planet. I aspire to have your ability to "throw something together" and have it taste as splendidly as Thanksgiving dinner.

Jim, I love your silly sense of humor. Sometimes, Mom and I pretend it gets on our nerves but we secretly love it. I don't think you give yourself enough credit. You work harder than anyone I know. I don't say thank you enough. Thank you. Oh, and thanks again for killing that spider that tried to eat me the other day. It was looking pretty grim before you showed up.

Kenna, I think you know this already, but I look up to you in so many ways. To name a few: your ability to make something beautiful out of a blank Photoshop document, your pictures, your coolness factor in the Mommy department, your sense of humor, your way with words. I love that we're friends.

Steve, I truly enjoy being your little sister that you never really got. I love how excited you get about a game, or a treat, or a movie, or just anything fun. I love how you love my sister.

Carter, I love how easily you laugh. I love how you've always had a gut-busting laugh. I love how you say RAWR. I love how proud you are of yourself for being able to walk now. I'm just as proud. I'm so excited for jumbled noises turn into words and full sentences.

Chris, I love how thoughtful you are. You're just so sweet. I'm so excited for the new additions to our family that we get through you. So so excited.

Austin, I love your little sayings. They usually don't make much sense but I love them. I love how when I hug you, my head fits perfectly just under your shoulder. I love when you pick me up and everything on the ground is so far away that it makes my tummy hurt but then you just make me laugh. And then I don't want to go down, even though it makes me nervous to be so high. I miss you, Austie B.

Mel, I love your bluntness. If something is on your mind, you'll pretty much just say it. I miss when we would go on random crazy adventures, like changing the words on a sign, or doing jumping jacks in our closet. I even miss when you would throw beef jerky at me because I wouldn't turn out the light. But I love you now even more. I love how awesome you are as a Mother. I look up to you and Ken a lot in that department. It makes me excited to have kids of my own someday. I love how we can still talk about whatever all the time.

Rayder, I love getting to watch you every week. We have so much fun. I love when you see food, you realize how hungry you are and reach out your chubby fists to grab the spoon. I love that your favorite toy is a plastic hanger. I love your smile.

Elle, I love how we both think the really silly things are the funniest. And how we can laugh about the same thing over and over again. I love that you look to me for help when you need it. Remember I'm always here for you; I'll always try my best to be a good big sister. You are so talented!

To Cousins, Aunts, Uncles, Grandparents (whether you read this or not), I love you. I look up to you all. I see your strength, compassion, patience, understanding, love, humility, service, and sense of adventure and I look up to you too.

Family, You are shiny stars to me. I aspire to be more like you. I learn more about myself everyday. I'm at a stage in my life when I need to figure out who I am and who I want to become. As I look at you, Family, I want to take all the things I love about each of you and become all those things. I'm so lucky I got you. I'm. So. Lucky. No one could fill the void if any one of you weren't here in my life.

Sorry for filling this blog with so much cheese. I just want you all to know how much I love and appreciate you.

In this constantly changing world, there are things that I will always love:

• Reading something that is so well written, it alters the feeling of my entire day
• Laying in the grass
  
• Ice cream and chocolate
  
• Listening to family members reminisce
• My legs finding the cold spot on the bed
  
• Music
  
• Making somebody smile before they can try to stop it
  
• The way the world feels on summer nights
• The smell and feeling of rain
• Salty food that makes me go "mmm", urgently needing more
  
• Stretching
• The sound of a grand piano (or the feeling of making the sound)
• Acoustic guitars
• Singing
  
• Friends trusting my advice enough to come back for more
• How easy it is to laugh when surrounded by loved ones
• Loved ones

Is there time to breathe now? Can I come out? Is it safe? I've been cooped up in this place of hectic responsibilities for so long it seems. It's dark here and they've locked me up in a small room. Hugging my legs in frantic despair, I sit crouched in the corner, waiting for sunlight and calm.

Oh, world of nothing, how I've missed you! Tomorrow is Friday and we can romp like children at the beach. There will be no schedules or responsibilities and life will be simply stress-free. Oh, beautiful, frivolous Friday! I've been waiting for you! You shine like 70 degrees in January. I thought you'd never come.

Soon, Friday, you will pass. Along with our dear friends Saturday and Sunday. I will be left with cold and lonely weekdays until summer comes and I can once again feel the sun applying blush to my already rosy cheeks. Summer and I can sit in a hammock and read old favorites and lose track of the time. And days. We can adventure like wild beasts, discovering new lives and possibilities along the way.

I wait for you, summer. I anticipate your warmth and freedom. For all those times you've lingered, giving my bare feet warm sidewalks and wet sand, I thank you. The sweetest gift. I wait. Patiently?

"If the day and the night are such that you greet them with joy, and life emits a fragrance like flowers and sweet-scented herbs, is more elastic, more starry, more immortal, -- that is you success. All nature is your congratulation, and you have cause momentarily to bless yourself. The greatest gains and values are farthest from being appreciated. We easily come to doubt if they exist. We soon forget them. They are the highest reality.... The true harvest of my daily life is somewhat as intangible and indescribable as the tints of morning or evening. It is a little star-dust caught, a segment of the rainbow which I have clutched."
~Henry David Thoreau, Walden

Song of the day: "I Feel the Earth Move" by Carole King

I was out running errands today when this astounding view caught me off guard. The flag, the sunset, the overcast, the mountains, even the snow and the cars; they all mixed together in a whirlwind of prodigious respect and gratitude.

Respect for the Prophet of the Church as well as this country. Gratitude for the affect he has had on my life and for the freedom I have in this country to believe in something and the right to practice those beliefs.

Sometimes I forget that not everyone in the world has the same freedoms I do. When I am reminded, it humbles me. I'm proud to be an American where at least I know I'm free.

Let the reason this flag is at half-mast be an inspiration to all. The time truly has come to stand a little taller.