A lot has happened within the past little while. I'll tell the story after I say this.

I've been thinking lately about the things I post on this blog and why I leave some parts of my life out. A part of me believes that there are certain things in life that are just too personal to share with other people and that those other people might not want to hear that part. I still believe that, but on the other hand I've come to the conclusion that whoever doesn't want to hear it, doesn't have to read. "It", in this context, is defined as everything that goes on in my life that I have something to say about, yet I leave it out of the blog. Main topics that fall under this category are my dating life and my spiritual and church life. So from now on, I Go There. If I feel like writing about those things (or anything else for that matter) I will. If I don't feel like it, I wont. The end. =)

So here is the story. I'm sick. Don't know what it is yet, therefore don't know how to fix it yet. Because of this, teaching in China is being postponed until we know what's going on and I get back on my feet. Making that decision is at the top of my list of hardest things I've ever had to do in my life this far. Right up there next to saying goodbye to Sam. (OH MY GOSH I SAID HIS NAME ON THE INTERNET. =) Hahaha!) Where was I? Oh yeah. China is postponed until future notice. Overall, I'm okay with that. (Although, I'm sure you'll hear me whining about this soon enough.)

School is on hold too. I withdrew from classes yesterday. So, for now, I'm omitting all stress from my life, and focusing on getting healthy. I'm keeping my part-time job. The plan is, as I get better I'll ease into life again. Whether it's China, college, massage therapy school, cello lessons, or Hogwarts. Seriously, the possibilities are endless. And I'm looking at ALL the possibilities. =)

I'm taking this time, not only to heal, but to also:

• enjoy the cherished company of my lovely family
• laugh hysterically with my crazy awesome friends
• learn what it is I was put in this world to do and figure out how to do it
• help out with the high school lacrosse team I started last year (Ran into Coach T today. And by "ran into" I mean that I went to the high school to see her. She doesn't have an assistant coach yet and wants me. I'm thinking, why not? If I'm feeling up to it, it will make me feel like less of a loser. I love lacrosse.)
  
• listen to the music note residing on my heart and do what it tells me to do
• the possibilities are endless... =) any ideas? (That means comment on this post, please.)

I wrote this last night, "Question for thought... Today I did some of the hardest things I've ever had to do, withdrawing from school and deciding to postpone China, so why is it that I'm happier right now than I have been in days? Weeks even?"

Could it be the stress relief? The empowering love and support I've received from family and friends? Actually making progress in some direction instead of just spinning wheels? Gratitude? Hope? I think it's a mixture of all.

Dear Family,

Thank you.

Love, Megan

I've been ignoring you, blog. I'm sorry. I'll try to stop. It's not that I haven't had any blog worthy experiences, thoughts, or words. I have. I really have. Lots of them too. Like the Jon Schmidt concert I went to. And the seasons changing. And music. And books. And adventures. And WOTD. And questions. And learns. Believe me when I say this: It's not you, it's me.

I've learned a few things while I've avoided posting:

1. College is hard.
2. Working at a restaurant and going to school full-time... is hard.
3. When you are doing numbers 1 and 2, it's not smart to sit at home and play music during your free time like you want to. (Unless, of course, music is your major. Which I have to admit... that sounds really good right now. Reallly good.)
4. All these things will wear you out. And if you're not careful, you'll get sick.
5. And tired.
6. And you won't be able to sleep.
7. And when you do sleep, you'll find it very hard to wake up.
8. And you'll get sick.
   

My sisters cracked jokes the other day when I told them I might quit my job and take a job at a new bookstore that's opening next week. It was funny. Well, I took the job. Because the restaurant? Might just maybe possibly a little bit sorta be the cause of numbers 4-7. Maybe.

Okay, it totally is. And just the thought of a less stressful job is helping me come out of my cave. Because I've been hibernating. If you've seen me within the past couple weeks, I wasn't really conscious. I was sleep walking.

Concerning China:

• Fuqing is indeed pronounced Fuching.
• The ILP program is new to the school at which I will be teaching. Which means that I'm the first impression. And most likely, these kids don't know a lick of English. Exciting! Daunting!
  
• I'm not excited for the medical forms I need to fill out.
• I want your opinion on something, dear blog. They say that the teachers in the program get a lot of downtime. One girl said that when she went to China, she read 17 books. SEVENTEEN. That makes me drool. But I have a problem, I wont have room in my luggage to pack SEVENTEEN books. Plus, what if I don't get to all SEVENTEEN? What if I finish all of them and get bored? So, I'm looking into electronic book readers. I also think that this would be cheaper than buying every book I want to read and bringing it with me. I like this one and this one. I'm going to try to get a deal on eBay, so let me know what you think! Also, if you know of any other models that are good, I'm interested.

I promise to not be gone so long this time.

I'm sick. I only went to school for one class. I drove my mom's car because I asked a boy to a dance and in reply he decided you saran wrap my car. (The answer was "Yes" if you were wondering.)

Because I drove Mom's car, I had to park in visitor parking so I wouldn't get a ticket. After my class, as I was putting the key in the lock to get in the car, I heard a little honk to my right. Ed, the school's parking attendant, was shaking his pointer finger at me. Shame on me. I awaited the wrath as he waddled up to me.

"You can't park there."
"This is my mom's car. I didn't know where else to park because I don't have a sticker for it."
"You can't park there."
"I'm leaving ; does it really matter now?"
"How long have you been here?"
"Just third period."
(Shaking his head.) "No. You can't park here."
(Hysterical now, with tears welling up in my eyes.)
"I don't understand what I've done wrong! I'm sorry! I'm sick, and tired, and I just want to go home! I only came for ONE CLASS! There are PLENTY of other parking spots here! PLEASE, just let me go home!"
(Before I finished.)"Oh. Oh. Okay, okay. You go home. Just go home."
"Thank you."

And then I opened the door on my face. Sobbing, I slammed it hard and backed out of my spot quickly. I was temped to wave the Satan finger at him as I drove away. I resisted. Dang Nazi.