I love you. I was sitting and just thinking today and I felt the need to let you know how much. A few weeks ago, I tried to put into words how lucky I feel to have MY family. I also wrote, a while before, that we see ourselves differently than other people see us. Well, this is how I see you, Family, whether you care to read this or not.

Mom, you are such a support to me. I love how no matter what, you are behind me, backing me up 100%. I love our conversations. They range from silly things that make us giggle for days to deep, thought-provoking insights and and life principles. Always uplifting. You are so strong in my eyes. A hero. You're my Buffy.

Dad, sometimes you get this look on your face and the only way I know how to describe it is complete joy. I love it. Your face just lights up. Smiles come so naturally for you. I love how we both get a kick out of the little things in life. I love that I inherited your passion for music along with many other things.

Mom (2), I love that I almost refuse to call you my stepmom. (In fact, the only time I use the word "step" is when I have to explain to people the intricate details of who's technically related to who in my family.) I love how we both seem to enjoy the sun more than most things on this planet. I aspire to have your ability to "throw something together" and have it taste as splendidly as Thanksgiving dinner.

Jim, I love your silly sense of humor. Sometimes, Mom and I pretend it gets on our nerves but we secretly love it. I don't think you give yourself enough credit. You work harder than anyone I know. I don't say thank you enough. Thank you. Oh, and thanks again for killing that spider that tried to eat me the other day. It was looking pretty grim before you showed up.

Kenna, I think you know this already, but I look up to you in so many ways. To name a few: your ability to make something beautiful out of a blank Photoshop document, your pictures, your coolness factor in the Mommy department, your sense of humor, your way with words. I love that we're friends.

Steve, I truly enjoy being your little sister that you never really got. I love how excited you get about a game, or a treat, or a movie, or just anything fun. I love how you love my sister.

Carter, I love how easily you laugh. I love how you've always had a gut-busting laugh. I love how you say RAWR. I love how proud you are of yourself for being able to walk now. I'm just as proud. I'm so excited for jumbled noises turn into words and full sentences.

Chris, I love how thoughtful you are. You're just so sweet. I'm so excited for the new additions to our family that we get through you. So so excited.

Austin, I love your little sayings. They usually don't make much sense but I love them. I love how when I hug you, my head fits perfectly just under your shoulder. I love when you pick me up and everything on the ground is so far away that it makes my tummy hurt but then you just make me laugh. And then I don't want to go down, even though it makes me nervous to be so high. I miss you, Austie B.

Mel, I love your bluntness. If something is on your mind, you'll pretty much just say it. I miss when we would go on random crazy adventures, like changing the words on a sign, or doing jumping jacks in our closet. I even miss when you would throw beef jerky at me because I wouldn't turn out the light. But I love you now even more. I love how awesome you are as a Mother. I look up to you and Ken a lot in that department. It makes me excited to have kids of my own someday. I love how we can still talk about whatever all the time.

Rayder, I love getting to watch you every week. We have so much fun. I love when you see food, you realize how hungry you are and reach out your chubby fists to grab the spoon. I love that your favorite toy is a plastic hanger. I love your smile.

Elle, I love how we both think the really silly things are the funniest. And how we can laugh about the same thing over and over again. I love that you look to me for help when you need it. Remember I'm always here for you; I'll always try my best to be a good big sister. You are so talented!

To Cousins, Aunts, Uncles, Grandparents (whether you read this or not), I love you. I look up to you all. I see your strength, compassion, patience, understanding, love, humility, service, and sense of adventure and I look up to you too.

Family, You are shiny stars to me. I aspire to be more like you. I learn more about myself everyday. I'm at a stage in my life when I need to figure out who I am and who I want to become. As I look at you, Family, I want to take all the things I love about each of you and become all those things. I'm so lucky I got you. I'm. So. Lucky. No one could fill the void if any one of you weren't here in my life.

Sorry for filling this blog with so much cheese. I just want you all to know how much I love and appreciate you.

I think the one and only good reason for waking up at the unholy hour of FOUR! A!M! is the sunrise. As we were driving to the airport, the smallest hint of yellow was peering through the lowest valley of the mountain, making me want more. I thought, If I could just jump high enough to peek over the mountain, I would see that huge ball of fire. I imagined that if I stood at the highest peak, I could look down the other side of the mountain and jump. Land on the sun. Ride it up into full daytime. Big, yellow, bouncy ball.

GandG picked us up at the airport and drove us home. Gma told me all about her station and horses and fields and ponds as we drove by them. You see, other people take care of them and she just enjoys them as she drives by. She doesn't have to own them. As long as she gets to enjoy them, they're hers. Of course.

We toured their new house, which is beautiful. Kim came over for a bit to visit. So did Carolyn. Then we toured Carolyn's new house (which is just down the street). Carolyn is so awesome. She has forever mirrors, and a Garfield blanket, and a hoo-la-hoop that goes behind her couch. I imagine she breaks it out rainy days to beat her latest record. Who knows.

These are along the sidewalk leading up to Carolyn's front door.

I love them.

They make me think, "Okay, I think I will."

For some reason when we went to bed, I couldn't sleep. Then there was lightning. No rain. No thunder. Just lightning. I asked Cha Cha if it was possible. They said that supposedly it is, although lightning is formed by water droplets rubbing together so there would have to be humidity and clouds. Makes sense to me. I mean, I feel like I'm drowning every time I step outside. Rad. I pondered for some time on how cool it was. Then the rain and thunder came to sing me to sleep.

Song of the day.

Today was fantastic. Running on next to zero juice is fun.

It started with many paralyzing laughs with a sidekick whose friendship I truly cherish. Laughing is something we do a lot.

As the day progressed, my warm thoughts of an inspiration were interrupted with a fresh load of work from a teacher who I have concluded resembles a certain professor, as described in the novel, in both appearance and personality (although not quite as evil. Thankfully. However, I do wish she would be carried off into the forest by angry centaurs) .

The afternoon brought me a trip down Memory Lane, new insights, and a delicious snack. The evening was filled with several observances, remembering a leader, a little more bounce in my step, and enjoying small things. The snow storm didn't bring me down. Which is a first in a very long time.

Today would appear to be just a day to the naked eye. To me it was so much more. Today, I stopped to smell the roses. And let me tell you, they smelled so sweet. So sweet that I vivaciously marched right up to the Creator of this beautiful day and asked Him if I could please pick a rose to take home with me.

He said yes.