comment if you see this.

Two things of importance to mention in this post.

1. My sister took our engagement pictures the other day. It seems quick but it's kind of one of those things we needed to do with Kendall here and not in Texas.
   
   Click here to see them!
   
   She did an incredible job and I couldn't be more IN LOVE with these photos. I've watched the video about 100 times. In fact, I'm watching it as I type this. WEEEEEE!
   
   
   
2. I might start ignoring this blog because I started another one with Kendall. Link. There's not much to it now but the plan is to have it be a way for family and friends to keep up on what's going on with both of us. With wedding info and just whatever comes up. So please refer to that one as well if you want to see cool stuff.

Phew! Done. Any questions? That seemed like a lot of information to me but now I realize that it kind of wasn't. Anyways. Tell me what you think of the pictures? What are your favorites?

We were supposed to be going to Mel's to play some beans. But I guess he couldn't wait any longer.

I started to get suspicious when he took a different route than usual and when he missed the last turn to my sister's I knew something was up. I asked him where we were going. With a goofy smile he said, "I don't know! I really meant to turn left there." Then he turned right. Towards the temple.

My heart sunk. And I got all nervous. I didn't say another word, but I put a playlist of some of our favorite songs on the stereo. We smiled at each other, both knowing exactly what was about to happen.

We got out of his truck and before I knew it, he had gotten down on one knee and asked me to marry him.

It wasn't extravagant or sappy. But that's not really our style after all.

There's a lot to do before he leaves to Texas for a summer job. He'll be back in August. We're thinking September 19. I'm already making lists of to-dos and searching magazines and websites for wedding plans. And I couldn't be more thrilled.

Expect future posts to be filled with wedding stuff.

It was such an adventure. I really needed it. I have a lot of great stories from it. Should I tell you some?

We drove a lot. Stopped in Vegas for a while. When we got to California, we checked into our hotel and decided we would race the sun to the beach. It didn't work. We couldn't find it? We used a GPS system to get around (for some reason the GPS nickname is Gina?) and she got us lost. But it was cool. When ever she would hassle us for taking a wrong turn, we replied in unison with, "Shut up, Gina!" We just ate some In & Out and called it a night.

The next morning we tried to get last minute tickets to Ellen DeGeneres. No luck. I was pretty sad. (Next time, next time.) We went to Hollywood (I'll tell you right now, that place is a JOKE. Like Las Vegas except less strippers and more lame.) where Caley SWEARS she saw Nicole Richie walking down the street. (She didn't.)

We also saw the LA temple. Which is MASSIVE.

Cool nature.

Then? Then we went to the beach. And my passionate love affair with the ocean was awakened. I love it there. Everyone loves the ocean. Why? I'm still trying to figure that out. But I know why I love the ocean.

So we were driving. Saw these. On the beach. Pulled over.

It's because it makes me feel good. It's peaceful. And happy. And it plays with all my senses. And whales live in it. Also, sea turtles and sharks and fishies and and... dolphins and... cool stuff. I want to see a whale someday. I'm still totally obsessed with them. It makes no sense.

I'm afraid of seagulls. I'll tell you why. When I was in grade school we went on a field trip and stopped at a park for lunch. I was terrorized by seagulls. They ate my lunch and pooped on me. It was horrifying and scarring. Can't say I ever really got over it. Caley peer pressured me into facing my fears. The result? Well, I'll let you watch for yourselves. In my defense, THEY WERE GOING TO EAT ME. I title this video "Megan vs. Satan Seagulls". Enjoy.



Caley wanted to go to Hearst Castle. And me? Well, I didn't care because I had no idea what it was or why it was supposed to be cool. So we went there but missed the last tour of the day. I was glad because I didn't want to pay 20 bucks just to walk around some rich guys house. Caley wanted to take a look around the gift store and learn more so I looked at books about whales and elephant seals. The following conversation we had is sure to bring a smile.

Caley: Holy crap, Meg. This castle is huge. It's ridiculous that he felt the need to build something this crazy.
Megan: Well, maybe he had a big family. Gotta put 'em all somewhere, right?
C: He didn't have any family.
M: How do YOU know?
C: Megan, do you even know who William Hearst is?
M: William Hearst... Wait a sec. WILLIAM HEARST? As in, Pulitzer and Hearst?
C: Yes. I thought you knew that.
M: As in, "Pulitzer and Hearst they think they got us, do they got us? No!"?
C: Duh.
M: We need to leave... NOW.
C: Why?
M: We're ENCOURAGING him.
C: He's dead!
M: He still knows we're here! He's probably watching all these people paying money to look at his stuff and cackling at his evil success. (Shaking my fist at the ceiling) Not me, Hearst! Not me! (To Caley) Don't even think about buying that book!

Side note: Yes, I realize that I formed an opinion about this man purely on a 1992 Disney movie. A musical no less. I'm totally okay with that.

Then we went to San Francisco. Where we saw more seals. AWESOME. And looked around, shopped at the pier and China Town and Ghirardelli square. We saw many great things.

This is China Town.

BABY BUM!

There was a bum playing his guitar and singing things like "My name's Eddie, wanna go steady? Gimme a penny so I can buy me some spaghetti!" or "My name's Joe, gimme some dough!" It made me laugh really loud. Caley wasn't very amused. Not sure why. Maybe I'm just easily entertained. I love people.

Oakland.

That's about it. The drive home was long but we entertained ourselves.

I went to the Draper Temple Open House yesterday.

We drove around it a few times to take some pictures.

What shade of blue would you say the sky was? My opinion: Glorious Blue. Coming soon to a Crayola box near you. (ha?)

Seriously, the weather lately has been splendid. As long as the sun is out, I'm happy.


I was so excited to see it. I can't even describe it. It was breathtakingly beautiful. If you're in the area, I suggest going to see it.


In certain rooms there are hand painted murals on the walls. They reminded me of Grandpa Ross. Made me think of some of his paintings I've seen. Which sent me into a whirlwind of thoughts and memories. I have a memory of going to church with Gpa Ross and Gma Lyn. (Maybe a cousin's mission farewell/homecoming? Not sure. It's fuzzy.) I remember sitting next to my wonderful grandparents. Grandpa had doodled on the program. Trees, mountains, rivers, bears, deer. I remember watching the way he held the pen and let it outline the figures. Easily guiding it to create beauty. I sat in awe at how quickly and gracefully he created a landscape. If you asked me who my favorite artist is, my answer would most likely be Ross Davis.



Thinking about him made me think of Lyn. (Well, that or the fact that I was wearing her shoes.) How much I miss her. All my memories of her are from my childhood and early teen years. I wish I could know her and see her through my new "big kid" lenses. But as I was walking through those rooms with handcrafted furniture and original artwork, I felt her smiling down on me. I felt her arms wrap me up into a tight, warm hug. That's special to me.

On the way back, we stopped at the store. And by "we" I mean me, the boy, and the china man.

Side note: the china man=one of the coolest persons I've ever met. We found cool sunglasses and decided to take pictures.

The end.

Spinners. On a minivan.

Does this, or does this not, bright happiness to your soul?

Also known as Tim Tams. A Tim Tam is an Australian chocolate biscuit. Being as this is quite possibly your first experience with this wonderful treat, I think it's only fitting that I tell you my first experience. You see, me and Tim Tams? We go way back. Not really. We only met just months ago but it seems like it's been ages. Let's see, where to begin?

I suppose it starts with that cute boy from up the street. He had just returned from living in Australia for approximately 2 years (heh heh), and he decided to ask ME out on a DATE. I was surprised, but accepted the invitation without hesitation. The evening was quite enjoyable, filled with tasty food and pleasant conversation, ending with the viewing of one of my favorite movies along with much laughter and fun. But I digress.

Or, at least I thought the evening was ending. Little did I know that the tastiest part of the evening was just around the corner.

After the movie ended, this boy anounced that there was one last part of the date. We all made our way into the kitchen and he reached into the freezer and pulled out a package. It looked a lot like this:

He also pulled out some Milo and mugs. He announced that we would be having a Tim Tam Slam. Now, before I get ahead of myself, let's take a closer look at something here.

That's right, my friends. It says, "The most irresistible chocolate biscuit". And as you can see in this picture, there is great truth in that statement.

Moving on. A Tim Tam Slam goes a little something like this. Take a biscuit and nibble off opposite corners. Dip the Tim Tam into a steaming mug of Milo, place your lips on one corning and suck out the chocolate center like a straw. A fairly adequate demonstration can be found here.

And there you have it. The most glorious culinary creation since cheese. Why post about Tim Tams, you ask? I'll tell you why. Because I got my very own package of Tim Tams for V-day, that's why. I'm a lucky girl.

Have you ever had one before?


P.S. Some awesomeness to share with you.

First, oh my goodness.

Second, Rainn Wilson loves me. He told me about this. "I'm her mom... no she's not..." But I think the end is my favorite. "I have to go potty!!! Zoom down to his feet... PSSSSSSSSSS."

Okay. So my next post is going to have pictures but I have to go buy some AA batteries because that's what my camera takes and I can't put the pictures on my computer without batteries. And I'm really excited about this next post, by the way. But for now the random will continue and then the insanity might finally be gone. I think it's just a bunch of really random thoughts that I need to get OUT. Because sometimes my brain just keeps going and going until there's all these really funny things. OVERLOAD! Here it is. (I mean, at least I think I'm funny. Do you? Maybe I'm the only one. Oh well.)

• I am SICK of Peter Breinholt's voice. It's nothing personal. I really do still love you, Peter. Truly. But we have these CD's at my work with some of your songs. They're great and everything, but when you listen to said CD's over and over and ov... you get the idea. When you listen to too much of a good thing, the magic is diminished. But don't worry. Long Way to Run will always be a favorite in it's genre.
• You know it's bad when auto-drive almost (ALMOST.) takes you to your boyfriends house. Not that it did. I'm just saying. Okay, it almost took me there. It really wasn't that bad. I didn't even make a single wrong turn. I just had a small urge to turn right instead of left. See? That's it. Not bad.
• I really actually enjoy doing laundry and cleaning and cooking. But I forget that I like it. Actually, I don't really forget it. I remind myself. I say, Self. You need to do your laundry. Remember last time you did it and it was fun? You turned on music and sorted out your thoughts along with your socks. Remember that? And I reply, NO. Okay, fine, I do. But I'd rather stalk people on facebook. (Gruesome cycle, people.)
  
• Last night I couldn't sleep. So as I was waiting for utter exhaustion to take over, I surfed the net. I think I subscribed to about 10 blogs and twitter feeds. I found this blog and fell in love. I think she's hilarious. (If you're reading this, Gretchen, please don't think I'm a creeper.) Anyway, I subscribed to her blog and twitter in the middle of the night. And when I got up this morning I was like, Wha? Who's that? and then I read some of it and it was just as cool as I thought it was at 2 AM. What's my point?... OH. Right. Basically she's really cool. She gets like 20 comments on some of her posts. I think there's even some with 30+. Rad. Also, celebrities follow her twitter. Like Matisyahu and Tina Fey and like such as.
• I think it's all gone now. I'm going to the store to buy AA batteries and food. And then I'll go to lacrosse. So the next post probably won't be till a little later. But it will be awesome. Oh, and donuts! I can't forget that I need to get donuts.
  

I'm a slacker. Trying to do better. I have multiple things to post. All really random. This post could be long. Maybe I'll make several.

Side note: Remember when I decided that all my post titles would be a line from a song? I changed my mind. I'll do it when I feel like it. I also decided that I'll do a word of the day when I feel like it. But I do really want to do the picture thing. And now the randomness can begin.

The script of a text conversation that I had when I was a junior in high school with a male classmate has been bouncing around my head lately. No idea why. But maybe posting it will get it out of my system. Plus it might convince you of how hilarious I am.

Guy: Hey, wanna make-out?
Me: How much are you gonna pay me?
Guy: Uh... nothing? What do you mean?
Me: Well, if you're asking me to act like a whore, I may as well live up to the title and get some money out of it.
Guy: (Silence.)

He never attempted to contact me again. And, people, I promise you I'm not making that conversation up. I distinctly remember it. Not like some of the conversations that I make up in my mind.

Like, this morning, when Mel came to get Rayder and woke me up to say goodbye. This is how my mind thinks the conversation went:

Mel: Your room is kinda dirty.
Me: I know. It wasn't like this before.
Mel: Before what?
Me: Before it was dirty.

Here's how it really went:

Mel: Your room is kinda dirty.
Me: I know. Sorry.

Or like the times when I think of something awesome to say about 10 minutes after the fact. Like Saturday, when I saw the boy's parents at Macey's. His dad just happened to be on the phone with him. Here's how the conversation went:

The dad (on the phone as he walks up to me): Okay, Son. I just want one more thing before you go. Just tell me you love me. (Puts the phone up to my ear.)
Boy: Haha, okay. I love you, Dad.
Me: Hi, Kendall!

This is how I thought it should have gone moments later:

Boy: Haha, okay. I love you, Dad.
Me: Love you too, Son.

So, you see, I'm hilarious but only when I have time to think of something awesome to say.

Stay tuned for more awesomeness.

I read parts of my journal today. I like it. I don't have to think about anyting before I write it. It's just my brain on paper. It helps me take a thought and turn it into something concrete. Make words out of feelings.

I wrote this in January:

A lot is on my mind. Mostly right now I am grateful for... a lot of things.
The biggest of which at this point is that my parents taught me to
look at a person't character and not their outward appearance or race. I was at
institute tonight and we started talking about racism and judgement. Equality.
The teacher was stressing how important equality is. The idea that we should
not judge people before we know them. You can learn to love anyone. I sat
in class thinking, This is nothing new to me. I've known this my whole life. Why
is he teaching this like it's a new concept? It frustrates me to realize that
not everyone gets it. Not everyone gets that everyone should be treated with
equal amounts of respect.

I think I get shy when things really start to matter. Maybe I don't express
my opinion enough. I fear hurting or disappointing others. Speaking ill of
another without the intent of gossip or catty words. So I just keep my mouth
shut. Maybe I should still speak up more often. I'll make that a goal. Oh wait,
it already was.

I've got this wonderful guy in my life. He's delightful. Adorable. Treats
me so well. After such a short time, he already knows me pretty well. Not only
my likes/dislikes, my personality, but he knows how to cheer me up. The other
day I was feeling down. He noticed. He felt my pain. He plugged his iPod into
the car stereo, put on some upbeat music and danced and sang with me. I think it
was Kelly Clarkson.

I wanted to post this mostly for the first paragraph. It was so frustrating to me that the man teaching the class had to learn about equality as an adult with a slap in the face. Through experience. Had to break though his old habits of thinking, "He/She is black" and learn that IT DOESN'T MATTER. Had to learn that every person in this world is just that. A PERSON. It doesn't matter what they look like. It matters who they are and what they do with their life. I'm so glad I didn't have to learn that lesson by a slap in the face. It has been taught to me since before I can remember. Equality is as second nature to me as walking or singing. So, thanks. I hope I can do as great a job of teaching my own kids about equality.

Title song. "You're a miracle to me."

I got tagged forever ago. Twice. Here's both.

Eight Things I'm Looking Forward To:

1. This lacrosse season. I'm coaching. It starts this week and I can already tell that this will be THE season. So excited!
   


2. Escaping to warm weather! (I'll tell you later.)
   


3. Brother wedding.
   


4. Sister wedding.
   


5. Finishing this post.
   


6. Finishing all seven books I'm in the process of reading.
   


7. Sunshine.
   


8. Learning.

Eight Things on My Wish List:

1. A hair appointment.
   


2. A trip to the used book store. Those are my favorite kinds of books.
   


3. Higher quality CTR ring.
   


4. A bag that doesn't make me angry.
   


5. A nose that isn't stuffy.
   


6. A whistle for lacrosse.
   


7. More time.
   


8. To play with my nephews.
   

Eight TV Shows I Like to Watch:

1. The Office.
   


2. American Idol.

Eight Things that Happened Yesterday:

1. Went to work.
   


2. Went to lacrosse.
   


3. Planned my little escape to warmer weather.
   


4. Ate a lot of Swedesh Fish with Caley.
   


5. Ate ice cream with Kendall.
   


6. Cleaned my room.
   


7. Went to sleep.
   

Eight People Who Now Have to Do This Silly Tag:

1. You.
   

Tag number two:

Answer each question with only one word.

Where is your cell phone? Counter

Your significant other? Happy

Your hair color? Gross

Your mother? Two

Your father? Silly

Your favorite thing? Smiles

Your dream last night? Wedding (NOT MINE.)

Your favorite drink? Juice

Your dream/goal? Simplicity

What room are you in? Store

Your fear? Failure

Where do you want to be in 6 years? Happy

Where were you last night? Everywhere

Something that you aren't? Boring

Muffins? Yes

Wish list item? Hair

Where you grew up? Here

Last thing you did? Breathe

What are you wearing? Hoodie

Something you're not wearing? Make-up

Your TV? Black?

Your pets? Fat

Your friends? Laugh

Your computer? Slow

Your life? Adventure

Your mood? Childlike

Missing someone? Maybe

Your car? Outside

Favorite store? Old

Your summer? Perfect

Your favorite color? Yellow

When is the last time you laughed? Now

Last time you cried? Wednesday

A place you go over and over? Works

Emails you regularly? Facebook?

Favorite place to eat? All

A place you would rather be right now? Any

Plans for the weekend? Boy?

Who will respond to this? Dunno

Title Song.

Today was supposed to be a good day. It was for a while. Then I started thinking.

When I graduated high school I had plans. Go to college, move out, see the world.

I dropped out of college. I didn't move out. I'm not seeing the world.

All these things I have been fine with so far. I actually enjoy telling people I'm a college dropout. I usually get a high-five.

Everything I've tried to accomplish since high school graduation has pretty much blown up in my face.

It was all beyond my control. But I still feel like a failure.

Can't help it.

On a brighter side, there's this guy who likes me even though I can't seem to do anything right. Makes me really happy. Also, SCARES THE CRAP OUT OF ME.

Song

I feel better now.

I feel the want to post something here. Just don't know what to say. Maybe I'll throw some pictures in. Life is good. Wonderful and spectacular. Any questions? Anything you wish I would write about? I'm drawing a blank. Open for ideas.

I want to start the word of the day again. I miss that. And I want to start taking more pictures. So I'm going to post a picture at least every week. Whatever I feel like. Also, I hereby decree that every post from here on out will be a line from a song. Probably one that's stuck in my head or that I'm currently listening to. If I start slacking with any of these, I give you full permission to hassle me about my laziness.

Now I'm going to go eat some cheese.


P.S. His name is Kendall.
























What do you think?

I feel like the last post was way too pessimistic. That's not me at all. And it's not how I wanted it to sound. I'm very happy with my life and where I am right now. Sure, I'm very disappointed about my plans that didn't work out, but I'm enjoying every minute of life.

A while ago, one of my friends said something that stuck with me. I can't remember exactly what it was but the basic message was Life is hard and there are so many ups and downs. Enjoy every single moment. Some moments will be overwhelmingly joyful, cherish them. Other moments will be horribly depressing and heart-breaking. Cherish those moments too. It's all part of the ride. It's all part of life. Carpe Diem.

I try to live by that. I think the other night when I wrote that last post was a moment of sadness. I cherished it.

It's time now to follow a different dream. I realize that. My problem is figuring out what my other dreams are. I've been focused on two big ones (seeing the world and teaching kids) for so long, I've forgotten other dreams.

What are they?

There's music and lacrosse. Lacrosse is a dream I'm following. I'll be assistant coach of my high school team this spring. Music is a scary one for me. I put a lot of emotion into music. When I play a piece on the piano, I put my soul into it. Expressive. Performing is always so stressful. I'm putting myself out there for anyone listening to judge. Creating music along with performing what I created is very scary to me.

This is all just scrambled thoughts in my head. I guess now I get to figure out what my other dreams are. Things I want to do.

I want to master a foreign language and use it often. I want to learn how to longboard. I want to learn a new instrument. I want to learn about photography and take pictures that speak louder than words. I want to create something worthy of being called art. I want to go on a spur-of-the-moment adventure to a city I've never been to. I want to read more books and poetry. I want to learn what it's like to live away from home. I want to learn how to cook and bake bread. I want to learn a skill or ability that I enjoy and will enable me to have a career that will support financially.

The list goes on. A common theme to my wants is learn. Okay, so I want to learn. Now where do I start?

I think the word "heal" really means to do absolutely nothing and watch while everyone else follows their dreams.

Since I decided to stay home from China, I have been doing better than I expected. Pretty great actually. My family is so supportive and patient through all this. My friends are fantastic. And this guy who randomly popped into my life has done wonders for my mood. Haze all you want, he's becoming my best friend.

Today it hit me. I'm not going to China in February. I'm not going to school either. I'm just here. I work about twice a week. And the rest of the time I'm contemplating what I'm going to do with my life. And not just for the spring semester. What am I going to do with my LIFE? If I do decide to go back to school, what on earth am I going to study? Because school seems really pointless if I don't have a goal. An end result as motivation. A class that I actually enjoy.

I'm not only completely in the dark about my future; I'm pissed.

Because I was going to teach children in China. I can't express how badly I wanted to do that. I was going to teach them and fall in love with them. I was going to miss home, yes, but I was going to follow my dreams.

I was going to cry when I left to come back home because of all the wonderful discoveries, friends, and memories I had made. I was going to cherish my semester in China for the rest of my life. I was going to tell everyone about the people I met and the things I learned about the world and myself.

I was going to tell my children about it. And maybe I would have sparked a sense of adventure in them as well. And they would think, "Wow. I can't believe Mom really did all of that. She's so cool. I want to be like her someday. I want to travel the world too. I bet she'd even come with me if I asked her." Future children, I would. I so would! In a heartbeat, I would be on a plane with you wherever you wanted to go. You would lead the way and we would discover this beautiful world together. On your terms. In your own way.

I was going to go to China. I was going to submerge myself in a new everything. I was going to teach those kids. And play with them. Laugh with them. Sing songs with them. Learn from them.

I was going to stand on The Great Wall of China. I was going to stand there, stretch my arms out, close my eyes, and remember that moment when I was 9 and I learned about The Great Wall in school and I thought to myself, "I want to go there. I want to go there so badly." I was going to remember that moment when China felt so out of reach. That moment when I was small and the world was big and there was no way I could find a way to get there. Not in a million years. I would remember that moment and think, "The world is big. I am small. But I can do big things anyways."

I was going to check something off my life list.

I was going to be the girl who actually followed her dreams. The girl who didn't just talk about traveling the world and learning new things everyday, but actually did it.

I was going to do all those things and more. And now (pardon the pessimism) I'm living at home in Happy Valley with crushed dreams and nothing to do while watching all my friends go to school to follow their own dreams. Why? Because I'm healing. From mono and TMJ. Seriously? Mono and TMJ? That stopped me? It really ticks me off that this is what's stopping me from following my dreams. It hardly sounds like something that would stop someone who has dreams this big.

The funny part? Even after laying out all my unattainable dreams in the open, I don't regret dreaming big. Not even a little bit. Not even at all. Not even for a moment.

Ask me why. Go on, ask.

Because I still believe that dreams come true. I'm still going to follow mine. I believe that this setback, this challenge of great interest, is going to make living my dream that much sweeter. I believe there is a reason for everything. A reason for all of this.

I despise the facebook.

There was a rebroadcast of the Opening Ceremonies of the Beijing Olympics 2008 on Saturday. I watched some of it and was reminded of the answer to the questions people would ask me frequently.

"Why China? Why teach?"

These questions would send me into a whirlwind of thought and reflection. I would be tempted to return those questions with some of my own.

Is it possible to watch those performances and not be inspired?

Is it possible to learn about the symbolism in a seemingly simple Chinese character and not find universal truths?

Is it possible to see the innocent and sincere smile on a child's face and not feel a little warmth in your heart as well?

Is it possible to learn of the history and culture of these people and not stand in awe?

I'm fascinated with the people, language, culture, place. I'm curious about it all. I want to learn more, more, more.

Now, I'm often asked whether I'll be going to China after I heal or if it's out completely. I realize that anything can happen between now and when I'm back to full health. I realize that at any given moment, something could change my mind. But for now, I still want to go. And I know that someday I will. That's enough for me right now.

Since my last post I...

• went to a specialist who took blood from my body and later told me I have mono.
• went to another specialist who told me I also have TMJ. I now have a splint/retainer/thing that I wear when I sleep and a few hours during the day. It's supposed to fix everything. People make fun of me.
  
• played lots of beans. Lost every game but I'm still obsessed with it!
  
• went on a date.
  
• set my best friend up with her potential future boyfriend. Just call me Emma.
  
• got into a war with these. And won. Which, in fact, was the same night as the two previous bullets.
  
• went to Taco Tuesday with the guys I've been hanging around lately to fill the void of my friends on missions. But don't worry, I'm not using them. They do more than fill the void, we have lots o fun. If anything, they use me so they can say they actually got a girl to come this week. Yep, they really said that.
  
• simply ha-ad a wonderful Christmas time!

That's pretty much it. I met a Chinese guy today. Long story short, he was my friends mission companion and he will be attending UVU. Pretty much awesome. I took a few moments to be sad about my China plans falling through. If anything, my desire to go to China has increased. It was really cool to talk to him. I wish I could speak Chinese. It's a beautiful language.

Right now I'm waiting for a night of fun to begin with some friends. I predict laughing.

A lot has happened within the past little while. I'll tell the story after I say this.

I've been thinking lately about the things I post on this blog and why I leave some parts of my life out. A part of me believes that there are certain things in life that are just too personal to share with other people and that those other people might not want to hear that part. I still believe that, but on the other hand I've come to the conclusion that whoever doesn't want to hear it, doesn't have to read. "It", in this context, is defined as everything that goes on in my life that I have something to say about, yet I leave it out of the blog. Main topics that fall under this category are my dating life and my spiritual and church life. So from now on, I Go There. If I feel like writing about those things (or anything else for that matter) I will. If I don't feel like it, I wont. The end. =)

So here is the story. I'm sick. Don't know what it is yet, therefore don't know how to fix it yet. Because of this, teaching in China is being postponed until we know what's going on and I get back on my feet. Making that decision is at the top of my list of hardest things I've ever had to do in my life this far. Right up there next to saying goodbye to Sam. (OH MY GOSH I SAID HIS NAME ON THE INTERNET. =) Hahaha!) Where was I? Oh yeah. China is postponed until future notice. Overall, I'm okay with that. (Although, I'm sure you'll hear me whining about this soon enough.)

School is on hold too. I withdrew from classes yesterday. So, for now, I'm omitting all stress from my life, and focusing on getting healthy. I'm keeping my part-time job. The plan is, as I get better I'll ease into life again. Whether it's China, college, massage therapy school, cello lessons, or Hogwarts. Seriously, the possibilities are endless. And I'm looking at ALL the possibilities. =)

I'm taking this time, not only to heal, but to also:

• enjoy the cherished company of my lovely family
• laugh hysterically with my crazy awesome friends
• learn what it is I was put in this world to do and figure out how to do it
• help out with the high school lacrosse team I started last year (Ran into Coach T today. And by "ran into" I mean that I went to the high school to see her. She doesn't have an assistant coach yet and wants me. I'm thinking, why not? If I'm feeling up to it, it will make me feel like less of a loser. I love lacrosse.)
  
• listen to the music note residing on my heart and do what it tells me to do
• the possibilities are endless... =) any ideas? (That means comment on this post, please.)

I wrote this last night, "Question for thought... Today I did some of the hardest things I've ever had to do, withdrawing from school and deciding to postpone China, so why is it that I'm happier right now than I have been in days? Weeks even?"

Could it be the stress relief? The empowering love and support I've received from family and friends? Actually making progress in some direction instead of just spinning wheels? Gratitude? Hope? I think it's a mixture of all.

Dear Family,

Thank you.

Love, Megan

Tentative China departure date has changed. Now the website says February 2. Which means I'll miss your birthday AND yours. And virtually everything that will be potentially happening in the family during the year 2009. I don't like that. I'm sorry that I probably won't get to be there on your special days. If I could be two places at one time, I'd be with you. I really would. Because my family is very very important to me. Missing you is the only downside that I can see to this wonderful opportunity. And miss you I will. A lot. Don't forget that.

I don't think I'll go into detail about who and what I'll miss so much. Because that will just make me sad. I'll just post about it when I experience it.

As for my lack of posts... whoops. Life gets crazy sometimes. The last couple weeks have seemed a little crazier for me. I don't really know what to say about it. I have this image in my head and if I could draw, maybe I would draw a picture of how I feel. I'm afraid words can't describe this odd feeling.

Whatevs.

I need poetry.

And music.

And more sleep.