Megan

testing...

2009-12-01T21:16:00.000-07:00

comment if you see this.

Everything

2009-03-30T09:40:00.004-06:00

Two things of importance to mention in this post.

My sister took our engagement pictures the other day. It seems quick but it's kind of one of those things we needed to do with Kendall here and not in Texas.

Click here to see them!

She did an incredible job and I couldn't be more IN LOVE with these photos. I've watched the video about 100 times. In fact, I'm watching it as I type this. WEEEEEE!
I might start ignoring this blog because I started another one with Kendall. Link. There's not much to it now but the plan is to have it be a way for family and friends to keep up on what's going on with both of us. With wedding info and just whatever comes up. So please refer to that one as well if you want to see cool stuff.

Phew! Done. Any questions? That seemed like a lot of information to me but now I realize that it kind of wasn't. Anyways. Tell me what you think of the pictures? What are your favorites?

Some news

2009-03-25T16:48:00.001-06:00

We were supposed to be going to Mel's to play some beans. But I guess he couldn't wait any longer.

I started to get suspicious when he took a different route than usual and when he missed the last turn to my sister's I knew something was up. I asked him where we were going. With a goofy smile he said, "I don't know! I really meant to turn left there." Then he turned right. Towards the temple.

My heart sunk. And I got all nervous. I didn't say another word, but I put a playlist of some of our favorite songs on the stereo. We smiled at each other, both knowing exactly what was about to happen.

We got out of his truck and before I knew it, he had gotten down on one knee and asked me to marry him.

It wasn't extravagant or sappy. But that's not really our style after all.

There's a lot to do before he leaves to Texas for a summer job. He'll be back in August. We're thinking September 19. I'm already making lists of to-dos and searching magazines and websites for wedding plans. And I couldn't be more thrilled.

Expect future posts to be filled with wedding stuff.

So... I went to California

2009-03-13T15:29:00.014-06:00

It was such an adventure. I really needed it. I have a lot of great stories from it. Should I tell you some?

We drove a lot. Stopped in Vegas for a while. When we got to California, we checked into our hotel and decided we would race the sun to the beach. It didn't work. We couldn't find it? We used a GPS system to get around (for some reason the GPS nickname is Gina?) and she got us lost. But it was cool. When ever she would hassle us for taking a wrong turn, we replied in unison with, "Shut up, Gina!" We just ate some In & Out and called it a night.

The next morning we tried to get last minute tickets to Ellen DeGeneres. No luck. I was pretty sad. (Next time, next time.) We went to Hollywood (I'll tell you right now, that place is a JOKE. Like Las Vegas except less strippers and more lame.) where Caley SWEARS she saw Nicole Richie walking down the street. (She didn't.)

We also saw the LA temple. Which is MASSIVE.

Cool nature.

Then? Then we went to the beach. And my passionate love affair with the ocean was awakened. I love it there. Everyone loves the ocean. Why? I'm still trying to figure that out. But I know why I love the ocean.

So we were driving. Saw these. On the beach. Pulled over.

It's because it makes me feel good. It's peaceful. And happy. And it plays with all my senses. And whales live in it. Also, sea turtles and sharks and fishies and and... dolphins and... cool stuff. I want to see a whale someday. I'm still totally obsessed with them. It makes no sense.

I'm afraid of seagulls. I'll tell you why. When I was in grade school we went on a field trip and stopped at a park for lunch. I was terrorized by seagulls. They ate my lunch and pooped on me. It was horrifying and scarring. Can't say I ever really got over it. Caley peer pressured me into facing my fears. The result? Well, I'll let you watch for yourselves. In my defense, THEY WERE GOING TO EAT ME. I title this video "Megan vs. Satan Seagulls". Enjoy.

Caley wanted to go to Hearst Castle. And me? Well, I didn't care because I had no idea what it was or why it was supposed to be cool. So we went there but missed the last tour of the day. I was glad because I didn't want to pay 20 bucks just to walk around some rich guys house. Caley wanted to take a look around the gift store and learn more so I looked at books about whales and elephant seals. The following conversation we had is sure to bring a smile.

Caley: Holy crap, Meg. This castle is huge. It's ridiculous that he felt the need to build something this crazy.
Megan: Well, maybe he had a big family. Gotta put 'em all somewhere, right?
C: He didn't have any family.
M: How do YOU know?
C: Megan, do you even know who William Hearst is?
M: William Hearst... Wait a sec. WILLIAM HEARST? As in, Pulitzer and Hearst?
C: Yes. I thought you knew that.
M: As in, "Pulitzer and Hearst they think they got us, do they got us? No!"?
C: Duh.
M: We need to leave... NOW.
C: Why?
M: We're ENCOURAGING him.
C: He's dead!
M: He still knows we're here! He's probably watching all these people paying money to look at his stuff and cackling at his evil success. (Shaking my fist at the ceiling) Not me, Hearst! Not me! (To Caley) Don't even think about buying that book!

Side note: Yes, I realize that I formed an opinion about this man purely on a 1992 Disney movie. A musical no less. I'm totally okay with that.

Then we went to San Francisco. Where we saw more seals. AWESOME. And looked around, shopped at the pier and China Town and Ghirardelli square. We saw many great things.

This is China Town.

BABY BUM!

There was a bum playing his guitar and singing things like "My name's Eddie, wanna go steady? Gimme a penny so I can buy me some spaghetti!" or "My name's Joe, gimme some dough!" It made me laugh really loud. Caley wasn't very amused. Not sure why. Maybe I'm just easily entertained. I love people.

Oakland.

That's about it. The drive home was long but we entertained ourselves.

I'm going there someday

2009-02-20T13:28:00.010-07:00

I went to the Draper Temple Open House yesterday.

We drove around it a few times to take some pictures.

What shade of blue would you say the sky was? My opinion: Glorious Blue. Coming soon to a Crayola box near you. (ha?)

Seriously, the weather lately has been splendid. As long as the sun is out, I'm happy.

I was so excited to see it. I can't even describe it. It was breathtakingly beautiful. If you're in the area, I suggest going to see it.

In certain rooms there are hand painted murals on the walls. They reminded me of Grandpa Ross. Made me think of some of his paintings I've seen. Which sent me into a whirlwind of thoughts and memories. I have a memory of going to church with Gpa Ross and Gma Lyn. (Maybe a cousin's mission farewell/homecoming? Not sure. It's fuzzy.) I remember sitting next to my wonderful grandparents. Grandpa had doodled on the program. Trees, mountains, rivers, bears, deer. I remember watching the way he held the pen and let it outline the figures. Easily guiding it to create beauty. I sat in awe at how quickly and gracefully he created a landscape. If you asked me who my favorite artist is, my answer would most likely be Ross Davis.

Thinking about him made me think of Lyn. (Well, that or the fact that I was wearing her shoes.) How much I miss her. All my memories of her are from my childhood and early teen years. I wish I could know her and see her through my new "big kid" lenses. But as I was walking through those rooms with handcrafted furniture and original artwork, I felt her smiling down on me. I felt her arms wrap me up into a tight, warm hug. That's special to me.

On the way back, we stopped at the store. And by "we" I mean me, the boy, and the china man.

Side note: the china man=one of the coolest persons I've ever met. We found cool sunglasses and decided to take pictures.

The end.

Like a record baby

2009-02-19T13:16:00.000-07:00

Spinners. On a minivan.

Does this, or does this not, bright happiness to your soul?

The most glorious culinary creation since cheese

2009-02-16T18:09:00.005-07:00

Also known as Tim Tams. A Tim Tam is an Australian chocolate biscuit. Being as this is quite possibly your first experience with this wonderful treat, I think it's only fitting that I tell you my first experience. You see, me and Tim Tams? We go way back. Not really. We only met just months ago but it seems like it's been ages. Let's see, where to begin?

I suppose it starts with that cute boy from up the street. He had just returned from living in Australia for approximately 2 years (heh heh), and he decided to ask ME out on a DATE. I was surprised, but accepted the invitation without hesitation. The evening was quite enjoyable, filled with tasty food and pleasant conversation, ending with the viewing of one of my favorite movies along with much laughter and fun. But I digress.

Or, at least I thought the evening was ending. Little did I know that the tastiest part of the evening was just around the corner.

After the movie ended, this boy anounced that there was one last part of the date. We all made our way into the kitchen and he reached into the freezer and pulled out a package. It looked a lot like this:

He also pulled out some Milo and mugs. He announced that we would be having a Tim Tam Slam. Now, before I get ahead of myself, let's take a closer look at something here.

That's right, my friends. It says, "The most irresistible chocolate biscuit". And as you can see in this picture, there is great truth in that statement.

Moving on. A Tim Tam Slam goes a little something like this. Take a biscuit and nibble off opposite corners. Dip the Tim Tam into a steaming mug of Milo, place your lips on one corning and suck out the chocolate center like a straw. A fairly adequate demonstration can be found here.

And there you have it. The most glorious culinary creation since cheese. Why post about Tim Tams, you ask? I'll tell you why. Because I got my very own package of Tim Tams for V-day, that's why. I'm a lucky girl.

Have you ever had one before?

P.S. Some awesomeness to share with you.

First, oh my goodness.

Second, Rainn Wilson loves me. He told me about this. "I'm her mom... no she's not..." But I think the end is my favorite. "I have to go potty!!! Zoom down to his feet... PSSSSSSSSSS."

The insanity continues

2009-02-16T13:27:00.004-07:00

Okay. So my next post is going to have pictures but I have to go buy some AA batteries because that's what my camera takes and I can't put the pictures on my computer without batteries. And I'm really excited about this next post, by the way. But for now the random will continue and then the insanity might finally be gone. I think it's just a bunch of really random thoughts that I need to get OUT. Because sometimes my brain just keeps going and going until there's all these really funny things. OVERLOAD! Here it is. (I mean, at least I think I'm funny. Do you? Maybe I'm the only one. Oh well.)

I am SICK of Peter Breinholt's voice. It's nothing personal. I really do still love you, Peter. Truly. But we have these CD's at my work with some of your songs. They're great and everything, but when you listen to said CD's over and over and ov... you get the idea. When you listen to too much of a good thing, the magic is diminished. But don't worry. Long Way to Run will always be a favorite in it's genre.
You know it's bad when auto-drive almost (ALMOST.) takes you to your boyfriends house. Not that it did. I'm just saying. Okay, it almost took me there. It really wasn't that bad. I didn't even make a single wrong turn. I just had a small urge to turn right instead of left. See? That's it. Not bad.
I really actually enjoy doing laundry and cleaning and cooking. But I forget that I like it. Actually, I don't really forget it. I remind myself. I say, Self. You need to do your laundry. Remember last time you did it and it was fun? You turned on music and sorted out your thoughts along with your socks. Remember that? And I reply, NO. Okay, fine, I do. But I'd rather stalk people on facebook. (Gruesome cycle, people.)
Last night I couldn't sleep. So as I was waiting for utter exhaustion to take over, I surfed the net. I think I subscribed to about 10 blogs and twitter feeds. I found this blog and fell in love. I think she's hilarious. (If you're reading this, Gretchen, please don't think I'm a creeper.) Anyway, I subscribed to her blog and twitter in the middle of the night. And when I got up this morning I was like, Wha? Who's that? and then I read some of it and it was just as cool as I thought it was at 2 AM. What's my point?... OH. Right. Basically she's really cool. She gets like 20 comments on some of her posts. I think there's even some with 30+. Rad. Also, celebrities follow her twitter. Like Matisyahu and Tina Fey and like such as.
I think it's all gone now. I'm going to the store to buy AA batteries and food. And then I'll go to lacrosse. So the next post probably won't be till a little later. But it will be awesome. Oh, and donuts! I can't forget that I need to get donuts.

The one where I break all my rules talk about nothing

2009-02-16T12:07:00.005-07:00

I'm a slacker. Trying to do better. I have multiple things to post. All really random. This post could be long. Maybe I'll make several.

Side note: Remember when I decided that all my post titles would be a line from a song? I changed my mind. I'll do it when I feel like it. I also decided that I'll do a word of the day when I feel like it. But I do really want to do the picture thing. And now the randomness can begin.

The script of a text conversation that I had when I was a junior in high school with a male classmate has been bouncing around my head lately. No idea why. But maybe posting it will get it out of my system. Plus it might convince you of how hilarious I am.

Guy: Hey, wanna make-out?
Me: How much are you gonna pay me?
Guy: Uh... nothing? What do you mean?
Me: Well, if you're asking me to act like a whore, I may as well live up to the title and get some money out of it.
Guy: (Silence.)

He never attempted to contact me again. And, people, I promise you I'm not making that conversation up. I distinctly remember it. Not like some of the conversations that I make up in my mind.

Like, this morning, when Mel came to get Rayder and woke me up to say goodbye. This is how my mind thinks the conversation went:

Mel: Your room is kinda dirty.
Me: I know. It wasn't like this before.
Mel: Before what?
Me: Before it was dirty.

Here's how it really went:

Mel: Your room is kinda dirty.
Me: I know. Sorry.

Or like the times when I think of something awesome to say about 10 minutes after the fact. Like Saturday, when I saw the boy's parents at Macey's. His dad just happened to be on the phone with him. Here's how the conversation went:

The dad (on the phone as he walks up to me): Okay, Son. I just want one more thing before you go. Just tell me you love me. (Puts the phone up to my ear.)
Boy: Haha, okay. I love you, Dad.
Me: Hi, Kendall!

This is how I thought it should have gone moments later:

Boy: Haha, okay. I love you, Dad.
Me: Love you too, Son.

So, you see, I'm hilarious but only when I have time to think of something awesome to say.

Stay tuned for more awesomeness.

Write down, to remind yourself on how it can be

2009-02-12T13:13:00.007-07:00

I read parts of my journal today. I like it. I don't have to think about anyting before I write it. It's just my brain on paper. It helps me take a thought and turn it into something concrete. Make words out of feelings.

I wrote this in January:

A lot is on my mind. Mostly right now I am grateful for... a lot of things.
The biggest of which at this point is that my parents taught me to
look at a person't character and not their outward appearance or race. I was at
institute tonight and we started talking about racism and judgement. Equality.
The teacher was stressing how important equality is. The idea that we should
not judge people before we know them. You can learn to love anyone. I sat
in class thinking, This is nothing new to me. I've known this my whole life. Why
is he teaching this like it's a new concept? It frustrates me to realize that
not everyone gets it. Not everyone gets that everyone should be treated with
equal amounts of respect.

I think I get shy when things really start to matter. Maybe I don't express
my opinion enough. I fear hurting or disappointing others. Speaking ill of
another without the intent of gossip or catty words. So I just keep my mouth
shut. Maybe I should still speak up more often. I'll make that a goal. Oh wait,
it already was.

I've got this wonderful guy in my life. He's delightful. Adorable. Treats
me so well. After such a short time, he already knows me pretty well. Not only
my likes/dislikes, my personality, but he knows how to cheer me up. The other
day I was feeling down. He noticed. He felt my pain. He plugged his iPod into
the car stereo, put on some upbeat music and danced and sang with me. I think it
was Kelly Clarkson.

I wanted to post this mostly for the first paragraph. It was so frustrating to me that the man teaching the class had to learn about equality as an adult with a slap in the face. Through experience. Had to break though his old habits of thinking, "He/She is black" and learn that IT DOESN'T MATTER. Had to learn that every person in this world is just that. A PERSON. It doesn't matter what they look like. It matters who they are and what they do with their life. I'm so glad I didn't have to learn that lesson by a slap in the face. It has been taught to me since before I can remember. Equality is as second nature to me as walking or singing. So, thanks. I hope I can do as great a job of teaching my own kids about equality.

Title song. "You're a miracle to me."

All for love, we become

2009-02-10T11:22:00.001-07:00

I got tagged forever ago. Twice. Here's both.

Eight Things I'm Looking Forward To:

This lacrosse season. I'm coaching. It starts this week and I can already tell that this will be THE season. So excited!

Escaping to warm weather! (I'll tell you later.)

Brother wedding.

Sister wedding.

Finishing this post.

Finishing all seven books I'm in the process of reading.

Sunshine.

Learning.

Eight Things on My Wish List:

A hair appointment.

A trip to the used book store. Those are my favorite kinds of books.

Higher quality CTR ring.

A bag that doesn't make me angry.

A nose that isn't stuffy.

A whistle for lacrosse.

More time.

To play with my nephews.

Eight TV Shows I Like to Watch:

The Office.

American Idol.

Eight Things that Happened Yesterday:

Went to work.

Went to lacrosse.

Planned my little escape to warmer weather.

Ate a lot of Swedesh Fish with Caley.

Ate ice cream with Kendall.

Cleaned my room.

Went to sleep.

Eight People Who Now Have to Do This Silly Tag:

You.

Tag number two:

Answer each question with only one word.

Where is your cell phone? Counter

Your significant other? Happy

Your hair color? Gross

Your mother? Two

Your father? Silly

Your favorite thing? Smiles

Your dream last night? Wedding (NOT MINE.)

Your favorite drink? Juice

Your dream/goal? Simplicity

What room are you in? Store

Your fear? Failure

Where do you want to be in 6 years? Happy

Where were you last night? Everywhere

Something that you aren't? Boring

Muffins? Yes

Wish list item? Hair

Where you grew up? Here

Last thing you did? Breathe

What are you wearing? Hoodie

Something you're not wearing? Make-up

Your TV? Black?

Your pets? Fat

Your friends? Laugh

Your computer? Slow

Your life? Adventure

Your mood? Childlike

Missing someone? Maybe

Your car? Outside

Favorite store? Old

Your summer? Perfect

Your favorite color? Yellow

When is the last time you laughed? Now

Last time you cried? Wednesday

A place you go over and over? Works

Emails you regularly? Facebook?

Favorite place to eat? All

A place you would rather be right now? Any

Plans for the weekend? Boy?

Who will respond to this? Dunno

Title Song.

Our hopes and expectations

2009-02-02T19:09:00.003-07:00

Today was supposed to be a good day. It was for a while. Then I started thinking.

When I graduated high school I had plans. Go to college, move out, see the world.

I dropped out of college. I didn't move out. I'm not seeing the world.

All these things I have been fine with so far. I actually enjoy telling people I'm a college dropout. I usually get a high-five.

Everything I've tried to accomplish since high school graduation has pretty much blown up in my face.

It was all beyond my control. But I still feel like a failure.

Can't help it.

On a brighter side, there's this guy who likes me even though I can't seem to do anything right. Makes me really happy. Also, SCARES THE CRAP OUT OF ME.

Song

I feel better now.

Let's just take our time

2009-01-26T11:30:00.010-07:00

I feel the want to post something here. Just don't know what to say. Maybe I'll throw some pictures in. Life is good. Wonderful and spectacular. Any questions? Anything you wish I would write about? I'm drawing a blank. Open for ideas.

I want to start the word of the day again. I miss that. And I want to start taking more pictures. So I'm going to post a picture at least every week. Whatever I feel like. Also, I hereby decree that every post from here on out will be a line from a song. Probably one that's stuck in my head or that I'm currently listening to. If I start slacking with any of these, I give you full permission to hassle me about my laziness.

Now I'm going to go eat some cheese.

P.S. His name is Kendall.

What do you think?

Enjoying every moment

2009-01-09T14:58:00.005-07:00

I feel like the last post was way too pessimistic. That's not me at all. And it's not how I wanted it to sound. I'm very happy with my life and where I am right now. Sure, I'm very disappointed about my plans that didn't work out, but I'm enjoying every minute of life.

A while ago, one of my friends said something that stuck with me. I can't remember exactly what it was but the basic message was Life is hard and there are so many ups and downs. Enjoy every single moment. Some moments will be overwhelmingly joyful, cherish them. Other moments will be horribly depressing and heart-breaking. Cherish those moments too. It's all part of the ride. It's all part of life. Carpe Diem.

I try to live by that. I think the other night when I wrote that last post was a moment of sadness. I cherished it.

It's time now to follow a different dream. I realize that. My problem is figuring out what my other dreams are. I've been focused on two big ones (seeing the world and teaching kids) for so long, I've forgotten other dreams.

What are they?

There's music and lacrosse. Lacrosse is a dream I'm following. I'll be assistant coach of my high school team this spring. Music is a scary one for me. I put a lot of emotion into music. When I play a piece on the piano, I put my soul into it. Expressive. Performing is always so stressful. I'm putting myself out there for anyone listening to judge. Creating music along with performing what I created is very scary to me.

This is all just scrambled thoughts in my head. I guess now I get to figure out what my other dreams are. Things I want to do.

I want to master a foreign language and use it often. I want to learn how to longboard. I want to learn a new instrument. I want to learn about photography and take pictures that speak louder than words. I want to create something worthy of being called art. I want to go on a spur-of-the-moment adventure to a city I've never been to. I want to read more books and poetry. I want to learn what it's like to live away from home. I want to learn how to cook and bake bread. I want to learn a skill or ability that I enjoy and will enable me to have a career that will support financially.

The list goes on. A common theme to my wants is learn. Okay, so I want to learn. Now where do I start?

The whining I warned you about

2009-01-07T22:28:00.003-07:00

I think the word "heal" really means to do absolutely nothing and watch while everyone else follows their dreams.

Since I decided to stay home from China, I have been doing better than I expected. Pretty great actually. My family is so supportive and patient through all this. My friends are fantastic. And this guy who randomly popped into my life has done wonders for my mood. Haze all you want, he's becoming my best friend.

Today it hit me. I'm not going to China in February. I'm not going to school either. I'm just here. I work about twice a week. And the rest of the time I'm contemplating what I'm going to do with my life. And not just for the spring semester. What am I going to do with my LIFE? If I do decide to go back to school, what on earth am I going to study? Because school seems really pointless if I don't have a goal. An end result as motivation. A class that I actually enjoy.

I'm not only completely in the dark about my future; I'm pissed.

Because I was going to teach children in China. I can't express how badly I wanted to do that. I was going to teach them and fall in love with them. I was going to miss home, yes, but I was going to follow my dreams.

I was going to cry when I left to come back home because of all the wonderful discoveries, friends, and memories I had made. I was going to cherish my semester in China for the rest of my life. I was going to tell everyone about the people I met and the things I learned about the world and myself.

I was going to tell my children about it. And maybe I would have sparked a sense of adventure in them as well. And they would think, "Wow. I can't believe Mom really did all of that. She's so cool. I want to be like her someday. I want to travel the world too. I bet she'd even come with me if I asked her." Future children, I would. I so would! In a heartbeat, I would be on a plane with you wherever you wanted to go. You would lead the way and we would discover this beautiful world together. On your terms. In your own way.

I was going to go to China. I was going to submerge myself in a new everything. I was going to teach those kids. And play with them. Laugh with them. Sing songs with them. Learn from them.

I was going to stand on The Great Wall of China. I was going to stand there, stretch my arms out, close my eyes, and remember that moment when I was 9 and I learned about The Great Wall in school and I thought to myself, "I want to go there. I want to go there so badly." I was going to remember that moment when China felt so out of reach. That moment when I was small and the world was big and there was no way I could find a way to get there. Not in a million years. I would remember that moment and think, "The world is big. I am small. But I can do big things anyways."

I was going to check something off my life list.

I was going to be the girl who actually followed her dreams. The girl who didn't just talk about traveling the world and learning new things everyday, but actually did it.

I was going to do all those things and more. And now (pardon the pessimism) I'm living at home in Happy Valley with crushed dreams and nothing to do while watching all my friends go to school to follow their own dreams. Why? Because I'm healing. From mono and TMJ. Seriously? Mono and TMJ? That stopped me? It really ticks me off that this is what's stopping me from following my dreams. It hardly sounds like something that would stop someone who has dreams this big.

The funny part? Even after laying out all my unattainable dreams in the open, I don't regret dreaming big. Not even a little bit. Not even at all. Not even for a moment.

Ask me why. Go on, ask.

Because I still believe that dreams come true. I'm still going to follow mine. I believe that this setback, this challenge of great interest, is going to make living my dream that much sweeter. I believe there is a reason for everything. A reason for all of this.

Oh, Dear.

2009-01-02T16:44:00.003-07:00

I despise the facebook.

One World One Dream

2008-12-30T17:03:00.004-07:00

There was a rebroadcast of the Opening Ceremonies of the Beijing Olympics 2008 on Saturday. I watched some of it and was reminded of the answer to the questions people would ask me frequently.

"Why China? Why teach?"

These questions would send me into a whirlwind of thought and reflection. I would be tempted to return those questions with some of my own.

Is it possible to watch those performances and not be inspired?

Is it possible to learn about the symbolism in a seemingly simple Chinese character and not find universal truths?

Is it possible to see the innocent and sincere smile on a child's face and not feel a little warmth in your heart as well?

Is it possible to learn of the history and culture of these people and not stand in awe?

I'm fascinated with the people, language, culture, place. I'm curious about it all. I want to learn more, more, more.

Now, I'm often asked whether I'll be going to China after I heal or if it's out completely. I realize that anything can happen between now and when I'm back to full health. I realize that at any given moment, something could change my mind. But for now, I still want to go. And I know that someday I will. That's enough for me right now.

I forgot about you again

2008-12-26T15:11:00.004-07:00

Since my last post I...

went to a specialist who took blood from my body and later told me I have mono.
went to another specialist who told me I also have TMJ. I now have a splint/retainer/thing that I wear when I sleep and a few hours during the day. It's supposed to fix everything. People make fun of me.
played lots of beans. Lost every game but I'm still obsessed with it!
went on a date.
set my best friend up with her potential future boyfriend. Just call me Emma.
got into a war with these. And won. Which, in fact, was the same night as the two previous bullets.
went to Taco Tuesday with the guys I've been hanging around lately to fill the void of my friends on missions. But don't worry, I'm not using them. They do more than fill the void, we have lots o fun. If anything, they use me so they can say they actually got a girl to come this week. Yep, they really said that.
simply ha-ad a wonderful Christmas time!

That's pretty much it. I met a Chinese guy today. Long story short, he was my friends mission companion and he will be attending UVU. Pretty much awesome. I took a few moments to be sad about my China plans falling through. If anything, my desire to go to China has increased. It was really cool to talk to him. I wish I could speak Chinese. It's a beautiful language.

Right now I'm waiting for a night of fun to begin with some friends. I predict laughing.

This blog is about to get really personal

2008-12-10T11:05:00.003-07:00

A lot has happened within the past little while. I'll tell the story after I say this.

I've been thinking lately about the things I post on this blog and why I leave some parts of my life out. A part of me believes that there are certain things in life that are just too personal to share with other people and that those other people might not want to hear that part. I still believe that, but on the other hand I've come to the conclusion that whoever doesn't want to hear it, doesn't have to read. "It", in this context, is defined as everything that goes on in my life that I have something to say about, yet I leave it out of the blog. Main topics that fall under this category are my dating life and my spiritual and church life. So from now on, I Go There. If I feel like writing about those things (or anything else for that matter) I will. If I don't feel like it, I wont. The end. =)

So here is the story. I'm sick. Don't know what it is yet, therefore don't know how to fix it yet. Because of this, teaching in China is being postponed until we know what's going on and I get back on my feet. Making that decision is at the top of my list of hardest things I've ever had to do in my life this far. Right up there next to saying goodbye to Sam. (OH MY GOSH I SAID HIS NAME ON THE INTERNET. =) Hahaha!) Where was I? Oh yeah. China is postponed until future notice. Overall, I'm okay with that. (Although, I'm sure you'll hear me whining about this soon enough.)

School is on hold too. I withdrew from classes yesterday. So, for now, I'm omitting all stress from my life, and focusing on getting healthy. I'm keeping my part-time job. The plan is, as I get better I'll ease into life again. Whether it's China, college, massage therapy school, cello lessons, or Hogwarts. Seriously, the possibilities are endless. And I'm looking at ALL the possibilities. =)

I'm taking this time, not only to heal, but to also:

enjoy the cherished company of my lovely family
laugh hysterically with my crazy awesome friends
learn what it is I was put in this world to do and figure out how to do it
help out with the high school lacrosse team I started last year (Ran into Coach T today. And by "ran into" I mean that I went to the high school to see her. She doesn't have an assistant coach yet and wants me. I'm thinking, why not? If I'm feeling up to it, it will make me feel like less of a loser. I love lacrosse.)
listen to the music note residing on my heart and do what it tells me to do
the possibilities are endless... =) any ideas? (That means comment on this post, please.)

I wrote this last night, "Question for thought... Today I did some of the hardest things I've ever had to do, withdrawing from school and deciding to postpone China, so why is it that I'm happier right now than I have been in days? Weeks even?"

Could it be the stress relief? The empowering love and support I've received from family and friends? Actually making progress in some direction instead of just spinning wheels? Gratitude? Hope? I think it's a mixture of all.

Dear Family,

Thank you.

Love, Megan

Miss

2008-12-01T23:20:00.005-07:00

Tentative China departure date has changed. Now the website says February 2. Which means I'll miss your birthday AND yours. And virtually everything that will be potentially happening in the family during the year 2009. I don't like that. I'm sorry that I probably won't get to be there on your special days. If I could be two places at one time, I'd be with you. I really would. Because my family is very very important to me. Missing you is the only downside that I can see to this wonderful opportunity. And miss you I will. A lot. Don't forget that.

I don't think I'll go into detail about who and what I'll miss so much. Because that will just make me sad. I'll just post about it when I experience it.

As for my lack of posts... whoops. Life gets crazy sometimes. The last couple weeks have seemed a little crazier for me. I don't really know what to say about it. I have this image in my head and if I could draw, maybe I would draw a picture of how I feel. I'm afraid words can't describe this odd feeling.

Whatevs.

I need poetry.

And music.

And more sleep.

Unashamed

2008-11-16T11:02:00.000-07:00

I am a part of the "Fellowship of the Unashamed."
The die has been cast. I have stepped over the line.
The decision has been made. I am a disciple of
Jesus Christ. I won't look back, let up, slow down,
back away, or be still. My past is redeemed, my present
makes sense, and my future is secure.
I am finished and done with low living, sight walking,
small planning, smooth knees, colorless dreams,
chintzy giving, and dwarfed goals.

I no longer need pre-eminence, prosperity, position,
promotions, plaudits, or popularity. I now live by
presence, lean by faith, love by patience,
lift by prayer, and labor by power. My pace
is set, my gait is fast, my goal is Heaven, my
road is narrow, my way is rough, my companions few,
my Guide reliable, my mission clear. I cannot be bought,
compromised, deterred, lured away, turned back,
diluted, or delayed.

I will not flinch in the face of sacrifice, hesitate in the
presence of adversity, negotiate at the table of the enemy,
ponder at the pool of popularity, or meander
in the maze of mediocrity.

I am a disciple of Jesus Christ. I must go until
Heaven returns, give until I drop, preach until all know,
and work until He comes. And when He comes to get
His own, He will have no problem recognizing me.
My colors will be clear.

I am not ashamed of the gospel. (Romans 1:16)

"The Fellowship of the Unashamed"
Dr. Bob Moorehead

My friend shared this with me the other day. It speaks to me. I am part of the Fellowship of the Unashamed. Simple.

My heart's music note

2008-11-14T10:43:00.004-07:00

During the past couple of weeks I have felt inspired. Inspired by music and events. I want to create something that will have the same effect on others as she or they (or most recently, they) have had on me. (And I thank Steve Vistaunet for introducing me to all via you.) I have this increased desire to write music. Small problem with that... I have no idea how. I suppose fooling around with chords on the piano and guitar will get me somewhere?

I'm afraid that if I do try to write something, it will just be a generic, inexpressive bore. One of those silly songs that teenage girls (myself included) sing in the car on the way to the mall to like, shop. I don't want to be cheese. I want to make something more than that. Something real. Don't know where to start.

I feel like there's something inside of me, trying to get out. There's a song or two deep in my fingers, waiting to escape. I can't describe this feeling. I picture it as a little music note that has appeared on the surface on my heart. I know it's there is because it whispers to me, "Write me, write me. Turn me into a melody. Play me. Sing me. I need to be heard."

Lyrics shouldn't be a problem for me. I have pages and pages of things I've written that could become lyrics. But they just don't fit. They aren't what the music note on my heart needs to become. So I ask, "What are your words, little music note? What are your sounds? What is your melody? What is your rhythm? What is your message?"

Thoughts? Suggestions? Words of encouragement? I have the want, but do I have the ability? The knowledge?

PS: I'm buying this. I need it.

A Dream

2008-11-09T10:15:00.005-07:00

I am a young man. Human life is a musical. I sing on a boat. A big ship. The song ends on the deck with a big splash. Another tsunami wave comes, threatening the boats stability. It's existence. I am not afraid. The ocean gives me peace. The boat is covered in water. The wave brought a girl with it. She lies on the deck as if she was washed up on shore. I begin to approach her and without a word she stands and takes my hand. Together we run, jump into the water and begin swimming to a new song. Her song. I can breathe under the water. Or can I just hold my breathe longer than I could before?

A blue whale shakes my panicked hand and greets me in English. Or do I just understand his language? I suppose the whale was the cause of the wave on the ship. The three of us swim together and I feel as if I can’t keep up. I hold onto the whale to carry me. Can a whale chuckle? We swim on. The familiar girl swims with elegance and expertise. It is beautiful. She is beautiful. Where have I seen her before? How do I know her?

Now I am the girl. I am me. I look at him and smile. I’ve finally found him. Now I will never let him go. We swim in silent understanding. I can feel his eyes adoring me as I twist and move and jump. Like a mermaid. But that is not what I am. He will soon understand. He will soon remember his life before. His life with me when we were in love. His life as one of us. A mammal of the sea.

I am fascinated. Why would I dream of being a whale? Is this weird to any one else?

Word of the day: Seven

2008-11-04T19:10:00.004-07:00

pic⋅ture [pik-cher]

noun, verb, -tured, -tur⋅ing. –noun

1. A visual representation or image painted, drawn, photographed, or otherwise rendered on a flat surface.
2. A visible image, especially one on a flat surface or screen: the picture reflected in the lake; focused the picture on the movie screen.
3. a. A vivid or realistic verbal description: a Shakespearean picture of guilt.b. A vivid mental image.
4. A person or object bearing a marked resemblance to another: She's the picture of her mother.
5. A person, object, or scene that typifies or embodies an emotion, state of mind, or mood: Your face was the very picture of horror.
6. The chief circumstances of an event or time; a situation.
7. A movie.
8. A tableau vivant.

-- pic·tured, pic·tur·ing, pic·tures
1. To make a visible representation of.
2. To form a mental image of; visualize.
3. To describe vividly in words; make a verbal picture of

If a picture paints a thousand words, then why can't I paint you?

Crunch

2008-11-03T18:46:00.001-07:00

By which I mean the trees. Definitely for the trees.

There is this little grove of trees on campus. I walk past it almost every day. The first week I was here, I remember looking at all the green and hoping that Utah would give me a legitimate Autumn so I could enjoy this. Thanks, Utah.

I can't hide

2008-10-27T12:15:00.004-06:00

It is on repeat.

First off, this version is simple. Beautiful. Emotional. It seems to me that the simplest of phrases can be the most powerful.

"I want to hold your hand."

It's the beginning. It's going out on a limb. It's jumping and hoping you fall in the right place. It's expressive. It's without reservation. It's your diary screaming out loud. It's being so sure of your feelings and emotions that you can't hide it inside yourself anymore. It's just needing to say it. Or write it. It's a shaky voice of confession. It's stuttering words of affirmation. A declaration. It's music. It's art. It's colors. It's beautiful. A wonder. A thought. A dream. A wish. A heart.

Oh yeah, I’ll tell you something. I think you’ll understand when I say that something. I wanna hold your hand. I wanna hold your hand. I wanna hold your hand.

Oh, please, say to me you’ll let me be your man and please, say to me you’ll let me hold your hand. Now let me hold your hand. I wanna hold your hand.

And when I touch you I feel happy inside. It’s such a feeling that my love I can’t hide. I can’t hide. I can’t hide.

Yeah you got that something I think you’ll understand when I say that something. I wanna hold your hand. I wanna hold your hand. I wanna hold your hand.

I wanna hold your hand.

Word of the day: Six

2008-10-27T12:03:00.003-06:00

quix⋅ot⋅ic [kwik-sot-ik]
–adjective

1.	(sometimes initial capital letter) resembling or befitting Don Quixote.

2.	extravagantly chivalrous or romantic; visionary, impractical, or impracticable.

3.	impulsive and often rashly unpredictable.

He is quixotic in a way with which I am unfamiliar, causing my thoughts to wave and crash about the sea.

I am a bear in hibernation.

2008-10-23T13:32:00.000-06:00

I've been ignoring you, blog. I'm sorry. I'll try to stop. It's not that I haven't had any blog worthy experiences, thoughts, or words. I have. I really have. Lots of them too. Like the Jon Schmidt concert I went to. And the seasons changing. And music. And books. And adventures. And WOTD. And questions. And learns. Believe me when I say this: It's not you, it's me.

I've learned a few things while I've avoided posting:

College is hard.
Working at a restaurant and going to school full-time... is hard.
When you are doing numbers 1 and 2, it's not smart to sit at home and play music during your free time like you want to. (Unless, of course, music is your major. Which I have to admit... that sounds really good right now. Reallly good.)
All these things will wear you out. And if you're not careful, you'll get sick.
And tired.
And you won't be able to sleep.
And when you do sleep, you'll find it very hard to wake up.
And you'll get sick.

My sisters cracked jokes the other day when I told them I might quit my job and take a job at a new bookstore that's opening next week. It was funny. Well, I took the job. Because the restaurant? Might just maybe possibly a little bit sorta be the cause of numbers 4-7. Maybe.

Okay, it totally is. And just the thought of a less stressful job is helping me come out of my cave. Because I've been hibernating. If you've seen me within the past couple weeks, I wasn't really conscious. I was sleep walking.

Concerning China:

Fuqing is indeed pronounced Fuching.
The ILP program is new to the school at which I will be teaching. Which means that I'm the first impression. And most likely, these kids don't know a lick of English. Exciting! Daunting!
I'm not excited for the medical forms I need to fill out.
I want your opinion on something, dear blog. They say that the teachers in the program get a lot of downtime. One girl said that when she went to China, she read 17 books. SEVENTEEN. That makes me drool. But I have a problem, I wont have room in my luggage to pack SEVENTEEN books. Plus, what if I don't get to all SEVENTEEN? What if I finish all of them and get bored? So, I'm looking into electronic book readers. I also think that this would be cheaper than buying every book I want to read and bringing it with me. I like this one and this one. I'm going to try to get a deal on eBay, so let me know what you think! Also, if you know of any other models that are good, I'm interested.

I promise to not be gone so long this time.

Copy, Paste.

2008-10-13T12:14:00.004-06:00

International Language Programs


Dear Megan,

Congratulations!  You have been assigned to Fuqing in China for the
Spring 2009 semester. We are excited to have you teach with our
 program and know you will do a wonderful job serving the children.

Thank you for completing the Application and Documents Packet!
We now have the information we need to prepare for your service
abroad.

You will mainly be teaching Primary level classes. Please keep in mind
that we make level assignments to help you be able to gather
age-appropriate supplies—primary teachers will be working with children
ages 4-8 years; elementary teachers will be working with children ages
9-16 years. However, once you are in the country, you may be asked to
teach classes in the other level to accommodate changes in enrollment.
To ensure that you’ll be ready to teach either level, you’ll be trained
for both. We appreciate your flexibility in this area.

Please plan to attend one complete volunteer training session. You can
find the training schedule on our web site at www.ilp.org/training. Your
participation in one of the training sessions is required. Training
sessions provide the answers to many of your questions, introduce you to
the culture, language, other volunteers, and most importantly the ILP
teaching method. Please call the office or email ________ to let us
know which training session you will attend.

If you will be departing in the next two months, please download the
Medical Forms packet found at www.ilp.org/docspacket. These medical
documents must be submitted at least one month before departure. If you
will be departing later, we will email you this packet about two months
before departure.

We look forward to meeting with you again and sharing in your excitement
as you continue to prepare for this adventure abroad!


Sincerely,
ILP Review Committee Chairperson

Word of the day: Five

2008-10-07T22:35:00.003-06:00

Shan. =)

light·ning [lahyt-ning]

–noun

1.	a brilliant electric spark discharge in the atmosphere, occurring within a thundercloud, between clouds, or between a cloud and the ground.

–verb (used without object)

2.	to emit a flash or flashes of lightning (often used impersonally with it as subject): If it starts to lightning, we'd better go inside.

–adjective

3.	of, pertaining to, or resembling lightning, esp. in regard to speed of movement: lightning flashes; lightning speed.

The lightning tore into the sky, so we danced to the cadence of the thunder's rhythm.
(Cadence maybe have to be WOTD soon.)

Duude...

2008-10-07T22:20:00.004-06:00

The tag is to post the fourth picture in the fourth folder of your pictures folder. I was tagged by Rachel. She's awesome.

I took this while I was in Boston last year. I miss that place. This was at the aquarium. That place was hands down the best aquarium I've ever been to. There were penguins all on the first level and the whole room was a spiral ramp. You could get off at any level. The walls of the ramp? Glass to a giant tank where all the sea creatures were. This is where we met Crush. ("Righteous! RIGHTEOUS!")

I hereby tag: Mom, Mom, Kenna, Erika, Elle, ... basically anyone reading. =)

Word of the day: Four

2008-10-06T14:40:00.000-06:00

per·snick·et·y [per-snik-i-tee]

–adjective Informal.

1.	overparticular; fussy.

2.	snobbish or having the aloof attitude of a snob.

3.	requiring painstaking care.

Mom, You're persnickety.

Word of the day: Three

2008-10-05T21:11:00.002-06:00

e·ter·ni·ty [i-tur-ni-tee]

–noun, plural -ties.

1.	infinite time; duration without beginning or end.

2.	eternal existence, esp. as contrasted with mortal life: the eternity of God.

3.	Theology. the timeless state into which the soul passes at a person's death.

4.	an endless or seemingly endless period of time: We had to wait an eternity for the check to arrive.

5.	eternities, the truths or realities of life and thought that are regarded as timeless or eternal.

Families can be together through the eternities.

A Tale of Two Printers

2008-10-05T20:57:00.003-06:00

One Sunday evening, Megan was trying to print something from her laptop. She hooked up to printer number 1: not working. Then she hooked up to printer number 2. After a few minutes she realized that the reason printer number 2 wasn't working for her was because it was not plugged into the wall. After plugging printer number 2 into the wall, she realized that the chord she thought was for printer number 2 was really for printer number 1. When she tried sending the document to printer number 1, it didn't work. So she searched for the chord to printer number 2. She found it quickly and printed her document. She then wondered what she had hooked up to the first time, when she thought she was connected to printer number 1. She followed the chord and, much to her dismay, found that it was the chord to the mouse.

Word of the day: Two

2008-10-04T21:05:00.001-06:00

om·i·nous [om-uh-nuhs]

–adjective

1.	portending evil or harm; foreboding; threatening; inauspicious: an ominous bank of dark clouds.

2.	having the significance of an omen.

The smoke coming from the hood of the car isn't as ominous as it seems.

Word of the day: One

2008-10-03T12:36:00.003-06:00

I want to start a word of the day list. Expand my vocabulary, if you will. So every day - haha - I will have a word of the day. It will probably be one that I read recently and didn't know the definition so I had to look it up. Or maybe it will just be a word I like that day. Who knows.

This one is from my research on my paper about the Hungarian Revolution of 1956. I still don't have a specific angle. I'm in early research stages. A rough draft is due in a week. ACK!

PS I read and walk at the same time. I think it's the only way to be successful with all the reading that is required in college classes. I've only had one close encounter with a wall.

u·biq·ui·tous [yoo-bik-wi-tuhs]

adjective

- existing or being everywhere, esp. at the same time; omnipresent: ubiquitous fog; ubiquitous little ants.

The Soviet troops were ubiquitous, rounding up Hungarian citizens with various Russian commands.

I'm going to China!

2008-09-26T16:40:00.004-06:00

I didn't want to post anything earlier this week without being able to give you good news. But I'm going! I got an email this afternoon from ILP, accepting me for the Spring 2009 semester which means I will leave sometime in January or February and returning in June.

Now, I still need to fill out a 15 page document and make a payment in order to officially reserve my spot so I still don't know exact dates. But. I've been accepted! And I'm so excited!

I'm excited to meet my students and fall in love with them. I'm excited to teach them and learn from them. I'm excited to take pictures of everything I see and blog about my entire experience. I'm excited to explore. I'm about to live my dream. I'm excited for everything. I'm excited to just crash and burn while I'm teaching because... (sigh)... I don't speak Mandarin. I'm excited to learn more about myself and the world. And cultures. And people. And history. Everything. Learn. Grow. Discover. Accomplish. Live. Laugh. Love. Ardently.

Drenched in anticipation

2008-09-18T16:08:00.006-06:00

To do list:

Pick a program: check.
Pick a country: check.
Apply online: check.
Get academic reference: check.
Get character reference: check.
Go to interview: check.
Apply for passport: check.
Get accepted: will know next week.

Things

2008-09-16T19:53:00.005-06:00

So I'm a college student. Yep. I go to college. I learn. Lalala. Nothing too special about that.

Things I am happy about right now:

Pretty sure I'm getting "a little kitty kiiitty". You basically just have to hear me say that.
I'm enjoying school, and the knowledge I get from it. Like the other day, in my Interpersonal Communications class, we were learning about relationships. There are different kinds you see. Like, I-It (generally consist of strangers, maybe a server. Someone you don't treat like an individual, they are just there), I-You (most of your friends/acquaintances. You recognize them as an individual), and I-Thou (basically your family and best friends, you know their hopes and dreams and they know yours). I had a job interview. The guy treated me like an "It". Well, I didn't appreciate that. So I don't care if they give me the job.
I'm making many new friends. People from school. People from church. People I like. People who like me. Friends.
I filled out a Passport Application. I'm not entirely sure where I'm going. Or when. That's why I'm getting a passport now. How about we put a vote on it? When you get the chance go here, here, and here. Pick your favorite and tell me why. And please! Comments mean a lot to me and so does your opinion! Also, if you know of any other programs along these lines, I'm interested!
Took my first test today, I really think I did well. I'll let ya know.
I have two job interviews this week/next week. Woo!
I put bed risers on my bed. I feel like a princess.

Things I am unhappy about:

Some friends seem to be disappearing out of my life. Some seem to be popping in every once in a while. Teasing me. They love me, they love me not. Please make up your minds. It's hard not knowing if you'll be around or not.
I don't get to read as much as I want. I mean novels. Those beautiful stories I hunger for. Last night I was talking to some friends about books and movies. Before this conversation, I considered myself relatively well-read. Ooh-ho-hoh no. I was sadly mistaken. It made me desperately want to sit and read for days. Not so I could catch up to them in their knowledgeable ways. They talked so highly of classics like Moby Dick and Crime and Punishment. Jane Eyre and Persuasion. All books I've wanted to read but just haven't had the time.
I saw a really big scary spider in my room yesterday. No really. This one was really bad. Like, huge. I'm not exaggerating this time. Ew. I'm unhappy about this because I think he was in the mafia. So he probably has friends. Who are his size. ACK!

Things I've been thinking about:

I have this one friend who seems to read me like a book. I don't even know him that well. Maybe he's just really that perceptive, or maybe I wear my heart on my sleeve but he knows when I'm not myself. Also, every time I talk to him, he says something that is a huge answer to a question bobbing around in my soul. On any other day, if he said what he did, it would be nothing special. Wouldn't think twice about it. But the other day a simple, "You are awesome, thanks for being yourself" was a big deal to me.
I'm friends with these two people (the ones I was talking books with as I mentioned earlier). They are brother and sister. They have an awesome relationship. I can't really put my finger on what makes their relationship so interesting to me. They're best friends. The word patience comes to mind. It makes me wonder what their childhood was like together. What drew these two siblings together instead of others in their family? Or is their entire this close with each other?
There's nothing wrong with being yourself. Even if it makes other people unhappy. Especially if it makes other people unhappy. I learned this again. I won't change who I am because someone doesn't like it. What I like, or what I don't. What I do or don't do. What I believe in. And I believe in a lot of things. Possibly a whole post's worth.
Also, I think it's very fashionable to wear your heart on your sleeve. Maybe you get hurt more but you learn, grow, and become a lot more too.

The end.

Song of the day.
Favorite moments:
"Are your friends really your friends?
Are you still waiting for the end of the day?
Hey, hey, when will you learn to love what's sent from up above?
...
But it's a facade like the sky, like the moon, like your eyes
...
Oh, I wish I had someone.
Who would want you as you are?
What can you give they couldn't get from someone else?
What life of ease, what wedding bells, what pretty stones, what precious wealth?
...
It's called a come on, come on, come on baby
Does your heart echo like a hall
'Cause there's no one there at all"

100th Post

2008-09-02T23:44:00.002-06:00

I'm not creative enough to step away from the tradition of the random 100 facts in celebration of the 100th post. I sure hope it doesn't bore any of you to tears.

When I was about two years old I got drunk after I got into the window wash.
I was rushed to the hospital to get my stomach pumped.
As a child I was very quiet and shy.
Most people I meet now don't believe this.
I went to the first three days of Kindergarten in pull-ups.
When I realized that all the other kids really WERE using the potty, I grew a desire to wear the big girl panties.
For the majority of my childhood, I would only consume macaroni and cheese and peanut butter and watermelon sandwiches.
I hate watermelon unless it's on a peanut butter sandwich.
I only like extra crunchy peanut butter.
I get that from my stepmom.
I only say stepmom because I have to. If I didn't have to differentiate between my two moms, I wouldn't. They are both my mom.
In fact, "step" isn't really part of my daily vocabulary.
I did gymnastics until I broke my arm in the fourth grade by falling off the high bar.
I wore a Snoopy sling for months.
When they said I didn't need it anymore I cut it up into small pieces and lit those pieces on fire.
I was way too cool for that stupid Snoopy sling.
I grew out of the hating Snoopy stage.
I believe in Christ, His gospel and church.
Those beliefs make me the happy one.
In elementary school and junior high I was involved in musical theatre.
I still have a passion for acting, singing, and dancing.
I'm not too great at any of them. Except maybe singing.
I have a fiery passion for music of every kind.
I think the passion was always there, but my piano teacher was the one who lit it on fire.
I've played the piano for ten years.
A year or two before I quit taking lessons my piano teacher told me she had come close to quitting many times and that my talent, dedication, and success was one of the main reasons she kept sticking with it. The second she said that, I knew I wouldn't play for anyone except her.
I still feel guilty for quitting.
I've played lacrosse since I was in 8th grade.
During my senior year I pretty much single handedly started a lacrosse team at my high school.
It was one of the best experiences of my life.
The wonderful coach of that team started calling me Megs.
It's my favorite nickname.
I grind my teeth when I sleep. This causes me to have frequent headaches.
Because my jaw muscles are so exhausted all the time, I rarely chew gum. It intensifies the headache.
My jaw pops every time I open it, but only on the left side.
Almost every one of my joints pop with out much force.
I have arthritis. I know when the weather is about to change.
If given the choice, I will always pick something that is on my left side. Or the bottom of a stack.
When I'm shopping at the grocery store, I never take the front item. Especially if it's chips. It's because the ones in the back are touched less.
I will always pick odd numbers. For instance, the T.V. volume must be an odd number.
The only exception to this is when eating. Equal/even amounts of food to each side of the mouth.
I love alliterations and use them frequently when I'm writing creatively.
I love poems and short stories.
I took a creative writing class and wrote a few short stories and some poems.
My teacher bribed me to submit them to a teen literary magazine.
I have no idea if they got published or not. I don't really care either way.
Writing has always been more of a stress outlet for me than for an audience.
I also experiment with art as a stress outlet. I find it soothing.
There are millions of books on my reading list. I often go to the bookstore and drool.
Something tells me I wont get to all of them.
I daydream about my future everyday.
I look at my niece and nephews and wonder what my kids will be like. What kind of mother I will be.
No matter where I am, I always sleep with my back towards the entrance of the room.
I feel like if I'm not constantly progressing in some way or another, I'm moving backwards.
I hate cold weather.
I must have at least two sons and one daughter because I already have their first and middle names picked out.
Future Husband has absolutely no say in the matter.
Well, unless he likes the names. Which he will, or I wouldn't have married him.
I have a pretty good idea of what kind of person Future Husband will be.
I have a hunger for traveling and experiencing other cultures.
I say hunger because I feel like I'm living without a major necessity having never left the U.S.
My best friend and I share this hunger. Ever since we met we've had this joke that once we both graduated high school, we would get enough money for a plane ticket and work our way around the world. Nomads.
We both know that the other is in no way joking.
I love school supplies.
One of my very favorite movies is You've Got Mail. I identify with Kathleen Kelly.
Not in the emailing and falling in love with a perfect stranger who happens to be the man who puts me out of business kind of way. More in the I love books and simplicity and Jane Austen and daisies and bouquets of newly sharpened pencils way.
I love pictures because they seem to speak without words.
I have a coat hanger in my room.
It holds purses and scarves... and coats.
I pride myself in saying that I have a childlike sense of adventure and curiosity.
Speaking of pride, my sisters say that I will grow up and have 12 kids and a perfect garden and wonderful kitchen and so on. The epitome of a soccer mom.
I always bring it up in a mockingly bitter tone when my future is being discussed with out my input.
One time after I did, my sister said that an emotion is visible on my face every time I say something about it and that emotion is pride.
She's right.
It's because I can't think of anything better to do with my life then raising a happy family.
It's also because they believe I'll be good at it.
I bring it up in a bitter way because I hate being so predictable.
I am actually accepted by both the pirate and ninja communities.
I have never lost an ugly face war.
I would almost always rather listen to oldies music than the music from the decade I was actually born.
I write in my journal almost every single day.
Sometimes I read it and realize how far I've come.
Sometimes I read it and laugh.
Sometimes I read it and want to throw it away because no one should have to read THAT!
But I never do.
Because what if my great grandchildren read it and can relate to my craziness?
I'll tell you what. They'll know that they are doomed to become like the giggling old lady in a rocking chair that pinches their cheeks and won't stop talking about rainbows and butterflies.
Sometimes I have panic attacks.
Don't worry, it's rare and I'm learning how to keep it under control.
I love hugs.
I love rings.
I love collages.
I love photo booths.
I can sew a pillowcase.
I can bake some great chocolate chip cookies.
I can't take a shower that lasts longer than 15 minutes.
My favorite colors are yellow, orange, and green. They are the happiest colors. Friendly.
More of my personality comes out when I'm extremely tired.
I have a razor scooter with a basket and bell. I ride it often.
I will never half-heartedly commit to something that's important to me. Sometimes I'm even a bit of a perfectionist.

The Benchers

2008-09-01T16:22:00.005-06:00

In high school, there was this bench. It was right outside of the cafeteria. "The Bench" is where I spent my lunch hour every day during my junior year. It was more than just a bench. We formed friendships and memories there.

I remember one day, after school, we sat on the bench and talked for a few. We all ended up on the floor, unable to stop laughing. I can't remember why.

This is the last of The Benchers. Missions are wonderful, but I already miss those friends.

Caley, Cam, Laney, Megan, Bridget, Dave, Sam, Mike (not a bencher, but still awesome)

Every once in a while, The Benchers get together and have a cereal party. A cereal party is usually on a Saturday morning or a holiday, such as today. It consists of unlimited supply of cereal, cartoons, movies, video games, friends, laughter, and silliness. Pajamas are required. It wasn't quite the same with out this guy today. He left in early August.

This kid is bangarang.

Eighteenth

2008-09-01T14:41:00.009-06:00

Surprise! The festivities started early with six close besties and this, on Friday afternoon.

"My name is Optimus Prime. We are autonomous robotic organisms from the planet Cybertron."

New boyfriend? Perhaps. Oh, who am I kidding? How can you resist those guns? (Haha! Get it?!)

Pinata! Pinata! Pinata!

I wish I had taken a picture of all who were there. My friend from Layton drove all the way here just for me. I'm loved.

Saturday was a happy birthday! It started with a delicious breakfast with Laney and Caley. Got distracted on the way home and went for a test drive.

Sasha.

The sky looks cool through the mirror.

Then I saw it again. I will never tire from that movie. Ever.

I will never ever ever grow up.

A friend of a friend was having a back to school party. That's where I met the teeter totter. Also where I met a new friend. From Australia. With an accent. Yep, that just happened. I wish I could talk like that. Or maybe I just wish I could hear people talk like that all the time.

One of my favorite birthdays. Throughout the day I said many things like, "Can you drive? It's my birthday." or "You should let me eat some of your french fries. Why? Because it's my birthday."

I got two other surprises here and here. Thank you! =)

And one of my best friends sent me this.

Yep. It fits.

Song of the day. -- OH MY AWESWOME!

A catch up

2008-08-26T23:01:00.012-06:00

It's been a while. I know. Last week was very busy. Family events galore. Most of them in honor of these two people loving each other.

My brother, Chris, and his new wife, Ashley.

I got a niece out of that happy day. Ashley's two-year-old daughter, Destiny. She has our entire family wrapped around her finger. This was taken the Sunday before the wedding with her Pooh. Or PB as she calls him.

You are my sunshine.

Elle and Destiny.

And another recent picture.

Don't freak. I took it at a stoplight.

And tomorrow is my first day of college. People ask me if I'm nervous, or excited, or what? I tell them I don't know. I really try not to think about it. I try not to get eager for much of anything so as to not let myself down.

Like birthdays. My eighteenth is approaching quickly. I fear a let down. I smell disappointment.

I wish I were small again and let downs didn't exist. I could wear a cardboard tiara with my sunshiny hair resting on my shoulders and blow out a handful of candles on a cake with Winnie the Pooh characters on it. All would be lovely.

But since then, I have experienced. The memories from past years have made me cautious when it comes to the 30th. A memory of anticipation. Someone is planning a surprise. It's a happy one. And I'm surrrre to love it! And all my friends will be going to the pool and playing and sliding and splashing and laughing. And there will be a mermaid on my cake! And I will have my big fluffy beach towel to lay on. Oh, but that year it rained on my birthday. All day long. No outside for me.

And a few years later my bestest!friend!ever! went to California and bought my present there. She just knows I'll love it! -- Sorry, love. Not my style. Or size. Didn't wear it once. The friendship didn't last. But not because of my birthday.

And it's not that all my birthdays have been terrible. I've only learned my lesson, that's all. Don't think about it. Don't wonder. Don't daydream. Don't get your hopes up for something great. You'll only be let down.

Last year was a great one. But let's not talk about that. Those are memories that will only make me miss my friend more.

There have been many good ones along the way. Enough for me to still believe in good birthdays.

But part of me wants this year to be just like any other day. Because what if it rains on my pool party? What if a wonderful!surprise! turns out to be a lame jacket? What if I lose another friend? Because it's Doyle's birthday too. I don't want it forgotten. What if I'm continually misunderstood as I often feel I am?

The other part of me wants to do something like this or this. Because I can. And because it looks like freedom to me. Just so you all know, my mother just began holding her abdomen and rocking herself back and forth, wincing. Because just the thought of me jumping from high altitudes makes her want to stop whatever she's doing and race me to the nearest tattoo parlor to get something ridiculous permanently etched into my forehead because anything would be better than this. Also because she knows it's a safe offer and that I will always refuse a needle.

But, in all honesty, I'm not hard to please. I don't need something extravagant, or outrageous. I don't WANT it. I'm a very simply person. All I want is memories with the people I love. Smiles and laughter. Friendship and comfort. Hugs and small talk.

Songs of days that have passed.

"The other night, dear, as I lay sleeping I dreamt I held you in my arms." -I don't know her. But I like the way she sings this.

"They don't know what I've been through like you do." - I love the emotion in her voice.

"Why oh why can't I?" -- I saw one the other day. I wanted to chase it. Find where it touched the earth. The party pooper I was with made fun of me. No worries, I stopped hanging around that poser.

"Write down the thoughts of the moment. Those that come unsought for are commonly the most valuable."
--Francis Bacon

One of my favorite things about summer nights

2008-08-15T23:12:00.006-06:00

I sit on the deck, listening to the cool, summer wind blow. I smell the atmosphere that the night has created for me. I look around. The lights of the valley tell me I'm one of the few who decided to stay home tonight. To the east I see a small hint of light, peering around the corner of the mountain to me. It grasps my attention. Captured.

Don't be shy, I silently tell the light. We're good friends by now, are we not? How many summer nights have we spent together over the years? Too many to count, I presume.

Do you remember the summer we went to Bryce Canyon? You were so big there. Many of our friends, the stars, came as well. I sat on a big rock and looked at you for some time. I asked myself so many questions that night. I didn't go inside the tent until the wind showed me the goosebumps that had made their home on my skin for who knows how long and my eyelids became so heavy that will power alone couldn't lift them.

That was the same summer I met my best friend. You were there. Do you remember the night you lit the park for us to play catch with our sticks? Later you hid behind a cloud so we could rest and swing on the playground and talk about our hopes and dreams.

What about the night we watched fireworks on the cool grass? Or when we climbed trees in the dark? Do you remember my favorite night from that summer?

"Dude, check the moon" the text would say when you were full and bright like you are tonight. Every time, I would drop whatever I was doing and run outside to see you. I still do. You are mesmerizing.

Is that summer the reason I'm so fascinated? Is it the friendship I formed that makes your fullness fill me with joy?

That soft, cool wind picks up, bringing me back to reality. I wrap my sweater around me as I finish my stroll down Memory Lane and turn onto Reality Road. As I pass Sesame Street, I'm tempted to bring Oscar something sweet to soften his grouchiness.

Whoever you are, you're too kind

2008-08-12T21:45:00.006-06:00

Do you remember when I wanted a pair of glasses but didn't buy them and regretted it? Let's just say that someone out there loves me. Because these were in a box with my name on them on my doorstep today. There is no way to know who it's from.

Not just the fake glasses but the sunglasses, too.

Yes, people, someone out there does love me. Someone who reads this blog and knows where I live. Someone who wants to make me feel special and loved. Yes, yes, I feel all warm and fuzzy on the inside. All nerdy, and old school on the outside.

Mystery Giver, you made me so happy I actually smiled for the camera. What a concept!

Behind me? On the wall? It says, "I believe in fairies". I do, indeed! I also believe in the greatness of humanity. Oh, Mysterious One! You shouldn't have! But thank you very much anyways.

"Remind me not to go there, the weather affects my knee." - Song of the day.

A weekend of besties

2008-08-10T22:39:00.002-06:00

My friend came home from college. For good. I'm so happy. I didn't realize how much I missed her until I saw her again. She's my home girl. Friday we filled our tummys, had a sparkling conversation, and saw this. She hadn't seen it yet so of course we had to go. I loved it the second time too. We laughed so hard. And then when I saw her next, I stood and yelled, "Will ya look at what the tide brought in?" And then we giggled.

One of my dear friends came for a visit on Saturday. We (him, me, other friend) went to all night bowling. They turned the lights out and put on those funky ones that make everything glow. I'm a terrible bowler. But I did win two glow sticks during the little game by getting two strikes. It was the first time I've enjoyed bowling in a long time. We chatted and reminisced. Missed our best friend together. (It's been eight months, only sixteen left. Not that I'm counting or anything....) He misses him more than he shows. I can tell by the way he talks about him. I wonder if I use the same tone when his name is brought up. If my face has the same expression. I try not to show it if I'm sad.

I decided that bowling shoes are the bee's knees.

And today. Was just splendid. It was wonderful and uplifting. I was so thirsty for spirit and warmth. I'm filled to the brim.

Song of the day. - That sweater! Goodness.

Brain+Fingers=Blog

2008-08-08T18:07:00.005-06:00

I've been thinking a lot about a number of things lately. Basically, my life. What am I doing with it?

What kind of girl am I? What kind do I want to be? What kind of woman do I want to become?

What should I study in college? Should I do what is fun? What makes me drool? Or should I be more practical and choose something that will pay well and I can still enjoy?

Will I ever get to explore the world? How will it start? Study abroad? Volunteer? Heck, Peace Corp? I do desire to travel.

Where will I find my balance? I don't want any one thing to tie me down. I want to learn and grow. Love those around me and help them and learn from them. Improve myself to form who I want to be. Who DO I want to be?

I want to be charitable, kind, loving, caring, empathetic, joyful, helpful, adventurous, spontaneous, wise, teachable, athletic, encouraging, strong, lovely, creative, artistic, colorful, perceptive, observant, inspirational, ardent....

These characteristics remind me of someone. An Earth Angel. Most of everything I want to be more like her. She's simply wonderful. But it's much more complex than that. I wish I had gotten the chance to see her through my older, more insightful and ready eyes.

Having said that, I'm thrilled to have other inspirational women influencing my life. Like my moms and three sisters. My aunts and many cousins. Neighbors and friends. Grandma Lucy.

Too many to name. Too many to count.

They say that sharing is caring

2008-08-07T23:14:00.009-06:00

I've been listening to some really (in my opinion) awesome music lately. I would like to share a few songs. In no particular order.

1. This band is for my mellow mood. When my universe is going crazy and I need a moment to just soak it all in. Their style, lyrics, voices make me feel like all will turn out alright. It all mushes together for me to tune to my core and focus on the things in nature and life that make me push up onto my toes to better use all of my senses. Good for singing along to as well. Haven't always been much of a folk fan. Who knew? My favorites:

2. This girl is awesome.

Reminds me a little of her voice.

By the way, where would one go about buying a CD of her music? I mean, does such a wonder exist? Also, the movie of her life is very intriguing. To say the least.

3. This one is such a great cover. I've always loved Norah. She makes me feel music on a new level.

4. I think I will always love this one.

5. I love her voice. If I were to ever pursue writing and performing, I think I would sound a little like this. I don't think I ever would actually try, but what do you think?

6. I feel like this sometimes. I think everyone does. I love the strings!

7. I haven't always loved Sheryl. But right now? I totally am. I think we have a lot in common, Sheryl and I. We like little kids, parks, and sunshine.

8. This one makes me dance.

9. Oh, yes. And this one.

10. And to finish it off, I'll leave you with this wonderful girl whose music I don't have yet.

I love that her piano is falling apart. And that she wrote on it. Love it.

I hope I didn't bore you too much.

The ultimate happy list

2008-08-07T20:14:00.004-06:00

Friend gave me the assignment to make this list, mine is very similar. I love it. Friend gave me another creative "assignment" and I drool just thinking about it. Will post when I get around to it.

Family-Sorry that you're stuck with me forever. Suckas!
Best Friends-Saved many a gloomy day
Summer-and everything that goes with it. Sunshine, rain, twinpops, swimming, sunglasses, and freedom
Books-ranging from Calvin and Hobbes (see:Best Friends), novels, poetry, inspirational biographies, scriptures, and even picture books
Movies and Movie Theaters-just good times
Quotes-always give me that extra UHMPH to get things done
Music-truly inspirational and can turn any day around
Lacrosse-"Not so much an obsession as a fascination. How true it rings." It's just fun.
Skittles, Red Vines, and Gummy Bears-The source of all superpowers and true happiness
Food-ALL of it.

The song of the day pretty much defines me. This version is superb as well.

"Little darling... It's alright."

My my, I could never let you go

2008-07-26T21:24:00.004-06:00

I went to MAMMA MIA! with my Mamma Mia. I couldn't really stop laughing. And I didn't want to. It was that good. Of course, it doesn't take much to entertain me. I mean, I'm the girl who can tell her favorite joke repeatedly and still think it's the funniest thing ever. What's my favorite joke? I'll tell you.

Me: Okay, okay. Ask me if I'm an orange.
You: Are you an orange?
Me: (Fit of ab working laughter, ferocious shake of the head) No!

Can I live in Greece? I fell in love. The way the sun shined off the water. The aged hotel. Everything was so white. Mixed with blue. Art. Simply Beautiful.

I decided this song will forever be able to put me in a good mood when I'm feeling down. And this one. Oh, boy.

My favorite part about the movie? It started a conversation about music, family, and life lessons that made my heart smile.

Other things I did today:

Went to a volunteer meeting for this.
Bought a shirt and a swimsuit.
Gave my spleen to food poisoning. On a date. The most embarrassing thing that has ever happened to me. And I'm not easily embarrassed.

Song of the day.

Canyon

2008-07-25T21:23:00.005-06:00

Six of us went long boarding/scootering down Provo canyon tonight. Oh, the beauty. There was a fire at Bridal Veil. (Don't worry, we didn't start from that far up.) Made me miss my brother.

We decided to form ourselves into a gang. The long board/scooter gang of Provo canyon. We pretty much owned that mountain tonight.

We seemed to just glide down the paved path at a comfortable speed. Fast enough for the feeling of freedom to sink in. Slow enough to look around and really see my surroundings.

Rain. The only thing that could have made it better. Just one of those light sprinkles that lightly mist your face and make the rocks smell like summer. There's something different about the world on summer nights. It makes my brain ponder. It makes my heart race. It makes my soul feel connected to something bigger. Nature.

Sprinklers. We found some. She and I ran through them while the others watched in hidden envy.

The complexities of the human mind are intriguing.

2008-07-21T22:36:00.008-06:00

Thoughts. Why? Why does one person think this way and another the opposite? Why does one person act this way and the other the opposite?

I am intrigued by others' minds. And lately mine as well.

Sometimes I forget to think. I slip back into old habits of just existing and speaking and doing and breathing. I forget to think about it. I forget to think about the people around me and paying attention to their facial expressions, and body language and tone. I forget empathy. I forget service and selflessness and fall back on my childish routines of selfish acts.

But then sometimes I do remember. And I think about every little thing before I do it. And then I look at the results of my actions and I learn and grow from it.

Curious question that has been dancing around my head for some time. On a daily basis, are your thoughts words? Are they sentences that tie together as if you are having a conversation with yourself? Or are they perhaps pictures and smells and memories? Or do your thoughts even have a form? Do they float around in your head like spirits: unseen, unheard, yet their presence is still felt. Somehow. Do they brace up against your cheek, light as a feather, until you find the words to voice them? Do your opinions and beliefs surprise you when you finally put them into words to speak to someone. Do you find yourself thinking, "I didn't realize I actually felt that way. I just said it. It must be true on some subconscious level."

On an unrelated topic, I'm beginning to believe that there is no such thing as chance. I believed this on some level before, but now this belief is stronger. Everything happens for a reason. Everything. I think we question things about life, the world, ourselves, and life has a way of bringing the answers to us in unexpected ways. But it's not just life that gives us answers. It's something much larger and more powerful than life.

Follow your heart and see where it might take you

2008-07-16T18:38:00.003-06:00

It's been too long, I know. I've had things to talk about here but I've forgotten most of them. Here is what I remember.

Me likey the Sobe.

Do you ever get so freaked out and nervous that your stomach and your heart decide to switch places? Except your stomach goes to your throat? I was surprised they didn't run into each other on their way to making me franticly search for an escape route. I was completely distracted the rest of the day. I almost stole the basket from the store when I walked out. I felt like taking a nap. It was weird.

What else? Oh, I got a job. It happened very quickly. I like it. We listen to very random music when we work. One minute it's rap, the next it's country, then pop, then some acoustic guitar. And everyone sings to all of it. Mostly. It makes me laugh.

I'm getting lots better at whistling! I don't look like a duck anymore. My goal is to be able to whistle "Happy Birthday" to myself on my birthday. "Whoa, dream big!"

My twitter today didn't work. It was supposed to say, "It almost makes me sad that I don't seem to fit in with girls, but then I remember how much I HATE THEM. And then I call a guy and say... Hey dude, wanna try and beat me in basketball?"

So, I'm going to go play basketball now. Or something like that. Whatever. =)

Sunshine! Ahhh.

Song of the day. -LOVE THIS SONG.

Today I...

2008-07-10T18:34:00.009-06:00

listened to this song (hello, hello. HOLA!)
looked at pictures
wished I could fly-for numerous reasons
learned more about this fantastic inspiration
went to Juice Press
received a "special assignment"
went on a mobile stakeout for sprinklers
ran through them
giggled with friends
updated my iPod
giggled some more
took pictures
ate two string cheeses... let's make that three
pondered about summer, the love I have for all my friends (including you, yes, you), and music
wondered what my 20-year-old face will look like
30-year-old?
40?
washed it

"Fill your paper with the breathings of your heart." ~William Wordsworth

I think it's TOTALLY AWESOME that his last name is WORDSworth, don't you?

Song of the day. Lyrics.

My favorite season drew me a picture

2008-07-10T00:37:00.003-06:00

It's still wet. =)

Just kidding. Summer didn't draw this, I did. This is what Summer does to me. She sweetly whispers to me when I'm feeling bored and tells me to do creative things like paint her the way I see her at that exact moment. In this case, a butterfly inside of a heart. I did it with my fingers.

Finger painting! Did you forget about this too? I forgot all about it. This is what Summer looks like to me today. I wonder what tomorrow will look like.

Accomplishments

2008-07-09T22:57:00.007-06:00

What I accomplished today:

I washed my car and vacuumed it out. I've never seen her look so beautiful. Seriously. She looks gooood. Like, way good. Like, that car that you see driving up the road in the picture? Yeah, totally checking her out. Hot.

See? Look at her shiny curves glisten in the light of the sunset. Attractive.

Washing my car got me in a cleaning frenzy. I went crazy. I cleaned my room and it looks and smells great.

I organized the bookshelf next to my bed. Just in case you were wondering, I have two book shelves. The one by my bed is smaller and I only keep the books I'm currently reading on it.

Ten points goes to whoever knows what the thin white book is.

These books? Yeah, I've been reading some of them since December. I just have so many I want to read. So I get distracted. And i.just.want.to.read.them.all.ok? Okay? OKAY?!!

No, I was not snarling just then. Okay, maybe I was. I'm just really passionate about books. And when I can't read them all I get frazzled and depressed and maybe a little bit Insane.

Deal with it.

I decided to organize them in a rainbow-ish order. I think it will serve as an offering to the Sun Gods to help me get into summer reading mode and finish them. Maybe?

As I was cleaning my room, I found a project that I started a few weeks ago and just never finished. So when I completed the organization my bookshelf, I finished it. It feels good to finish things. I like the feeling of finished.

It's called Giant Journaling, this project of mine. I'm almost proud of this one. I mean, it's not as ugly as others I've attempted to create. I kinda like it.

Whoa, people. WHOA. I'm not proud enough to post a picture of it. You think I'm that comfortable with myself?

Well, maybe I am. But just not this one. I'll make another one soon and post a picture. But only if you really want. Deal? And the way I'll know if you really, truly, deeply want to see a picture of it is if you comment that you want to see it. But that's the only way I can know. Sound good? Good.

And what else will I do today? I don't know. I've been having trouble sleeping lately. But now I figure, if I'm going to be awake, I might as well be doing something relatively productive. I already feel a lot better about myself. You know, creating things instead of sitting there, staring at the wall. Thoughts?

I'm sitting on the floor right now. I've been sitting on the floor since I began organizing my bookshelf. Which was approximately... an hour ago. Time for bed.

Song of the day.

P.S. Want to know how big of a Disney nerd I am? I put my iPod on shuffle and got really, really excited when this song came on. I mean, the fact that it's on my iPod should be enough evidence. But then I just got so.excited.

To my family...

2008-07-06T17:51:00.006-06:00

I love you. I was sitting and just thinking today and I felt the need to let you know how much. A few weeks ago, I tried to put into words how lucky I feel to have MY family. I also wrote, a while before, that we see ourselves differently than other people see us. Well, this is how I see you, Family, whether you care to read this or not.

Mom, you are such a support to me. I love how no matter what, you are behind me, backing me up 100%. I love our conversations. They range from silly things that make us giggle for days to deep, thought-provoking insights and and life principles. Always uplifting. You are so strong in my eyes. A hero. You're my Buffy.

Dad, sometimes you get this look on your face and the only way I know how to describe it is complete joy. I love it. Your face just lights up. Smiles come so naturally for you. I love how we both get a kick out of the little things in life. I love that I inherited your passion for music along with many other things.

Mom (2), I love that I almost refuse to call you my stepmom. (In fact, the only time I use the word "step" is when I have to explain to people the intricate details of who's technically related to who in my family.) I love how we both seem to enjoy the sun more than most things on this planet. I aspire to have your ability to "throw something together" and have it taste as splendidly as Thanksgiving dinner.

Jim, I love your silly sense of humor. Sometimes, Mom and I pretend it gets on our nerves but we secretly love it. I don't think you give yourself enough credit. You work harder than anyone I know. I don't say thank you enough. Thank you. Oh, and thanks again for killing that spider that tried to eat me the other day. It was looking pretty grim before you showed up.

Kenna, I think you know this already, but I look up to you in so many ways. To name a few: your ability to make something beautiful out of a blank Photoshop document, your pictures, your coolness factor in the Mommy department, your sense of humor, your way with words. I love that we're friends.

Steve, I truly enjoy being your little sister that you never really got. I love how excited you get about a game, or a treat, or a movie, or just anything fun. I love how you love my sister.

Carter, I love how easily you laugh. I love how you've always had a gut-busting laugh. I love how you say RAWR. I love how proud you are of yourself for being able to walk now. I'm just as proud. I'm so excited for jumbled noises turn into words and full sentences.

Chris, I love how thoughtful you are. You're just so sweet. I'm so excited for the new additions to our family that we get through you. So so excited.

Austin, I love your little sayings. They usually don't make much sense but I love them. I love how when I hug you, my head fits perfectly just under your shoulder. I love when you pick me up and everything on the ground is so far away that it makes my tummy hurt but then you just make me laugh. And then I don't want to go down, even though it makes me nervous to be so high. I miss you, Austie B.

Mel, I love your bluntness. If something is on your mind, you'll pretty much just say it. I miss when we would go on random crazy adventures, like changing the words on a sign, or doing jumping jacks in our closet. I even miss when you would throw beef jerky at me because I wouldn't turn out the light. But I love you now even more. I love how awesome you are as a Mother. I look up to you and Ken a lot in that department. It makes me excited to have kids of my own someday. I love how we can still talk about whatever all the time.

Rayder, I love getting to watch you every week. We have so much fun. I love when you see food, you realize how hungry you are and reach out your chubby fists to grab the spoon. I love that your favorite toy is a plastic hanger. I love your smile.

Elle, I love how we both think the really silly things are the funniest. And how we can laugh about the same thing over and over again. I love that you look to me for help when you need it. Remember I'm always here for you; I'll always try my best to be a good big sister. You are so talented!

To Cousins, Aunts, Uncles, Grandparents (whether you read this or not), I love you. I look up to you all. I see your strength, compassion, patience, understanding, love, humility, service, and sense of adventure and I look up to you too.

Family, You are shiny stars to me. I aspire to be more like you. I learn more about myself everyday. I'm at a stage in my life when I need to figure out who I am and who I want to become. As I look at you, Family, I want to take all the things I love about each of you and become all those things. I'm so lucky I got you. I'm. So. Lucky. No one could fill the void if any one of you weren't here in my life.

Sorry for filling this blog with so much cheese. I just want you all to know how much I love and appreciate you.

Fire

2008-07-04T19:48:00.001-06:00

My Independence Day was spent at the Stadium of Fire in Provo. Blue Man Group and Miley Cyrus performed. It was so cool. Blue Man Group was kind of weird. But I love weird. So it was great! And I like Miley. I'm not ashamed to admit it. But my highlight of the night were these.

It was so entrancing. I love fireworks. I felt my hear go POP POP POP along with them. Like I was watching a band play, feeling my heart pulse to the drummers rhythm. Beating in unison. My heart popped with the fireworks. Wonderful.

So, how did you spend your 4th.

Song of the day. It's pretty catchy. Silly.

Fun fun FUN in the SUN

2008-07-01T18:42:00.000-06:00

At first she was against the idea. Because she was tired and feeling lazy. She just wanted to drive there. Pff... How square is that? Cool kids don't go with the norm. I explained how much fun it would be. The wind in our hair, the sunshine, the laughter, not to mention saving on gas. And by some sort of miracle... she agreed to it.

Take a moment and try to imagine my excitement... You can't. Sorry.

We quickly changed our clothes and threw sunglasses, a towel, and tanning lotion into two light backpacks. We dug up a pair of bikes and then we rode them to the public pool. I felt like I was in this movie. When they put a radio in the handlebar basket and sing as they ride.

We hooked my iPod up to speakers and hung them outside of her backpack. We snickered and sang. All the while, wondering how we came to be so fabulous. It was an adventure to say the least.

I love this picture. I love it. I love it. I love it. Not sure why.

At one point one of us said, "I love how we're graduated so we can do things like this and it makes us cool. Not lame." I know, Right?!

I wasn't aware she was taking this picture. Not bad.

Later, I rode over to her house. She sent me a text when I got there.

L: Come in through my window.
M: What?
L: Come in through my window.
M: Okay.

Didn't see a single bug. Phew!

And then! Then we went to a friends house. And played shuffle board. I kid you not, my friends. Shuffle Board. It was fantastic. My team lost. Miserably.

After, we went to a BIRTHDAY PARTY! "We're going to a party. It's a birthday party. It's your birthday party. Happy birthday, Darling. We love you very, very, very, very, very, very, very much." (Did I not tell you that my brain is a jukebox? Oh. Well, it is.)

We ate yummy cake and ice cream. And played scum. One girl was President the entire time. Except the very.last.round. When I dethrowned her. (Yes, I know that's not a word.) But Ha!

And there you have it. My very adventurous, summer day. There are many many more to come...

Song of the day.

This blog thing is turning into a journal. I might as well just throw out paper for good.

2008-06-29T18:01:00.005-06:00

I went to the funeral last night. I won't bore you with details except I have never heard the song "Army of Helaman" sung in such a melancholy way. The youth, which took up over half of the seats in the chapel and the cultural hall, got up and sang that song for the opening hymn. I saw many of my good friends with shiny eyes and quivering lips, trying to hold it all in. Singing with them went on my list as one of the hardest things I've done.

After the funeral, some kids in my ward went to the pool. One of them is a manager so he got the whole pool just for his friends. It's been so long since I've been to the pool, I forgot how much I love swimming and jumping and splashing and playing and sliding. It helped me forget about all the things that have been bothering me lately.

Highlight of the night: Playing water basketball with the guys. Not to brag or anything, but I totally dominated. Blocked shots. Made shots. It was fun. We even made plays. (Be proud Coach T.) I played with the boys and beat them. And then I gloated. And now I won't let any of them live it down. I can't help it if I'm so awesome that I can beat them. (ha-ha) Needless to say it was a blast and a half.

Song of the day. -- Kind of a cheesy version but you get the idea.

Hmmm

2008-06-28T10:48:00.005-06:00

I think I've been avoiding my blog lately. This week kind of went crazy on me.

A boy who went to my high school took his own life on Wednesday. Heartbreaking. I didn't know him very well. But I did know him. I can't help but wonder the "What ifs". What if I could have done something to help him? But I wouldn't have known to reach out to him because he seemed like one of the happiest kids I knew. He was the one bringing comic relief to the crowd. Always had a smile on his face. I stole his ring pop at a football game. He chased me down and stole it back. We then proceeded to cheer our classmates to a victory.

Things like this make me think. Carpe Diem, right? He died at 17. It makes me think how fragile life is. I'll remember him.

On a brighter note, I got two awesome books this week. One of them will be a coffee table book when I move out. Just call me a hippie. Because I am. "All you need is love." It's very awesome. It's... gooeyooeyastic! (I make up words sometimes. Deal with it.) The other, well, lets just say I think this guy is becoming one of my idols.

I'm thinking that the guys who sang to me on my run this morning are calming. Knocked some sense and reason into me. It just gave me a good start for the day. I'm looking up. Still slightly melancholy, pondering. But good.

Song of the day. --Awesome, right? It fits me today.

I used to rule the world

2008-06-24T21:57:00.004-06:00

I haven't had much to say. At all. My brain is kind of empty. Here are some randoms.

I have two kneecaps on my left knee. A.K.A. west nile virus. I can't NOT scratch it.
I'm sick of being in between right now. In between school and a job. In between dreams and reality. Sleep and awake. In between people with bad communication skills. And more.
My brain really isn't empty. Just most of the stuff inside I don't really care to share with the world.
I'm considering sending something to Postsecret. Just for fun. MWA HAHA.
"Life's too serious to be taken seriously."
I think this book that I'm reading is making me think funny. I think I'll finish it pronto to get it out of my system. Good idea.
I find people very very interesting. There's so much I don't know about people. Even people I know pretty well. I'm just curious.
Two words: Tuna Cheesies.

That's all. I've resolved that I need to go on more walks, have more adventures, and try more new things. What do you think? I don't know. I think I just feel like I'm wasting my days. Probably because I'm STILL JOB SEARCHING.

Song of the day. -- It's just GOOD MUSIC. I love everything about this song. The instruments and how they work together to create climax, energy, emotion. The lyrics. How everything fits together. I love it all. My favorite right now.

P.S. "There are few things more pathetic than those who have lost their curiosity and sense of adventure."
~Gordon B. Hinckley

I really like that.

An apology, a loving family, a cosmotologist, her brother, a ramble, a victory, a question, oh, and one more apology

2008-06-17T22:53:00.009-06:00

So, I've been home since Sunday. Sorry if any of you worried about my not blogging. You probably sat there wondering if I died in a freak car accident just moments after I crossed the state line. You probably shed a tear or two. Probably. I apologize. I'm alive. To make up for causing you so much grief, I'll ramble on a lot in this post. Mostly because I feel like it. But is that really making up for anything? No. It probably makes it worse. In that case, feel free to ignore this post.

First things first, I'm so glad I got home in time to go to the Father's day BBQ. I love my family. I missed you all so much. So much. I thoroughly enjoy your company. Sometimes I look around at all of you and think, "Wow. I am so lucky. I can't believe I got THEM." Really. I couldn't ever want anything different about my family. Love. Much of it.

I had a hair appointment today. That girl is awesome. She makes hair look so easy. Also, she still (still!) thinks I'm going to marry her brother. Who is on a mission. Who I have never met. And I probably won't. Sorry. I bet he'll come home and I'll be in a non-dating phase. Like now. Because I feel one of those coming on. No more silly boys. I just want to read or something instead.

Anyways, I'll be in this anti-boy mood. Then a few months later, (like say... January 2010?) I'll magically come out of it. And by magic I mean that one person will come home. I'll catch up with my best friend. And run through fields of daisies. And find rainbows. And chase clouds. And eat ice cream. And float around, hanging from a bouquet of balloons.

And of course somewhere in my future lies twelve kids and a perfect garden that everyone wants to... ruin. Because it's so perfect. Too perfect. Same with my house. (Because it will be neat and tidy always.) And my twelve kids. (And by twelve you meant six, right?) And me. And my husband. All perfect. Because me? Yeah, I'm so perfect. Always.

Do you remember when I predicted that the Celtics would be NBA champions? I think I may have mentioned it in passing. Well they won. I have a sixth sense. Sometimes I just know things.

So my question of the day is this. Am I still so perfect when I take gloating to my friend, a Laker's fan, about Boston's victory too far?

Didn't think so. Sorry.

Day Six: Symbols of the country=lovely

2008-06-14T19:12:00.009-06:00

I'm pretty much at a loss for words to describe today. I'll let pictures do it. First things first.

Oh, baby.

Then we saw this awesomeness. I was in awe, gaping.

This picture does nothing.

I wanted to do the hike up there. Very badly. But time, or lack thereof, made it impossible.

I scratched my knee climbing up there. Battle wound.

Pretty much, this guy is a genius.

He said that a third of the time spent on Jefferson was in refitting or relocating it so the nose wouldn't have a crack in it. Rad.

And that's basically it. We drove and drove the rest of the day. And we finished our book yesterday. We just had music. It didn't fly by. Bummer. Tomorrow is home. Yipee!

Song of the day.

Day Five: My lucky day.

2008-06-13T20:17:00.015-06:00

We wanted to go to the National Music Museum yesterday, but it had closed. So we stopped for the night and went this morning.

Buildings like this intimidate me.

They had headphones and a hand-held player so you could hear what the different instruments sound like in every gallery of the museum. It was beautiful. And fantastic.

Absolutely gorgeous.

Looking at those pianos, my fingers itched to touch. I wanted to sit and let my fingers dance along, playing some unknown melody. I bit my lip instead.

I wanted to hug it and smell it and play it. Simultaneously.

This was awesome. The colors, the patterns, the turns.

Doo-doo-DOO! Doo-da-doo.

And this. Well. This just made my Friday the 13th.

All you need is love.

Then we were driving, and billboards taunted us every couple of miles. Clever. Using phrases like, "Prepare to be a-maiz-ed!" and "You're almost ear!". We couldn't resist. We just couldn't!

Corn. Corn corn corn.

Ladies and Gentlemen, I present to you the world's only corn palace. All those pictures are made out of CORN.

CORN.IS.EVERYWHERE.

Did I mention corn? No? Huh. Well, CORN.

Naturally, we followed them.

They led to this.

If I knew anything about photoshop, my sister's heads would be in the two empty holes.

And a store at which I bought the coolest ring ever. And earrings. Awesome.

What a charmer. His name is Zack.

Somewhere between the Corn Palace and where we've stopped for the night, I was thinking about this trip. I wondered why I was enjoying this so much. I mean, most people wouldn't be too thrilled about driving across the country with their mom. Especially at my age. So what's so special about this? I was racking my brain for a reason why this is so fulfilling. So inspiring. So meaningful. I came to a few conclusions.

Firstly, Mom and I are connected on this super-natural-mind-reading level. This has made this trip highly enjoyable. We want the same things out of it. Spontaneity. Adventure. Experience.

I want to travel. See the world. This shouldn't be news to any of you. But as I was reading this book, I realized that before I can try to experience other countries and their cultures, I need to experience my own. I grew a desire to see this country. And here I am. Seeing it. Experiencing it. This is so awesome for me because it's the beginning. This is where it all starts. And I am inspired. And bursting with excitement.

Beautiful country.

Song of the day.

P.S. I got invited to this today. Do you hear that? ... Sounds like a woot train. ... WOOT WOOT! =)

Day Four: All shook up.

2008-06-12T19:16:00.011-06:00

We were on the road again by 8 AM this morning. We had only been driving for about a chapter or two of this on CD, when we saw the billboard. We quickly exchanged smiles and a few words of excitement. Twenty miles later, we exited to Nostalgia Ville, USA.

Even wilder dreams came true.

Have mercy.

The second we pulled up, I knew I would like this place. Here's why.

We parked in that very spot. Check that one off my life list.

Like I was saying, many dreams came true inside that store. Like this one.

Didn't buy these. But they have an online store. I think I need them.

And this.

There's a sign with those exact words painted on it on the way to the Slinker farm.

This reminded me of you.

Don't we have coasters like this or something?

And I bought a Beatles light switch cover. I'm very excited about it. It's going on the minute I finish unpacking. (And in just in case that didn't prove it to you, i.am.awesome. and fabulous.)

After spending way too much time in Nostalgia Ville, we got back on the road and pretty much drove the rest of the day with some pit stops along the way. I'll let Mom tell you about her highlight of the day.

By the way, I'm adding more pictures from the store to my side bar. Be excited. Or else.

Song of the day.

Tweet Tweet

2008-06-12T18:32:00.002-06:00

Follow us step-by-step on our trip through twitter. I have updates on my sidebar. Day four post is minutes away. Stay tuned!

Day Three: My wildest dreams come true.

2008-06-11T17:59:00.013-06:00

We left Lexington at a decent hour. Began driving to Louisville while listening to our theme song (among others). Soaking in music, sunshine, and nature. Also enjoying this yummy smelling creature.

Given to us from one of our sponsors.

So, we were driving along. Enjoying the ride. Loving life. We got about halfway through Indiana and spotted a special sign. A very special sign. We exited the freeway. Then, there was another sign.

Try to imagine my excitement. Just try.

Yes, folks, you've got it right. That IS the name of the town. Just you wait. It gets better. We saw ANOTHER sign indicating wondrous adventures. Naturally, we followed it. To this.

A CASTLE?! He has a CASTLE?! Wait, wait wait. A CANDY CASTLE?!

In case you can't read that sign, it says, "Santa's Candy Castle". We bounced. We bounced and bounced and bounced. And then we went inside! And it was fantastic! Words can't describe it.

We signed our names in the book.

That's my name. Right... there! See it? My mom's is right below it.

I wrote him a letter.

I was overcome with joy. Hence the hearts.

And mailed it.

My excitement and joy=incomprehensible.

Gave him a hug.

Probably the coolest thing I've ever done. Probably.

And got a delicious treat!

Frozen hot chocolate. Yum.

This went on my life list of things to do, was accomplished, and crossed off the list. All in a matter of minutes.

We then drove on with a high from our little adventure pulsing through our veins. We sang loud, danced much, and giggled the whole way back to the freeway. After a few hours we stopped at a Walmart and met one of the coolest guys ever. Just made me laugh. And now we are dead. D.E.A.D. DEAD.

To be continued...

Day Two: A whole lot of... not much.

2008-06-10T20:24:00.004-06:00

Today we went to Walmart. As you probably already knew. Nothing too terribly exciting today. For me at least.

Random bits from the day include:

Kentucky is hot. Really hot. Even Kentucky's cold is hot. I took a shower and the second I stepped outside I felt like I needed another.
I secretly wish I was still seven because then I could get away with wanting Hannah Montana bedding. But I'm not. So I can't. And I don't. Lie. Maybe I want them just a tiny little bit. But not enough to really WANT them want them. You know?
This book is super yummy. I feast on the way she says things. Voice and words. Awesome.
Elaine is tiny. Teeny-tiny. Really. I didn't recognize her at first. But don't you worry. She's still funny as ever.
Suan. You rock. That game thingy? AWESOME. I'm addicted. In fact, the only reason y'all (See that? Right there? It rubs off on me. I love it.) are getting a post is because I was "hogging it" and it was "my turn". Sheesh.
I kid you not, people, we really did have this conversation.

Mom: Turn right, here, do you see?

Meg: Yeah, I see the the signs.

Both simultaneously: I saw the sign. I opened up my ey-- (giggle, giggle, chortle, laugh, laugh.)

Tomorrow, we ship off! Woot! We planned our route today. I know, livin' on the edge, baby. We have two major tourist spots we are stopping for. They are a bit out of our way, but we think it's worth the few extra hours. It just means longer driving days and no other stopping for tours. But don't worry, I made Mom promise that if something fantastically WT presents itself (Like, say... a fifty foot ball of yarn? Or something.), we're stopping. Free spirits, we are.

Updates tomorrow!

Song of the day. (Please listen to this. And enjoy life the way I do when I hear it and remember my childhood.)

P.S. I so almost typed "Much Love" just then.

Day One: It smells like morning. (Now with pictures.)

2008-06-09T08:06:00.005-06:00

I think the one and only good reason for waking up at the unholy hour of FOUR! A!M! is the sunrise. As we were driving to the airport, the smallest hint of yellow was peering through the lowest valley of the mountain, making me want more. I thought, If I could just jump high enough to peek over the mountain, I would see that huge ball of fire. I imagined that if I stood at the highest peak, I could look down the other side of the mountain and jump. Land on the sun. Ride it up into full daytime. Big, yellow, bouncy ball.

GandG picked us up at the airport and drove us home. Gma told me all about her station and horses and fields and ponds as we drove by them. You see, other people take care of them and she just enjoys them as she drives by. She doesn't have to own them. As long as she gets to enjoy them, they're hers. Of course.

We toured their new house, which is beautiful. Kim came over for a bit to visit. So did Carolyn. Then we toured Carolyn's new house (which is just down the street). Carolyn is so awesome. She has forever mirrors, and a Garfield blanket, and a hoo-la-hoop that goes behind her couch. I imagine she breaks it out rainy days to beat her latest record. Who knows.

These are along the sidewalk leading up to Carolyn's front door.

I love them.

They make me think, "Okay, I think I will."

For some reason when we went to bed, I couldn't sleep. Then there was lightning. No rain. No thunder. Just lightning. I asked Cha Cha if it was possible. They said that supposedly it is, although lightning is formed by water droplets rubbing together so there would have to be humidity and clouds. Makes sense to me. I mean, I feel like I'm drowning every time I step outside. Rad. I pondered for some time on how cool it was. Then the rain and thunder came to sing me to sleep.

Song of the day.

Here

2008-06-07T16:30:00.003-06:00

Summer. Is. Here.

It surprised me the other day that it's really here. I thought, "Wait, after I graduate, the weather gets warm? Really? Like, it becomes summer? Like, I could go swimming if I wanted? Really?! Rad."

All I really have to say about this is finally.

Song of the day.

Summer Road Trip Contests

2008-06-06T17:20:00.002-06:00

I figured it would be redundant to post about all the contests when my mom is doing so beautifully. So, if you haven't been reading her blog too, go check it out. There are contests galore! With Prizes! So awesome, right? I know. All the more reason to not miss out!

Internet, why can't I sleep?

2008-06-04T23:18:00.005-06:00

Disclaimer: This may just be the most random post I've ever created. Please note that I am tired.

oh.my.gosh. BED! Why didn't you tell me you were waiting for me? I was upstairs being really lame and you didn't even call my name. It's okay, I forgive you. Know why? Because you are soooo comfy. Bed, this might sound really weird and random, but as I was preparing to meet you tonight, a series of questions came to mind. They are as follows. Do your ears hang low? Do they wobble to and fro? Can you tie them in a knot? Can you tie them in a bow?

Signed up for something called college today. The sadists who run the establishment claim to be able to arm me with all needed to succeed in this mad, wild world. (Oh baby, baby it's a wild world.) I say, whatever. Maybe because it's late and I'm tired. But seriously? What if I think I can figure the world out on my own? As in, without the pontifications of professors who are oh, so wise. Yes, maybe I'm really just too tired.

"You are a brilliant wizard." -I totally said that today. And! it wasn't considered weird.

My brain is sprinting right now. It's not even accomplishing anything. This frustrates me.

I'm loving her today. A lot. My favorites? This, this, this, and most definitely this. This very possibly sings directly to my heart, reminding me of something I still struggle with.

The Celtics will mutilate the Lakers. I know it. I can feel it in my bones. I have a knack for these types of things. You could go as far as saying I'm psychic. Because I am. Ps- I love you.

I enjoyed quietly harmonizing with my sister today at the office.

I've recently come to realize that because I tend to naturally get along better with guys, the next few years of my life will be spent saying goodbye to my closest friends. For two years. It's already begun and I can feel it continuing as more and more farewells make their appearances on my calender. I don't want to be consoled. I'm just throwin' that one out there.

Attempting sleep now.

Summer Road Trip EXTRAVAGANZA

2008-06-04T10:57:00.004-06:00

Saturday morning my mom and I were talking. She had an idea. We kept saying things like, "Are we crazy to think we can do this?" "Will it work out?" "We could really do this!" "Let's do it!" And by Saturday afternoon we had made the decision.

We fly out to KY early Monday morning. As in THIS COMING MONDAY. (Look at our spontaneity.) And we spend the rest of the week on a ROAD TRIP!, promising to return home safely by the following Sunday.

Here's the deal. We need your help! YOU pick our route. YOU pick our stops. We post our many adventures on our blogs and YOU win prizes! Mom has it all worked out here. So check back to both our blogs every day and you can win prizes and read of our adventure.

By the way, do you love my new blog design? I do. All thanks to Kenna.

Song of the day.

Summer Book Trek 2008

2008-06-01T12:34:00.000-06:00

I'm joining the Summer Book Trek 2008 over on LDS Fiction blog. Looks easy and fun. Plus I was told that I have.to.join. So here I am. If you want to join, read this. Then go here to sign up. kthanksbye.

My list is:

Sun and Moon, Ice and Snow by Jessica Day George
Dragon Flight by Jessica Day George
Meet Your Match by Stephanie Fowers
The Host by Stephenie Meyer
Breaking Dawn by Stephenie Meyer
The 13th Reality: The Journal of Curious Letters by James Dashner

Shuffle game

2008-05-31T12:25:00.009-06:00

Step 1: Put your music player on shuffle.
Step 2: Post the first line or two from the first 20 songs that play, no matter how embarrassing.
Step 3: Strike through the songs when someone guesses both artist and track correctly.
Step 4: For those who are guessing -- looking the lyrics up on a search engine is CHEATING!
Step 5: If you like the game, post your own.

1. "I picture you in the sun, wonderin' what went wrong. You've fallen down on your knees askin' for sympathy."
2. "They cry in the dark so you can't see their tears. They hide in the light so you can't see their fears."
3. "Nananana, nananana. I was walking down the street one day."
~~4. "Sometimes I feel I've got to (duhn duhn!) run away, I've got to (duhn duhn!) get away from the pain that you drive into the heart of me."~~
5. "Looking into your eyes I see all I want to be and I don't want it to end."
6. "I never knew, I never knew that everything was falling through. That everyone I knew was waiting on a cue to turn and run when all I needed was the truth."
~~7. "Just like a star across my sky, just like an angel off the page, you have appeared to my like. Feel like I'll never be the same."~~
8. "I came apart inside a world made of angry people. I found a boy who had a dream, making everyone smile."
9. "Thanks for the times that you've given me, the memories are all in my mind."
10. "It feels right, it feels wrong. It feels like when you have it, then it's gone."
11. "You say you don't know me, you say you don't owe me."
12. "No more talk of darkness, forget these wide-eyed fears."
13. "Bat your eyes girl, be other worldly, count your blessings, seduce a stranger."
14. "And when I see you, I really see you upside down. But my brain knows better, it picks you up and turns you around, turns you around, turns you around.
15. "I cannot find a way to describe it. It's there inside all I do is hide."
~~16. "There was a boy, a very strange, enchanted boy."~~
17. "If there's a prize for rotten judgment, I guess I've already won that."
~~18. "Hey, vibe to vibe a second, it's a club girl why you arrived naked?"~~
19. "Maybe it's time to hold onto one side, one decision. Let go of the hand that holds me high above that great divide."
20. "This may be the last thing that I write for long. Can you hear me smiling when I sing this song for you, and only you?"

This was fun!

Busy bee

2008-05-30T23:29:00.000-06:00

Rode the tracks into SLC to watch this. I decided UTA is my favorite form of transportation. As we rode, I reminisced about my trip to Boston with my radio class.

The KPGR kids at a park.

We took The T everywhere we went. It helped me soak in the culture. The people watching was in great supply on The T. The high school boys riding to a football game with all their gear; the entire crowded subway, including me, randomly breaking into song after a Celtics game (This happened after every sports game we went to. Coincidence? I think not.); the alcohol ad that made a video out of pictures on the wall when we looked out the window. I miss that place. (I realized I never blogged about this. Comment if you want more pictures and stories.)

After the movie, I went to lunch with my coaches and the team captains for next year. Never had Thai food before. I told my coaches they had to teach me how to order in Thai so I could sound cool if I decided to take a date there. Impressive, right? I know.

Later, I went here. It was fantastic and hilarious. So funny that one or two of the actors momentarily broke character to snicker. This, of course, made it even more enjoyable for the audience.

Song of the day.

You say goodbye, and I say hello

2008-05-29T18:57:00.000-06:00

Goodbye classes, teachers, and classmates I don't like. Goodbye homework. Goodbye mystery meat.

My main man.

Sisters, Moms, and Grandma oh, and precious Nephew too.

All my favorite boys.

Goodbye sports, coaches, and the feeling of being part of a team.

Coach T.

Goodbye friends. Goodbye childhood.

Tanika. Did we grow up or what?

In all this hype of bidding farewell, all I want to say is, "Hello world."

Song of the day 1 2 3.

I love

2008-05-21T17:14:00.003-06:00

In this constantly changing world, there are things that I will always love:

Reading something that is so well written, it alters the feeling of my entire day
Laying in the grass
Ice cream and chocolate
Listening to family members reminisce
My legs finding the cold spot on the bed
Music
Making somebody smile before they can try to stop it
The way the world feels on summer nights
The smell and feeling of rain
Salty food that makes me go "mmm", urgently needing more
Stretching
The sound of a grand piano (or the feeling of making the sound)
Acoustic guitars
Singing
Friends trusting my advice enough to come back for more
How easy it is to laugh when surrounded by loved ones
Loved ones

Three things to share today

2008-05-15T16:14:00.003-06:00

1. Yesterday was the Lady Viking Lacrosse banquet. Bittersweet. I love this team so much. This season was absolutely wonderful. It was so much fun to spend time with the girls on my team and just chat and laugh. We promised to have team movie nights this summer. They invited me even though I'm technically not part of the team anymore.

We gave out awards. One silly award for each girl that the captains created. More serious ones that the coaches and captains decided on such as MVP, Most Improved (Defense, Midfield, Attack) Most Valuable (Defense, Midfield, Attack), Queen of Ground Balls, Top Scorer, Most Improved Stick Skills.

Highlight of the night? Sica's face when Coach T announced that she won the MVP award for the team. One word description: Light.

Coach T gave both the captains a rose and a card. Don't know what L's said but mine made me smile. I've had a different lax coach for each year I've played. This one, by far, is my favorite. Perfect in every aspect. I truly look up to her as a person.

2. Stumbled upon this today. So cool. You can even buy books of them. (Wink, wink.)

3. Maybe I miss my friend today. Wait, I miss him every day. Silly me.

Song of the day.

This one is for sorting out my thoughts, not comments, though they are welcome.

2008-05-07T16:11:00.008-06:00

I know it's been a while since I've posted. I guess there's just a lot going on. With graduation coming up, I've been thinking a lot about the future. First off, it's crazy to think that I'll be graduating in less than a month. I feel like it wasn't so long ago when I was in junior high going through the same things little sister is now. No matter how excited I say I am for graduation, I'm just as scared. Right now, it's not in a bad way. Hard to explain.

I've been thinking a lot about this place lately. And I know it's expensive. And I know it's far away. And I know I'm probably getting in way over my head when I say I want to go there. I know all these things. But I can't help it. The second I laid eyes on the brochure 2 years ago, I fell in love. And ever since then, it's been bouncing around my head and because I've always thought it was so out of reach, I pushed it away. Recently it's been brought up for reconsideration and it's all I can think about. The mere idea of this school gets better and better every day to me. I can't help but wonder what it would be like, who I will meet, what I will learn, and all the many adventures I will go on.

My wondering mind seems to get the best of me sometimes. I can't afford not to know. I'm a very curious person. Yes, I am a home body. I'd rather stay home, or close to, on the weekends. I never was much of a party-goer. Having said that, there's this whole other side of me. I'm not quiet, I'm a listener. I'm not shy, I'm an observer. I'm not timid, I'm... curious. I want to embark on a great adventure, as cheesy as it sounds. I really do. It's just something I want. Explore.

No matter how afraid I am of graduating, moving away from home, making these huge decisions; I'm ready. I was serious when I said this and I'm serious now. If I'm going to do something with my life, make it an adventure, why not start now? In fact, if I don't start now, I don't think I ever will.

And if I don't make it to this school, at least I can say I tried my best and I won't have to wonder what could have been.

Song of the day.

Hat trick

2008-04-27T16:20:00.003-06:00

At my game on Friday. Not to brag or anything but I was on some kind of fire and so was my team. I love them. And let me just tell you...

it.was.awesome.

Missed it? If you'd like to see a replay come to this. (Game time has been changed to 6:45 P.M.) Or this.

Hope to see you there!

Song of VICTORY! (We have a dance routine to it. In case you were wondering... Yes, we really are that awesome.)

Good is the enemy of best.

2008-04-27T13:04:00.001-06:00

Words a friend lives by:

"Good is the enemy of best. And the thing that most do not realize is that it is not much harder to achieve the second than the first. Rather, it is a question of which you expect yourself and of your ability to see adversity not as a roadblock but as a challenge of great interest. Desire is the whole point, and what your mind sees when it looks through the sights of your goals is where your effort will strike. Be your best."

Here I go, being my best. I will achieve my goals. I will not let opportunities pass by and live my life wondering what? who? where? when? how? I will know, learn, experience, work, sacrifice, reach, achieve, and become. All these things I will do and more. But I will not wonder about a risk I didn't take.

I will become my best. Will you?

Tag

2008-04-19T20:37:00.006-06:00

Got tagged.

The rules are as follows:
1. Link to your tagger and post these rules on your blog.
2. Share 7 facts about yourself on your blog, some random, some weird.
3. Tag 7 people at the end of your post by leaving their names as well as links to their blogs.
4. Let them know they are tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.

Here goes:

1. Like my mom, I watched 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 movies this weekend. Also a bucket full of episodes of this. Oh, and by the way, I have a crush on Jim Halpert.

2. Another accomplishment from this week was putting new windshield wipers on my car. All. By. Myself. And no one told me how. Not even a boy. My song of the day for that day. Thankyouverymuch.

3. If you haven't noticed yet, I'm a fan of oldies music. In fact, last week I made an oldies playlist on my iPod. Let me just tell you that it is truly amazing. It contains artists such as The Beatles, Billy Joel, Carly Simon, Pat Benetar, Bee Gees, Doobie Brothers, Chicago, The Eagles, Earth, Wind, & Fire, James Taylor, Journey, Edwin Starr (WAR! Houh. What is it good for? Absolutely nothin’!), Jackie DeShannon, Helen Reddy, Three Dog Night, The Temptations, King Harvest, Petula Clark,The Guess Who, Fleetwood Mac and list goes on. And. On. And. On.

4. For the past 12 years, I have slept with a duck named Quackers. He used to quack when you spanked his bum. He stopped quacking. Either I quacked him too much or someone... performed vocal surgery on him without my knowledge. But that's not the sad part. The really, really sad part is that the dryer monster (who I suspect is a member of the stuffed animal mafia) slit his throat. Which I lived with for a while and slowly but surely Quackers' capa was detaded. :(

5. I don't have to stop watching AI because Kathy Lee Cook finally went home.

6. Our loved ones who have died look after us, but do you think they give us the same kind of privacy they would if they were still alive? I sure hope so. Since I think they would give us that privacy, I do all my embarrassing things (i.e. making funny faces in the mirror, dancing and singing to music pretending I'm a rock star, and so on) in the nude. Genius, right?

7. I have a blue rubber duck on the dashboard of my car. He has angry eyebrows drawn on his face because he is no ordinary rubber duck. He is an attack duck. His name is Squishy. Squishy keeps my car safe for robbers, rapists and bad/annoying people. Squishy has never let me down. Never.

The end! I tag Elle, Kenna, Mel, Laney, Whitney, Marja, and Rachel.

Song of the day.

P.S. Don't miss my other post today. It's very important. Very, very crucial to the well-being of our friendship.

Don't ask me why

2008-04-11T13:14:00.002-06:00

I'm excited for a day in the far, far off future when I'm married and in my eighties or something, growing old with my husband. We'll be all smart and wise and have very profound conversations.

He'll be all, "You're old. And wrinkly."

And then I'll be like, "Look who's talking, Yoda."

Peek into my brain

2008-04-07T21:15:00.007-06:00

This weekend and today...

1. Saturday and Sunday my mind was filled with important words. I don't know which ones to study more closely and attempt to live by first. Eeny, meeny, miny, moe will have to suffice.

2. You. Are. Brilliant. -- A friend of mine said those words to me the other day. Not because I needed a boost or a pep talk. And not because I was fishing for compliments either. It really stuck with me. Our conversation started playful as we called each other geniuses and nerds and then Friend said you don't believe me? I, being the silly girl that I am, thought we were still teasing and kept my sarcastic tone. And then I received that flattering compliment. What Friend had to say about me next, surprised me. Friend said that I knew the answers to life's questions. I found myself laughing because come on! Me? Not likely. Thoughtful? Sure. Smart? Fine. Brilliant? That's just not me.

Or is it?

It made me think... is the girl I know as Megan the same as the one others know as Megan? Do I see myself the same way others see me? I feel like I'm not wording this right. Don't get me wrong, it's not like I don't think I'm awesome. I'm fabulous, people! But I see myself from a certain perspective, one that only I can see. Others see me from another perspective that I can't see. I think we often look up to other people's examples and try to be more like them. Maybe, what we don't realize is that they are looking up to our examples, trying to be more like us. Well, if I had realized that before, maybe I wouldn't have done this, or that. Shrug. No regrets. Only lessons learned.

3. Yoga is soooo much awesome!

4. Rainy days are for Jack Johnson. I heard the pitter patter on my window this morning and it was the only thing that got me out of bed. I love rain. So much more than snow. I looked out my window and saw... hail? What? Hm.... Whatev. It works. My feet were wet all day. For some reason I didn't mind.

5. Did you know there's a reason they call it "snail mail"? Why didn't you tell me? No worries, I now know.

6. I'm only 29 pages into The Bridge At Andau and can I just say that IT TOTALLY ROCKS!

7. Wanna know a secret? Me too. But SOMEONE won't tell me. Cough. Laney. Ahem.

Song of the day. "Wait. They don't love you like I love you." It's bobbing around my head.

Humorously inspired

2008-04-05T17:27:00.003-06:00

Silver-Lined Heart
By Taylor Mali

I’m for reckless abandon
and spontaneous celebrations of nothing at all,
like the twin flutes I kept in the trunk of my car
in a box labeled Emergency Champagne Glasses!

Raise an unexpected glass to long, cold winters
and sweet hot summers and the beautiful confusion of the times in between.
To the unexpected drenching rain that leaves you soaking
wet and smiling breathless;
“We danced in the garden in torn sheets in the rain,”
we were christened in the sanctity of the sprinkler,
can’t you hear it singing out its Hallelujah?

Here’s to the soul-expanding power
of the simply beautiful.

See, things you hate, things you despise,
multinational corporations and lies that politicians tell,
injustices that make you mad as hell,
that’s all well and good.
And as far as writing poems goes,
I guess you should.
It just might be a poem that gets Mumia released,
brings an end to terrorism or peace in the middle east.

But as far as what soothes me, what inspires and moves me,
honesty behooves me to tell you your rage doesn’t move me.
See, like the darkest of clouds my heart has a silver lining,
which does not harken to the loudest whining,
but beats and stirs and grows ever more
when I learn of the things you’re actually for.

That’s why I’m for best friends, long drives, and smiles,
nothing but the sound of thinking for miles.
For the unconditional love of dogs:
may we learn the lessons of their love by heart.
For therapy when you need it,
and poetry when you need it.
And the wisdom to know the difference.

The solution to every problem usually involves some kind of liquid,
even if it’s only Emergency Champagne
or running through the sprinkler.
Can’t you hear it calling you?

I’m for crushes not acted upon, for admiration from afar,
for the delicate and the resiliant and the fragile human heart,
may it always heal stronger than it was before.
For walks in the woods, and the for the woods themselves,
by which I mean the trees. Definitely for the trees.
Window seats, and locally brewed beer,
and love letters written by hand with fountain pens:
I’m for all of these.

I’m for evolution more than revolution
unless you’re offering some kind of solution.

I’m for the courage it takes to volunteer, to say “yes,” “I believe,” and “I will.”
For the bright side, the glass half full, the silver lining,
and the optimists who consider darkness just a different kind of shining.

So don’t waste my time and your curses on verses
about what you are against, despise, and abhor.
Tell me what inspires you, what fulfills and fires you,
put your precious pen to paper and tell me what you’re for!

More where this came from here. This one makes me smile.

What are you for?

Come now, and listen to me whine and moan.

2008-03-30T11:51:00.006-06:00

I looked out the window and what did I see?...

Snow? In March?! It's supposed to be Spring.

Come.

On.

This is some kind of sick joke, isn't it? Well, it's not funny. I find no humor in this. None, whatsoever. And sure, some of you smile, sweetly and say, "Oh, it can't be that bad." Can and is. Snow is not welcome. And you know what I have to say to you people who happily accept this visit from the snow demon? :P Mmmmm!

I'm going to crawl into a hole and read a book now, because it's all I can do to keep from sobbing.

(See how I was complaining and being really annoying just then? And how I stomped my feet and threw a fit? See that? You secretly enjoyed it. Because you know I'm right. Admit it.)

For those of you who couldn't come...

2008-03-18T21:44:00.002-06:00

I had my first lacrosse game of the season today. How did it go? Let's just say I got home and walked in the door and these words entered my mind. So I sang them. Loudly. Obnoxiously, even. If I'm not mistaken, I believe at one point I was on my knees with an air guitar. Rockin'. Score was 10-3.

So stick THAT in your juicebox and suck it! :P

Faded

2008-03-15T19:14:00.005-06:00

I sometimes feel like my colors have faded. Like a black and white picture. Is it fatigue? Not likely. I feel gray. I feel lethargic. Somehow every song is too upbeat and all I want to do is hide. Not always, of course. It's like this slug comes around every once in a while to darken my existence and for a few days I get in this mood of solitude. It's possible that it's when my best writing comes out.

It amazes me how lonely I can feel when there is so much life and excitement around me. I can be surrounded by people who love and care about me but for some reason I don't want to accept it. I push people away. People I love. I'm sorry. I ask myself why I'm so irritable, so pessimistic, so stubborn. I think I figured it out today. These reasons are ridiculous but they make so much sense to me. They make the future hopeful.

Life is short. I can't spend it that way. Seize it. Taste. Learn. Experience. Another reason I want to travel. Maybe the color will return in a different form. Or maybe I have to wait for it to come back. Maybe this is something I have to endure. Maybe this feeling won't fully go away until a far off date.

I'm embarrassed that I feel this way. So much that I don't know if I'll click post. We'll see how I feel when I finish my thought.

I don't think this feeling is all that bad. There is a reason for every emotion. Although I'm not 100% sure what the reason behind this one is, I'll accept it. Embrace it even. Maybe something worthwhile will come of it. Then again, maybe not.

Song of the day.

Lately

2008-03-13T19:22:00.004-06:00

My brain...

1. Monday was hard this week. Maybe just because it was a Monday or maybe I was feeling a little bit like this. Glad she was there to be lame with me. Two is better than one.

2. The next day was greeted with giggles and painful outbursts of joy. I flew around on my lacrosse stick pretending to be HP. Now all the boys think I'm crazy. Which makes me find it even more hilarious. "Where's the snitch?!"

3. I firmly believe I'm one of the funniest people living in this beautiful world. Also, highly entertaining. Yarr!

4. Today I was in seminary and thought: Why was this okay? If womanhood is so sacred and special, then why such disrespect? I, for one, would not be able to handle that. Maybe a reason why I am here and now. My heart goes out to those women. Even thought it's different now, it's a hard concept for me to understand. Not only do I find it difficult to accept, I feel personally disrespected.

5. Rose is looking especially attractive today. She is very smooth, very suave. Yet voluptuous at the same time. (Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!)

6. Lacrosse is great. (See #'s 2 and 3.)

7. Making a change with my internship. (Almost forgot this one. Funny, was the main reason I started this post.) I've been interning as a teacher at AFHS but... I'm not enjoying it as much as I thought I would. This, however, I believe I will. Are you ready? ... Writing. (I know. Yes, as a matter of fact, I DO enjoy being a word nerd.)

Here's the Plan:

Research writing as a career

Interview published authors about the process of writing and getting published and write report
Writers Conference (March 21 & 22)

Writing on a regular basis

Blog posts (I know your heart just skipped a beat at the thought of more posts, I know. Try to contain your excitement. Breathing also helps.)
Magazine articles
Short stories & poetry
Novel? (Daunting.)

Submitting

Articles, stories, poem to contests and magazines
Go through process of writing, polishing, submitting
Log submissions and results

Interacting with "co-workers"

Novel Prep exercises, March 24-31st
Online "Book in a Month" event in April (through a writers website; make a word count goals and interact online with other writers)
Report weekly on goals and progress and interaction

Now doesn't that sound a little more exciting and productive than sitting in the back of a class you've already taken and, on occasion, teaching what the teachers want, when they want, how they want? Yeah, I thought so, too.

8. Music is not consuming my life enough. I'm feeling a favorites post coming on. I have too many favorites. Maybe I'll have to go by genres. Don't hold your breath.

9. I also decided that books aren't consuming my life enough either. Maybe after my English paper I'll read something on my list. (Yes, I really do have a list. It's quite lengthy, too. I carry it with my in my day planner and add to it as I think of more I want to read.)

And she lived happily ever after. The end. Ha.

Song of the day: "You're a Wolf" by Sea Wolf
(This song reminds me of summer, grass fights in the park. Also, makes me feel like a gypsy. Mel will have something to say about that. ;) I like being a gypsy.)

Unexpected

2008-02-29T20:04:00.002-07:00

I'm sick. I only went to school for one class. I drove my mom's car because I asked a boy to a dance and in reply he decided you saran wrap my car. (The answer was "Yes" if you were wondering.)

Because I drove Mom's car, I had to park in visitor parking so I wouldn't get a ticket. After my class, as I was putting the key in the lock to get in the car, I heard a little honk to my right. Ed, the school's parking attendant, was shaking his pointer finger at me. Shame on me. I awaited the wrath as he waddled up to me.

"You can't park there."
"This is my mom's car. I didn't know where else to park because I don't have a sticker for it."
"You can't park there."
"I'm leaving ; does it really matter now?"
"How long have you been here?"
"Just third period."
(Shaking his head.) "No. You can't park here."
(Hysterical now, with tears welling up in my eyes.)
"I don't understand what I've done wrong! I'm sorry! I'm sick, and tired, and I just want to go home! I only came for ONE CLASS! There are PLENTY of other parking spots here! PLEASE, just let me go home!"
(Before I finished.)"Oh. Oh. Okay, okay. You go home. Just go home."
"Thank you."

And then I opened the door on my face. Sobbing, I slammed it hard and backed out of my spot quickly. I was temped to wave the Satan finger at him as I drove away. I resisted. Dang Nazi.

Let it be

2008-02-25T21:49:00.005-07:00

For lacrosse today, we practiced outside. On a field. On grass. Green grass. Almost. Still very exciting. I sang.

Today was/is a Beatles day. Wish I had more of their songs. Of course by more, I mean all. I wore my converse today. Walking to class, I felt slightly punk-ish. With my converse, my hands in my front pockets, and The Beatles singing, "Whisper words of wisdom, 'Let it be.'" into my ears. In those moments, my sun shone brighter. What joy.

I love just soaking in the world. Looking as I walk. Seeing my surroundings. Breathing wet air. Wondering if Grandma Lyn played a part in creating that puddle for me to splash in or that green grass for me to serenade. I choose to believe she did. She would. It's something she would do. I miss her more at times than others. Right now, I'm just feeling her presence and knowing she's watching. There's something special about it.

Too often I feel like my words are not enough to describe how I think... feel.... So I keep writing, hoping more words will make it better. They never seem to. "Let it be."

Song of the day: "Let It Be" by The Beatles

Where?

2008-02-23T16:26:00.010-07:00

Everywhere. I want to see everything. I want to experience it all. I want to embark on a great adventure with no strings and nothing to hold me back. Float from city to city, town to town, country to country. Middle of nowhere. I want to see it. More than that I want to learn it. New countries, cultures, languages, faces. I want to explore every inch of this world before I leave it.

I want to read a book on a bench in a park in Paris. I want to stand on a bridge in Germany and look out across the city and just breathe it in. I want to stand at the top of a mountain and announce to the world that I am on top of it. I want to go for a run in Greece or Italy and get lost and see my surroundings like the natives. I want to go to Australia and hang out with some kangaroos. I want to go to Asia and be still, watching all the busy people walk by and wonder where they are going in such a hurry. I want to learn about the different cultures in the world and begin to understand them the best way an outsider could.

I have so many questions about the world and the people who live in it. I want to learn about people and cultures and religions and what makes people the way they are. I want to know what influence a persons culture has on their outlook on life. I have so many questions and I feel the only way they can be answered is if I go. Get up now, without waisting another second, and just find out for myself.

I want to post about a foreign country and have the pictures be taken by me. I want to see the world in my own way. Without a plan. No tours. No schedule. Just go. Just experience for myself. Is it naive of me to think it's a good idea? The dangers of the world and it's inhabitants make me hesitant. I want to see yet be unseen. Unnoticed.

This is a Bio-Poem I wrote in September. With small updates.

Because Organized Thoughts Just Wouldn’t Make Sense

Humorous, perplexing, sincere, nonchalant
Daughter of Karlene, Jim, Craig and Whitney - sister to Ken, Steve, Chris, Bump, Muln, and Ellebelle - and favorite aunty to Carter and Rayder
Who loves Sunday afternoons with my family, laughing with close friends, and listening to, singing, playing, and creating music
Who feels the need of serenity, simplicity, silliness, and security in everyday life
Who gives somewhat-useful advice and support, service to those in need, and all I can to make a difference in a life no matter how small
Who fears the the web-spinners in my room will someday consume my soul, the loss of loved ones, and feelings of insufficiency
Who would like to see every inch of this world on my own terms and in my own way, those close to me become the people I see glimmers of sparkling in their eyes, and two amazing people who earth lost in 2005
Resident of infinite worth and possibilities
Megan Davis

Rain

2008-02-22T18:26:00.003-07:00

Today was a beautiful day. It wasn't cold and there was a light sprinkle of rain. I decided to go for a little jog. My little jog turned into a 5 mile run. It had been a while since I'd gone running on my own so I set out for nowhere in particular.

It was an incredible run. About 2 miles in, the sprinkle turned a little heavier. My face met the drops with a grin and small chuckle. Puddles met my feet with a splash. I loved the feeling of the drops sliding down my cheeks and off my chin, splashing all the while. The cool air filled my lungs with fresh joy. Peace. I've never breathed such crisp air before. It was stimulating. Refreshing. Even now, these words come up wanting.

As I ran I began to see through new eyes. I've driven by this tree countless times but never saw it's beauty. I slowed my pace to take a longer look. Other beauties stuck out to me and I wondered how I didn't know they were there. So close to me. I wonder how many people drive by without noticing. With out seeing the beauty. Racing off to busy lives and never really seeing the wonderful things around them.

I got home and Mom ordered me to take a hot shower and eat some soup. The water couldn't get hot enough. The cool rain had mixed up my body's ability to discern temperature. My newly sharpened senses couldn't tell if the water was burning hot or arctic ice. Although the dial was turned as far as it could go left, it felt glacial. I loved it. I laughed as my body soaked up all the hot water until my senses returned. At this point, the water was luke warm. Curious.

Song of the day: "Hotel California" by Eagles

Busy

2008-02-21T21:53:00.004-07:00

Is there time to breathe now? Can I come out? Is it safe? I've been cooped up in this place of hectic responsibilities for so long it seems. It's dark here and they've locked me up in a small room. Hugging my legs in frantic despair, I sit crouched in the corner, waiting for sunlight and calm.

Oh, world of nothing, how I've missed you! Tomorrow is Friday and we can romp like children at the beach. There will be no schedules or responsibilities and life will be simply stress-free. Oh, beautiful, frivolous Friday! I've been waiting for you! You shine like 70 degrees in January. I thought you'd never come.

Soon, Friday, you will pass. Along with our dear friends Saturday and Sunday. I will be left with cold and lonely weekdays until summer comes and I can once again feel the sun applying blush to my already rosy cheeks. Summer and I can sit in a hammock and read old favorites and lose track of the time. And days. We can adventure like wild beasts, discovering new lives and possibilities along the way.

I wait for you, summer. I anticipate your warmth and freedom. For all those times you've lingered, giving my bare feet warm sidewalks and wet sand, I thank you. The sweetest gift. I wait. Patiently?

"If the day and the night are such that you greet them with joy, and life emits a fragrance like flowers and sweet-scented herbs, is more elastic, more starry, more immortal, -- that is you success. All nature is your congratulation, and you have cause momentarily to bless yourself. The greatest gains and values are farthest from being appreciated. We easily come to doubt if they exist. We soon forget them. They are the highest reality.... The true harvest of my daily life is somewhat as intangible and indescribable as the tints of morning or evening. It is a little star-dust caught, a segment of the rainbow which I have clutched."
~Henry David Thoreau, Walden

Song of the day: "I Feel the Earth Move" by Carole King

On my mind?

2008-02-11T20:22:00.002-07:00

Read on and you shall learn...

I think I worry too much. About my friends and family. I worry if they're doing okay. If they need anything. If there is anything I can do for them. I focus on others. I wonder if I worry about myself enough. Too much? Then my mind wanders back to every little thing going on in my (in comparison to others) oh, so uneventful and easy life. Well... Do I give myself enough time to just think? About me? "What about me? What's the big deal?" Oh, brain. Please chill out. You'll be okay. Everything will just work itself out.
Teddy bears. They are fuzzy and squishy. Good to cuddle with. They make me smile a snuggly smile.
Writing continually proves to be a form of comfort and therapy. That's just they way it is. It's in my blood.
Bellybuttons. They are so weird. Unique. I wonder if doctors are aware of the social havoc they can wreak on people whose bellybuttons they botch?
I constantly fill silence. Whether the filler is audible or in my head. I always have some thought in my mind. Or a song. At any rate, something is always there to fill the empty space. It's probably why I keep posting about my random thoughts. Once again, brain. Calm down.
A blunder. Why hello, blunder. You still occupy my thoughts? I thought you had gone away. Well, we might as well catch up. How are you doing? Oh, you're lonely? I'm sorry. We still can't be friends. Go away, blunder. You were mean to me.
Is any of this making sense? I sure hope not. I enjoy being weird and hard to understand. When someone calls me weird, dork, nerd, crazy, etc... I take it as a complement. Everyone is weird. Wouldn't it be so boring to be normal? I don't like normal.
Was that an earthquake or did I just rock your world?

Song of the day: "Fix You" by Coldplay

Oh, I wish...

2008-02-11T10:33:00.000-07:00

Just spent 20 minutes meeting my future college buddy. One can still dream, right?

Well, do I?

2008-02-07T20:25:00.000-07:00

Monotony will kill me one day. Jim thinks I used too much film on Mom's digital camera. What do you think? Too much?

My hair always stays perfectly intact throughout the day, you know.

We won't be talking about my camera skills, or lack thereof.

Hey, cutie. How YOU doin'?

Let's smooch.

Ooh. Tastay. I know, I know...

I am a rock star.

Biiig shocker there.

I'm also totally sexay. Look at the hot. Look. You know you want it. Deep down.

I'm not cocky or anything. I swear.

Getting to the point now...

Psych! There is no point.

Except maybe this semi-presentable picture. AND the question of the night which is...

Do I have kissable lips?

Song (Album) of the day: Mr. Magoriums Wonder Emporium Original Soundtrack

Auntie Meg, can I post on your blog?!

2008-02-01T16:11:00.000-07:00

Sure, Carter.

Given how enthusiastically he was typing I thought for sure it would be something terribly important.

0 h9100111. p13.0.

/k , lsasewsesdu8kjujbg qw

How profound.